Author: Reekay V.
Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.
Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay
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I want to learn to do AI like that
So you have a daughter.
Wow great advice especially for newbies. I’m an American and I’ve been living in Cebu for about 17 years. I’m married to a Filipino I have two stepsons and two between us. Always been a family man so this really worked out for me. I have a similar plan to yours as far as money goes with my Filipina wife. The word budget never really occurred to her because she never had any money to budget. So we expats have to teach our Filipina to be financially responsible. So now after 17 years of working with this lady she’s a great money manager now. We do exactly what you suggested she takes 10,000 a month That’s her money I do the same We do whatever we want to do with those funds. I’m taking it a step further now since she’s much more money responsible. We decide a certain amount of money for the rent and all of the other household expenses. She manages that money. It takes two yeses to change our status quo. So I have a veto power and she has a veto power. We need to both agree on what we put into investments every month. She needs to stay within the budget for the household expenses. How we handle family emergencies They used to come to me for everything I have 20 family members. So I did it slightly different there’s an emergency her family has four siblings. So if the bill is P60,000 my part is P15,000 no more no less. So it’s not yes or no. I do my part as a Filipino husband. I really enjoy your podcast I’m really sorry that I didn’t know of you 17 years ago Most everything you discuss I had to learn the hard way. Thanks again Hope to meet you in person sometime I live in Cordova Cebu.
Sounds like work to me lol
“your filipina”
A little off topic Reekay, where are you getting all these pictures of beautiful filipinas you are putting on your videos? Are they AI generated? I am not seeing women of this caliber just out walking around in the Philippines. Is there a special area to find them in?
From what I’ve heard eastern ladies are better. I just hope they’re not becoming like western women.
who’s your model in the video?
Just say to her “what part of no don’t you understand?” And don’t reach for your pockets. I don’t have that problem because I have a woman who already has everything. We’re both established. And we have a great time. No problems. Make it easy on yourself and get one of those.
Exactly what I did. Give her 10k php a month and let her do what she wants.
Look, it’s not part of our culture to be a welfare plan for any extended family, many of whom, I might say, are capable of working and contributing. How easily we, as foreigners are bamboozled into believing HER FAMILY is OUR responsibility. No OUR family is OUR responsibility, and I might add it’s HERS too, meaning she should contribute to the financial well being of our family, at the very least managing wisely, not pushing and prodding us to spend money we don’t have. Yes, a filipina partner should help you SAVE. You can perhaps give her an allowance, which she can choose to spend on HER family, but not a peso more. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but your very survival here may depend upon it!
I mean they max out a credit card you cancel them they with hold sex you have options they keep that up you device them. But really should not have married someone like that.
I would be putting my life in my hands if I told mine no. Mine likes to play rich and show off . Most selfish person I ever met.
Sound advice
the reason for a big family is to support each other………… specialy if you are a outsider……..
something is wrong here with your strong family bond mythology
after 40 years of marriage to a Filipina, I can tell you that the culture says that you can’t say no especially when a friend or relative asks you for something. That’s not to say people don’t like it when they are put upon and then have to say yes, we’ve had many friends and relatives of my wife who come here from the Philippines, and expect to be put up in our home and then driven all over to see the sites at our expense. And it’s considered rude to say no. Although I will say my wife has finally started to push back. I think she’s just finally had enough of being taken advantage of basically. her immediate family is all here in the United States, and have never asked us for any money the 30+ years they’ve been here. The problem has mainly been with friends and relatives coming from overseas or from different areas of the country to visit and expecting to be treated like kings and queens.
I wonder how many American women’s heads will explode while watching this video?!!
This describes my ex wife son who is npd.
Good talk
Anybody know Gina S. Banquincio? She is suspected of attempted Murder here in the State of Indiana.
Sounds like you need to put them on an allowance, Filipina and her family? So what are they doing to earn it? Sounds like she needs to make a choice, the man she married or her family? If she wants children (most do), then you have to explain to her: how can I support both families on a fixed income? So she needs to choose which happiness she wants long term? Sounds like the ideal situation would be to start a business where they are earning you and themselves money (kind of disguise it that way), so they never ask for money ever?
Not true. I married my Filipino bride three years ago. My wife as asked me to help out her sister. Until I found out that her sister and family has had money problems. So no.
On the other hand if you marry a woman from this country a woman can bleed you dry and even divorce you and take half or more of your worth.
