Author: Reekay V.
Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.
Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay
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If you can’t get a date in the Philippines you better take a good look at yourself.
Some will die of thirst during a rain storm..
As soon as I assess a guy who talks like any that you described, I look for the exit and take it without trying to point anything out to them. They are a complete waste of time, consideration and energy.
Hi Reekay , this episode was targeting the psychological aspects of rejection, but I assume there are other types of guys who won’t make it with quality girls , for being sick or too poor..
If you have approach anxiety in your own country, you will have approach anxiety in the Philippines. It doesn’t magically go away, but you can overcome it and the difference is, in the Philippines you will probably have a much higher success rate. Not 100% success rate, but higher than in it would be in your own country if you are a reasonably desirable foreigner (friendly, financially stable, etc.).
In addition, there seems to be a new YouTuber every friggin day. You and maybe one other person are someone to listen to. Don’t listen to any of these Filipina bloggers they don’t know what they’re talking about but you got all these guys thirsty after them. The Filipina P would be the only one to listen to, all these other girls think they can be Youtubers and they have no expertise on anything. You can’t even understand them.
I’m sorry there’s not an abundance of wonderful Filipino women don’t tell guys that. They’re becoming more westernized as the days go by and inherently They are the same as western women. They may look better they may be more feminine they may be more family oriented, traditional, I wouldn’t use that word anymore. But when it comes down to it, they’re just as hypergamous and they will fuck you over just as quick as any western woman so don’t get into the fantasy that these women are different. You need to bring the same thing out there as you do in the western land. Don’t think that you go from a two in the west to a 12 in the Philippines the women are looking for the same thing, unless you want the bottom of the barrel women Don’t fool yourself
That third group of guys are also kinda Narcissistic . They believe they don’t have to do anything to appeal to a woman. They are entitled .
They strike out because they were losers in the West. Too many Youtubers paint a false picture of dating in the Philippines..
Unfortunately you see these guys in the red light districts . That’s the only place they might find a girl . A decent woman would not go to those places ..
You know that line from that movie, “You had me at hello”?
I strike out at hello.
I really enjoy listening to your observations and the way you share your personal experiences. Well thought out and delivered precisely. Much appreciated! Peace ☮️
This is why I typically avoid other ex-pats during my travels.
Because they don’t have enough $ to make up for their age/looks. Competition is higher than ever before, your social security pension isn’t enough anymore.
Being respectful , kind, funny , interested in her culture , clean neat and confidant can go a long way. Also letting her talk and express herself and listening , showing interest in what she brings can go a long way. There’s more to a relationship than sex. So hopefully when the thing I do to prepare myself to go there to stay , I feel I can do it because I have a lot of friends in the US that are from the Philippines and I’ve learned from them and from travelling there as well .
You mean you need to have a little game to meet women? Who would have thought. Yeah its super easy to meet nice girls there, even on the dating sites, you just have to use really good discernment and be willing to cut the crazies off right away.
Reekay is 100% right and it needed to be said. I have spent months in the Philippines, including this year.
The sheer number of sloppily dressed, unshaven, dirty clothes, tight T-shirts, flip flops, backward baseball hats is overwhelming.
One thing I would add to Reekay’s list: LOWER YOUR VOICE. Filipinas do not like LOUD people. Speaking at a low, non-threatening volume will help build rapport with a quality Filipina. Another is this: be generous when it comes to paying for dates and paying for her transportation. Another great vlog!
Second guy is a “Conversational narcissist.”
Unrealistic expectations?
Very we’ll communicated. I’ve never had trouble meeting and dating SE Asian women, including Filipinas. I’m a respectful, sincere, happy, secure, confident and amiable. I’m a very good listener and my business success for 40 years was largely because of these qualities, especially respectful and engaging. My brother on the other hand is a malignant narcissist that you referred to and struggles in every way. Because of my brother I can spot these guys from far away and don’t make myself available. Healthy happy emotionally stable Filipinas have good self esteem and don’t put up with disrespect, minimizing, undermining, immature behavior. Men who imagine they can treat SE Asian women poorly should not come.
