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REP_006 Sexpats & Golddiggers

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Author: Reekay V.

Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.

Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay


  1. Very good Henry… good summary.. I think the term Sexpat is also very much assigned to men by the women who are bitter and rejected by these men who know the kind of woman they want and make the effort to find them. Then the men who throw this term to some degree are trying to gain some ground with these difficult women. The Sexpat element is a small percentage of the expat population, just as chronic gamblers are… but you will find a lot of the gamblers in Las Vegas… and so you may find a higher concentration of Sexpats in some small expat enclaves; but again a small minority of the overall population. Recently i had a conversation with one of these women .. she had the opinion that no younger attractive woman would want an older man unless it was all about money.. I tried to explain the differences in Asian women… but she was adamant.. i suppose most of her assuredness was because she was very much of this mindset.. she only sees the financial side of relationships… nothing else, so she is unable to comprehend what other women might find interesting.. like experience, stability, education, maturity, etc etc etc….

    1. Hello robert, her statement is only base on her own opinion.I have talked to a lot of filipinas who are now married to older men. Many of these women are also attractive. But their men are not rich. Just average. Well , i am also married to a foreigner who is also Not rich lol. Base on observation they are marrying older men because older men gives emotional stability,they are more matured, knows what a woman needs, understands our flaws and these men are not necessarily rich but provides financial stability.

    2. I have also seen good Men with younger women associated with the same mindset of those involved in prostitution. Face it, American culture does not have much respect for elders and especially older Men. They are pretty much put out to pasture and left for dead after 55 or so. American entitled females particularly hate the idea of a younger attractive women with an older guy even though most wouldn’t even look at or consider an older guy as a mate.

      I also resent the labels. Living in the Philippines I found and feel so very blessed to have a beautiful filipina both in spirit and body who wakes each day with a reassuring smile and genuinely loves me. I mostly let the labels pass by as my filipina and I are happy and have a great time together something we both hoped for.

  2. Thanks for the insights. I really like the openness of what are the first things a person looks at in another. I lived with a Fi!ipina for 8 months iin the Middle East (I am American) and I saw exactly what you have been talking about here and other podcasts. I wish I had all this info priorly but my next journey will be much smoother.

  3. You know Reekay, I wish I had such wisdom when I was younger. I would not have made so many mistakes with women. I am so fortunate and happy that I married my wife. Dating is Dating, but Marriage is finding a true soul mate!!

  4. Great post!!! The shaming terminology and bias is culturally obvious. If you ask the single Filipina moms about the Filipino baby-daddies that attracted them, or the Kanos getting any action, it’s ALL about LIES. Filipinas won’t go to bed with nice guys like me, ditto in the West. IF you tell the Filipina you’re not a religious fanatic, marriage minded and don’t get turned on by diapers, you are viewed as some evil, horrible monster. But, some young bad-boy is what turns them on. It’s worse if you are disabled because you are immediately viewed as cursed by God. So, it’s HOPELESS. I have met a few Kanos who are getting dozens of Pinay. But, EVERY one of them I’ve met, was just pretending to be marriage minded and they spent lots of money taking the babae to nice restaurants and resorts. Women everywhere want a contract from a man because her ass-ettes are depreciating with each year. They don’t want a man to just “come and go” (pun intended). HOWEVER, Some women do prefer multiple short-term contracts because IT IS MORE lucrative now (bar-girls being the classic example). I find every Filipina, and her family, desperately trying to put the Kano in the Provider box, never the Lover box. So, how do you navigate finding intermediate-term lovers rather than a wife? What I observe are the two extremes of bar-girls OR men who marry the Filipinas. The GF who lives with Kano, seems extremely hard to do and something I have found elusive. How you can a Kano find and keep a girl like Lynn without a ring on her finger and in your nose???