If I marry a woman, any woman, my responsibility is to her and only her and that is irrespective of where she’s from. I make that understood before the relationship gets deep. She’s marrying me… I’m not marrying HER entire family. She can marry me without abandoning her family. Now that that’s understood, she can make her choice. There are a LOT of loving single women in the Philippines AND other parts of the world.
200 us a month are you crazy
I was involved in a Triad relationship with two women from the Philippines and they tried that, every conversation with them both was about money money money, after several years I had enough and dumped them both… Such a relief..
Great video, thank you! Bro, what program are you using to gen those pictures of those women? Thanks.
What I don’t like about the culture is the idea of a foreigner has to supply for their whole family, and they are expecting him to do so when they don’t do that from their own people. The girl I was speaking to for a whole year had the same ideals. She had sisters that were married, and a brother along with her father she wanted me to pay for. That’s the reason why her and I didn’t work out outside of the disrespect she displayed when I told her that wasn’t going to happen. Someone under age, yeah, I understand that. As far as the parents are concerned. I know that there isn’t a retirement plan and they use their children as such. But if her siblings are married and living with their significant others. Why should one guy be responsible for everybody in that family. That doesn’t make any sense to me at all. If you’re gonna deal with a Filipina and accept her culture, she should do the same. American men are not lazy like Filipino man are. We are taught to get out there and work for what we want. I can’t even call a guy a “man” if he has his hands out, begging. I understand people need help from time to time. But my idea of help is, let me know about an available job, possibly a ride to be dropped off. Outside of that, a man has to make his own way. For some odd reason Filipinos don’t grasp that concept. I would love to be with the Filipina & get married, and have kids and spend the rest of my life with her. But not on the implication I have to pay for the rest of my life supplying for her family when they have limbs and a brain to obtain it themselves. Just my opinion.
Yah happened to me and I put up with it way too long
She should get a job and give money to her husband.
I think what often happens with these Western-husband/Eastern-wife marriages, is that the man doesn’t have a strong personality, and therefore has bad luck dating/marrying in his own country. It makes perfect sense for such a man to seek a wife abroad, because women abroad are very motivated by his disproportionate wealth compared to her options at home. So far so good. However, the mistake this guy makes, is he ends up with a woman with a strong personality; because that’s the woman that will aggressively pursue him. In the end, she ends up controlling him and his resources.
Know your personality, and choose your mate accordingly. Don’t be swayed by wide smiles and eager advances, even though that’s seems to be the easiest path in the short term. You will pay for that mistake dearly later on.
As someone once said: if you are not a tiger, don’t choose a tigress for your mate – or she will eat you.
well said
This is good advice however there are too many thirsty, lonely, old desperate men that will simp his life savings away. I have no compassion for those idiots. Be kind, but be wise, gentlemen.
It’s funny: My Korean spouse has NEVER even thought of using me as an ATM “for her parents.” With Koreans, the relationship is “100%-100%” as far as give and take, which means you GET as good as you GIVE. Long story short: It’s better to be in a relationship with a person from a country with a much higher GDP(!) Filipinas or Vietnamese? RUN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
I was married to an asian I brought to U.S. and I nearly went broke buying gas to go to family get together s, big family and every weekend.
Very good advice, which if I heeded earlier would have put both me and my Ph wife in a much better situation
I’ve never heard of this in the U.S.
This is off the subject but do you know these models personally or you just pay them for their photo shoot
I was 52 when I started internet dating in the Philippines, and had heard all of the things you are speaking about. I took that to heart in my decision on the gal I ended up marrying. She was 32 at the time and had worked most of her life…..she wasn’t looking for someone to take care of her, but a partner in life. She never asked me for money, although I was more than happy to help out with her obligations she had to her family. As soon as she could she found work and took on that burden. Now 17 years later I’ve set her up with her own business and have been retired for years. Life’s Good!! The thing is, if you’re going to find someone you can spend your life with, don’t jump on the first sweet young thing that comes along…..dime a dozen in the Philippines….Choose wisely….and you’ll never regret it !!