I knew a guy just like what you described. He DID have a lot more time visiting the Philippines. He DID speak the language, which I could not really. He kept getting involved in pig raising, club investing, college subsidizing, etc schemes that I would advise him he had NO experience in and was about to get ripped off. He usually got ripped off and sometimes got perilously close (Tan family) to serious trouble. He would advise me of his bona fides and tell me I did not know what I was talking about. I have been married to a Filipina over 12 years now and she and her son have adapted to the USA very well. I doubt my friend ever actually married the lady he put up in an apartment in Angeles City for years. This post is getting long, but let me say a lot of his track record matches up with elements of all the prototypes you described.
well i have a story. i was looking for a good woman. i had planned to put boots on the ground and look. it didnt work out that way. i said hello to a woman on a facebook group. she was 9 yrs younger than me. check one. she was a widow, so can marry. she was not a city girl or bar girl. she was a lifelong houswife who lost her husband. she had 3 kids. 25, 20, and 8. i was ok with that. she wanted a simple life and security for her and her kids. NOT THE EXTENDED FAMILY. i have been there 2 times. once for a month. and then for six months. it was not all roses. but we are still together and i will retire and marry her. to the point of your video. i was appoched by many women. in the market, in the mall. on the street, it did not matter where i went. parks, zumba, riding bike. just walking . the ph is full of good attractive women who are eager to date a westenn man. the men who say they cant find a good woman in ph. dude, work on yourself. i have found a good one. it is so easy. and if you are a catch then other women will try to poach you. just be a good dude. i will stay with my pretty lady. but i do enjoy the attention.
It seems you have to let her choose you not the other way around.
Spot on Reekay. It’s a valuable skill to LISTEN to people and not constantly talking about yourself, because now there is no conversation to be had when the person you’re talking to is taking up 100% of the talking time. It is mentally exhausting.
Reekay, I am glad you talked about this: it is a somewhat new hot topic. I have a hypothesis. After 5-10 years of YouTube vloggers educating the world about dating in the PH, many men around the world got the wrong idea: that they just have to show up and Filipinas will adore them no matter what they are like. The result of this is not only more Westerners in PH, but also (this is where my hypothesis is injected) the % of poor quality foreigners is high. The reason I hypothesize this is that the poor quality male in the West can’t get a woman to be interested in him. So, he hears how great it is in the PH and wants to go. Of course high quality men also want to go to PH, but a significant portion of them end up getting a woman in the West. My point is, to the poor quality man, the stories from PH make them think they don’t have to change, they only have to go to PH and the women will flock to them. The promise of PH is siren’s call to them. Thus, I propose there is a higher proportion of poor quality men among the expats that are there to find a woman. Having said all of that, it is just a hypothesis. I have no way of testing it for accuracy.
An important video *I* needed to watch. Thanks for posting it.
I DO NOT drink so bars have no appeal for me, nor bar women. But I would be the guy who talks himself out of asking a girl out.
The second guy—lol, I can see him saying something like this: Please let me know what you think about me. They should have just gone to Thailand. Knock the dust off your Junk. to get in the right mind set
They can’t afford to live in Thailand or Vietnam? Not sure about Vietnam, but the COL in Thailand is similar, and might even be a little cheaper than PH.
Those guys don’t represent foreign men very well.
However,
for some of us who are fit and don’t have hygiene problems meaning 2-3 showers a day, deodorant, cologne, clean footwear and pressed clothes, the problem is the family nuance of being with a Filipina.
The package deal is a deal breaker!
Agreed.. it’s crazy how those foreigners do complain. My opinion as to why they continue to strike out is because when they do meet that Filipina who has the bad intentions the foreigner is to blinded and narrow-minded to see that because they have the mindset of every Filipina wants them for good intentions. They also feel that if they throw their money around at the Filipina that the Filipina will automatically fall to their feet. It also just shows that those type of foreigners are the one that absolutely has no respect towards a female, especially a Filipina. Once again it’s just only my opinion on that
Well spoken. I pray I’m not like any of those gentlemen. As a shy person I might tend to drift towards your 1st example; however, I’m self aware and can correct my behavior on the fly. After last years end of a 20 year marriage “Only Fools Rush In”. Another enlightening vid. Cheers, JM
good video, I am amazed many times in talking with some men about mating and dating. You might call them incels but in reality these guys are just socially awkward. In the US teens and 20 something men have been socialized on social media and online games. They really don’t know how to comport themselves in person. Many times they don’t know the basics of holding a casual conversation. And women are very verbal and communicate to gain comfort. Meanwhile they do look at non-verbal cues from men they meet. Talking with a woman is challenging enough Without all the unforced errors shy awkward guys make. I mean how do you tell a guy that he needs to take a few remedial courses on “acting human”. And you are right, the very men who need this message will probably never listen.
“… clean shaved”. I like my beard… is it something Filipinas hate to see?
Great video! Yeah, Some icks transcend all nationalities and relationship standards. And this guy found one of them lol
I’ve seen many vids lately stating that dating is much more difficult than what is portrayed. Some are even saying the dating scene is played out for the foreigners. Are you hearing the same thing Reekay? Is dating in the PH still alive and well for the foreigner?
Selfish people are a waste.
As you’ve; you need to have an honest conversation with yourself about what you actually want.
The other thing, my opinion, is that the common denominator in all your problems… is you. So maybe take a look at your logics/ decision making process.