    1. in regards to your last question, about finding a good filpina as a g/f.. there are two rules of thumb to reach that goal.

      first.. don’t throw money at a girl. don’t be a tightwad either. but just date like you would in the states. pay for movie, pay for dinner or a day-ride on the bike. but these guys who keep a girl around by buying her a new phone, clothes or ‘loans’ are establishing that the connection between them is based on Money. no wonder a month later they are saying, “she only wanted me for my money.” duh. date a girl normally and the good ones will be appreciative while the gold-diggers will realize you’re not an easy mark and move on.

      second.. exercise Patience. too many guys meet a filipina and figure the only way to ‘keep her coming back’ is to offer marriage or life in their home country. bad, bad idea. instead of throwing money at her, this guy is throwing security at her, which again sets a bad foundation for a real relationship. of course she will nod her head and stick around. but love? that never had a chance to start.

      so.. guys need to stop acting so desperate in the PH. this is not usa. no more jumping through hoops for women to stay around. take your time and be willing to let them walk away. plenty more to meet and the ones who leave because you won’t pay their toll are NOT the ones you want to keep anyway.

      1. So true…don’t spoil any girls anywhere…take good care of them and show them love and provide for them, treat them to nice things and fun and excitement when u can afford to….if that is not enough for them….well then maybe they are a gold digger and it’s best that you move on.

      2. Thanks Reekay…. Your videos and commentaries are greatly appreciated by many. I made a post to David, below, regarding how humans evolved to be biased, and the indoctrination of the superego. Mabuhay!

  5. hello reekay, I want to say that I am your biggest fan! I love your articles I havent read them all but i read some and they are good, it always have sense. I have watched your youtube videos from your channel. I loooooooove them and liked them when I could. I really love your videos because it shows the reality of how it is in the Philippines! But at the same time you are not an expat that is only there to use women for sex haha. You are a very good man. Your videos are very truthful. I am going home to the Philippines in October, I hope we can collaborate in a video. I am curious and I would love to make an interview about your life there. I am amazed of how you love living there and experiencing the life of a filipino. I know other expats complain a lot about my country. I know there’s many problems there but it is a paradise as well. I know that collaboration is good for channel but thats not really the reason why I want to meet you in person. I just love love your truthfulness and because you embraced the filipino culture. Your girlfriend is such an awesome woman (I read in your previous article about her and seen her in your videos. Her personality seems very cool. Wow I am very happy for you guys. here is my email. [email protected] . Please let me know if you would are there at that time. Even if you say no, I still would love to meet you and your girlfriend in Cebu. You are an amazing person.

    1. Sure, if you can make it to Dumaguete we can meet up and talk about doing a video. Lyn and I meet up with about two or three visitors a week, on her day off. Sometimes we just meet bumping into them at the boardwalk or mall. 🙂 Drop me a line at my FB when you are near arriving.

  6. so very well said Henry…these words have been thrown at me quite a few times by very ignorant and jealous individuals…i have even had someone in my FB group tell everyone that i am a pedophile and he can prove it to everyone…he said he reported me to the police and has over 20 big Muslims looking to kill me in cebu….he pulled up a pic of 47 yr old me and my 21 yr old gf and said i am i sick pedophile and he has pm everyone in my group to tell them …then he continued to send me messages with many treats of hacking me and also some death threats ….some people are truly pathetic and so jealous that it drives them crazy to watch a happy man enjoying his life surrounded by great people….so they make up false accusations to attack you with and devote part of their life to try to destroy yours…how pathetic is that!

    1. David, we evolved a primitive socialization mechanism called an imprintable super-ego. Notice how people accept, as self-evident, the culture, tradition and religion in which they were raised. Just ask a Christian Filipina what her faith would be if she were raised from birth in Israel with Jewish parents. And, how easy will it be to convert her, based on logic or evidence, to any other faith or none at all?

      Ditto, what flag, what anthem and what age to marry. In our ancestral past and the present in some tribes, you’ll see all kinds of marriage and dating mechanisms that the current Western culture deems “unacceptable”. We are nothing more than the product of whatever Orwellian Thought Police we’ve been imprinted by, like embossing a paper or CD. However, those with more highly developed pre-frontal cortex activity are more capable of free-thinking and may reject some or all aspects of this superego indoctrination and be less superstitious too. Education and genetics both appear to play a role in such ability.

      The Chemistry and Match dating sites even have put the highly indoctrinated into a category called “The Builder”, knowing that such types attract others of the same type and can’t be reasoned with. Sadly, we evolved to punish the social cheater based not on objective scientific evidence, but the exact opposite. For a new “idea” it must pass through being viewed as absurd; then being vehemently opposed by the majority, and finally accepted as self-evident.