Great. Best regards from Catalonia Spain
You Sir post the BEST Filipina pics !!! I just want to stare at some of those pics for an hour-lol. My Filipinas family never asked me for money except her step brother did one time. He is young and never stayed at a job very long and spent money foolishly. He decided one day he wanted to be a bike mechanic and made my girl ask me for money so he could get started. I said No pretty quickly. I explained I do not loan money to my own relatives so why would I loan to him when I have never met him. And from a business perspective, he has no assets or training or certifications for that type of work, so he is very high risk and no one will loan him money. He got mad and made life difficult for her and her daughter for about 3 weeks. She saw him in a different way after that and 2 years later he is friendly and respectful of her and myself. However on a different note I did pay for her mom to have dental work completed. Her tooth had been causing her pain for 2 years and was so far gone they did an extraction. I think it was $10 US. I always make sure she has money for cake or gifts for her parents birthdays and Christmas. Its not much money for these things, its easy to do, and the Appreciation from my Filipina and her family is unbelievable and genuine and such a nice change from what I experience in my home country. Recently she brought cake & ice cream to her sisters place for her fathers birthday and learned it was the only food her parents had that day. Something we see as so simple has so much more meaning for them. Her niece family was flooded out of their house and my girl asked if her and her young son could stay with her. I had to send extra money for food for this extended family and since this girl was pregnant she enjoyed eating! Before her husband got the house ready she had a baby girl and of course my filipina was all about that. Since the sons name us Steven I made the joke of naming her Samantha so she could say “Samantha Steven”, and then explained the show Bewitched to my Filipina and why thats funny. They did name her Samantha and then made me her God-Father. So more money was sent for baby things and even thus girls husband got in the video chat to thank me but they never once asked me fir anything other than a place to stay while they rebuilt. Its not difficult to set bounderies and still be nice. Its called being a real man and establishing a realistic budget.
I don’t disagree with the narrator, but …
if you say no to a Filipina, you will find out if your relationship is solid or not…bc many of them don’t accept no for answer from a foreigner… careful
Great information. Sadly many men are lazy, heck that’s why some go to the Phils,…easy to get a girlfriend or wife. But for those who want to step up and captain their ship in life your advice is what works.
Why would you need to say no if your open from the beginning with all expectations then this issue should not come up. Everyone should know that Filipino culture you take care of family financially that’s just how it is. Everything is paid for there so it’s totally diff then how we do things abroad.
Great advice and it’s relevant when dealing with woman of any nationality or circumstance. A man easily swayed is presumed weak. Once presumed weak, you not only lost the set but the match.
Just give her a monthly allowance. too easy
I remember that a high end research academic salary was 35000 k per month in the Philippines.
If she never denies me the cookie,cooks ,cleans and doesn’t give any drama. Then I don’t mind giving the family $150 a month.
No is also an answer!!! B4 they also succeed so think twice
Awesome buddy your Bating 300 knocking them out the park.i appreciate you taking time out to do these videos it’s very well needed.
Some people don’t know how to say no. It’s an unexplainable weakness. I’ve been here 10 yrs na, and I refuse to get married, I’ve dated a lot of women, most of them have children this is another reason that I won’t get married, I have been put in many “no” situations and I’ve lost many friends, and I won’t give in to anybody, growing up in the streets if the Bronx in the 60s and 70s is my foundation 24 yrs in the Corps keeps me surviving and alive … I didn’t ‘fall’ for the first Filipina I met, she had 2 young sons and, I knew right away that I’d never be #1 in her life.
They are not God’s gift to man and vice versa. I can do ‘bad’ all by myself.
Dont let her Va gina become her savings box
So basically a normal woman. I remember my first marriage to a western woman, I was very young and a pushover, I bought into the typical narrative that you’re suppose to treat your wife like a princess and give her everything she wants. So we were in a shopping mall and walked by some clothes store, and she badly wanted some dress. It was like $250, but the budget that month was tight and I told her no for probably the first time in the relationship. I didn’t get emotional, I just told her no and lightly scolded her for being childish and that we needed to pay rent. First she got angry, then she pouted and gave me the silent treatment the rest of the day. The next day after I got home from work she practically jumped me the minute I walked in the door; best sex we ever had. The next 2-3 weeks after that the relationship were perfect bliss, the absolute best period of our entire marriage. At the time I was too young and stupid to realize what was going on, but now being a much older man I realized it was because I told her no; I was firm and unyielding, not emotional; just rationale. I set a boundary. It wasn’t that I just told her no, but that the reasoning was fair, that I was doing what was best for us as a family., and it brought harmony to the marriage. I often wonder if I had known then what I know now whether I’d have been able to salvage that marriage.
You nailed it on the spot. The research and patience you use (effort).. in selecting and going for a woman of character and good upbringing is precisely the thing to do. .
This makes all the difference in the relationship.
She has to be teachable as well. In order to teach her good money handling principles.
Within the dynamic of the relationship she has to have a respect in you. If not you can’t proceed with her.
Find another. Have an abundance mindset..
Move forward. Attraction building trust and admiration to respect.. Clear communication setting the goals before her always leading.
Repeat … repeat.. she has to be good soil to plant and cultivate..
Filipina nurse wanted.
Thanks for eye opening advice. One question. My Filipina had a father that she never met in her life until after we started dating. He was really handsome except that he had about 4 teeth, and had fathered 14 children with I don’t know how many women. He recently passed away and she and her 4 siblings had a miserable time at their father’s funeral. So I wondered if you have any comment about a Fiilapina whose relationship with her father was a total mess,
This should be a conversation before marriage
Buy food and let them spend their money other needs always put litmus test on things
If I find myself in a committed relationship with a Filipina, I would give her a set amount of money every month.
She can disburse it to family as she sees fit, and set some of it aside for her families emergencies.
It would be a good way to see how she manages money.
The problem is not solved giving a lump sum every month, that would be fine if they knew how to manage money, but women especially from a poor family do not know how to manage money. Money’s gone for the month in 5 days, then what?
Great advice! When getting involved with a Filipina learn as much as possible about the whole family. Don’t settle for a low value woman who is a headache along with her family. It’s much better to walk away and avoid the problems. There are many more women out there to meet.
This is great information, thanks. I have a question though.
My Filipina’s father died when she was seven, she’s 39 now. She’s grown up in a very matriarchal family, with sisters and many female cousins. I have visited many times and I’ll be moving out to be with her next year. She has a son but he’s nearly seventeen, so is largely independent.
My issue isn’t transferring the father figure to a husband as you put it, it’s transferring mothering tendencies. I really like how she looks after me and is so attentive but sometimes it’s all a bit too full-on.
I know she does all these things because she wants to, however I don’t know how to explain that it’s smothering me. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or be in a situation where she stops doing any of the things she does completely.
Ok be man I get it I am amazed at how many people need it. You’re a father figure.
You are wise beyond your years. Your videos remind me of things I knew, but forgot and have not thought about for years, and the logic is refreshing. Keep providing content on these basics and stay well.
Filipinos will never understand your logic of why one need is ok to spend money on and another is not, all you will have is long term resentment. A set budget is better for filipinas, I promise you. You will find out a few years later reekay… In Philippines, give a set monthly budget and stick to it, the family got by before you got there and they will be fine without your money now, you are the easiest answer to all problems there. A set monthly budget solves the problem, they understand that much better, there’s this much money, no more money until next month, they get that and will find another way or work towards a goal. If you follow your plan, paying for one thing and not another, or for one relatives problems and not another, you will cause resentment from her family, one faction against the other and there will be much pressure applied to your girl. Maybe you won’t see it today, or this year, but I promise it’s happening and you will find out soon enough when it comes to a head. In your plan they will figure out oh, this kind of need he will pay for, guess what? Like medical, school or buying rice, that need will come up over and over again, it’s become a winning strategy for them and it’s just assumed in their mind you are now paying for those things. Set budget and stick to it guys…
Outstanding advice Reekay, I’ve made this mistake in the past (in the USA) with predictable outcomes.
Very well put and your reasoning is just so much better than other sites. I’ve not been there yet but tried a couple LDR’s (never again lol) but i stated to the Filipina from start i will be sticking to a strict monthly budget to make my savings last and to cover emergencies till the end of my days. If we are able to help her family within that budget then i will be ok with it otherwise it’s a no and no large loans either .They were quite happy and saw the sense to it as we have all heard of guys going broke and having to go back to home.country.
If you give the average Pinay 1 to 2 hundred dollars the problem is NOT solved. The money simply will be gone in a day or two (shopee, lazada, cravings, etc.) and she will still need her bras, shoes and any other necessity. So now you’re still getting all of that and you are 1 to 2 hundred down right of the bat. I do agree with the say-no policy. If you don’t say no frequently enough the word leaves your vocabulary, your money will soon follow and you loose all control. Endure the Tampo and stay in control.
This is such a nice and respectful video..love it!
For this photo montage, Reekay must have instructed his AI generator: “Bigger boobs, please.”
No boundaries then say goodbye to your money. The family survived before the expat so no reason why they need support.