  7. Hey Reekay, I figured out how to download the podcast onto my I-Touch. Good insights on the dating game in the Philippines. I dated my wife on Yahoo 12 years ago, and we’re still very happily married. One question though, what do you think the max age gap should be? My wife and I are 20 years apart. I met a couple in Zamboanga City in 2004 she was 21, he was 76. I thought this age gap way off the wall, and right away I thought gold digger. Anyways good podcast, good vlogs. keep up the good work eh.

    1. My belief is that there is no ‘appropriate’ age-gap. It’s like asking, “How many kids should people have?” What is too many for some is not enough for others. The only thing all people can agree on is that the Legal age limits are met, specifically that neither is under the age of 18. (most countries) Anything below the legal limit is a crime.

      But if both parties are over 18, people can dislike the idea. People can say it’s not for them. People can feel it’s a bad idea or just gold-digging. But the reality is that each couple is different. Some of those relationships are in good faith, some aren’t. But there is no blanket statement that covers everyone.

      All I can validly say about an age gap from 21 to 76 is that the dynamics are totally different from that of a couple 30 years apart or 15 years apart. Generally, the larger the age gap, the more the man needs to help mentor his girlfriend/wife into maturity. It’s an unavoidable part of the package deal. Some men are fine with that, others don’t want to hassle the immaturity. But then, that’s why we each have freedom of choice.

      1. Exactly. And, with the world overpopulation crisis, perhaps we should be more concerned about family planning than the pseudo-morality prescribed by the elite. We like to distance ourselves from our biological origins, so we deem various sex acts as “evil” and may even avoid contraception. And, we evolved to severely punish the social cheater. Worse still, religion gives us enormous amounts of narcissistic supply; by allowing us to believe the entire universe, extending billions of light years in all directions with trillions of solar systems, was all put here by some invisible hominid in the sky. Ridiculous! Sadly, a perfectly social animal must have a perfectly indoctrinated free will. We are socialized through the indoctrination of our imprintable superego that accepts as self-evident the culture, tradition and religion we were exposed to. This was useful, so the next generation would easily accept the new culture of the conquers. Anyway, why if the age of consent is 18, does the US CDC recommend HPV vaccines at age 11 to 12?

        1. I would agree with a lot of your post, however, overpopulation is a myth propagated by those controlling the selfish and oligarchic narrative in a deliberate plan of promoting scarcity instead of solutions.

          I believe Man has the capacity as creative beings to not only come up with the solutions to every problem we face, but also, the capability to devise and fix every problem known to Mankind.

          Large corporations and selfishness has created marketing schemes and totally unneeded boobles and trinkets in the billions with all the packaging, etc to make people buy things they never needed or even wanted, all to raise the bottom line for companies who pollute the rivers, oceans and air with their insanity, all the while buying up more and more resources to squander in this cycle.

          Worst of all, they convince the consumers they create through their marketing tactics, that they are the problem, that the average person is the reason for all the problem with resources. In reality many technologies are suppressed because big corps cannot profit or control them.

          I believe if people were to truly be educated to care for the planet, not only would we be less interested in things not needed, it would take billions more people to properly care for and repair the planet through programs designed to do just that. We have the ability as mentioned to solve every problem known to Man. There is no reason for anyone to starve on this planet, there is plenty of resources to do it, it’s greed of the few and the way things are done that’s the problem and teaching lack instead of real solutions.

          All that said, ultimately it is up to each individual to take responsibility and become part of the solutions instead of thinking nothing can be done except depopulate and cut back, What’s stopping us from reaching a new garden of eden? Our own beliefs it cannot be done and teaching humanity as a whole that lack of resources are the problem. The earth can provide much, much more than we think or know.

  8. I have always been generous with my women if there was a connection..and more importantly….if I got to like them…not all could get that far..though…whether they were North American,European or Asian….Il love being a sugar daddy espescially if I could see they needed help as well..but again I was never easy..

  9. I agree with your subject, I on the other hand prefer
    older women, older than I. Women about 20 years
    older. I dated a few older ones, neither would except
    my proposal of marriage. I believe what every makes
    you happy go for it. Question for you Reekey,
    What is your take on people having humanoid dolls as their mates?

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