So What’s The Big Deal About Filipinas?

What’s The Big Deal About FilipinasI suppose no other issue strikes closer to one’s personal life when adjusting to another culture like that of inter-personal relationships; ie – meeting women here in the Philippines.  It’s a classic clash of East meets West so consider this a ‘heads up’ of sorts to you guys who plan to come here and start meeting all these lovely, beautiful Filipina women.  And let me tell you this.. there are a LOT of them.
philippines survival guide advice expats
The Beach Boys pined, “I wish they all could be California Girls..”  I’ve lived in Southern California all my life.  Some of it near the OC, spent time at Newport Beach and later most of my beach time in San Diego at Mission Beach.  Lived mostly in what’s known as the Inland Empire so I was in the center of SoCal.  And yes, It’s true that there are plenty of great looking women from L.A. to San Diego.. more than you could swing a cat at.  But meeting and interacting with American Women has absolutely NOTHING to do with how you interact with Filipinas.  So jot that down in your mental notebook.  We’re talking apples and mangoes here.  They’re both female, but the similarity ends there.

I won’t reiterate the whole dating process, I’ve already covered that in my Single Life article previously in detail.  What I want to cover with you here are some of the things you might be wondering about what it’s like once you’ve taken that flight across the sea to land in this wonderful country of the Philippines.  “Are there really THAT many beautiful women there?”   Short answer is, “Yes.”  They are everywhere.  Take what you know and have seen in your home country and now triple it.  No, quadruple it.  But wait.. there’s more.

In California or any other major city like Dallas, New York, Miami, San Francisco, etc. you may see twenty, thirty ‘hot’ looking women as you go about your daily business.  But believe me, as a person who has spoken with so many, many single men and women.. the whole ‘dating scene’ is a convoluted and frustrating game.  Who’s a ‘player’?  Who’s ‘on-the-level’?  The first obstacle is breaking the ice.  Then those first dates, if it even goes past the initial meet-up at Starbucks.  In western countries, websites like Plenty of Fish, Match, Soulmates, 100 specific versions of ‘Something’-Singles and even Craigslist have been acting as a medium to help people get past the suburban culture we have in the West all to locate and isolate one possible woman who might be a great match.

No need for all that here in the Philippines.  Yah, there are sites like Filipina Cupid, Cebuanas, Pure Filipina and all that.. but, trust me.. once you’re here you don’t need any of that.  Unless you want the convenience factor but then you have to deal with a high number of scammers who are just looking for money.  In regards to meeting Filipinas specifically Online, there’s an article devoted to that here.   

Why are there so many unattached, beautiful women in the Philippines?”, you may ask.  Well, I checked with a governmental statistics site and it has nothing to do with the ratio of men-to-women.  The split is pretty even, 50-50.  No, it has to do with a couple other factors.  For one thing, foreigners are viewed as more desirable, so you’ve got that going for you right off the bat.  For another thing, the unemployment rate here has hit male-oriented jobs the hardest leaving many Filipino men without work.  As I walk through any given part of the island I notice that almost 70% of the jobs held inside the large stores and malls are held by young, attractive, mostly single women under the age of 30.  The managers of these businesses know these lovelies are what brings in the male customers.  Meanwhile the only jobs I’ve seen dominated by men here have been in construction and transportation such as Jeepneys, trikes and motorcycles.   Even so these jobs do not offer the long-term security that most foreigners take for granted such as social security, pensions or medical benefits for a family.  Many of the males are also tied into the rural life, out in the provinces.  That’s a somewhat basic, difficult lifestyle that most Filipinas would rather move away from if they can, given the chance.  

Why is this dynamic in play?  Why are foreigners the more desired option to a Filipina?  It comes down to a common factor that all women take into account when choosing a lifelong mate.  And that factor is Security.  All women want security.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  I’ll repeat, there is nothing wrong in a woman wanting a mate/husband who is financially secure.  She is already thinking about babies, having a family that will have needs for food, clothing, housing in the future.  So it makes so much sense for a woman to find the most financially stable man she can have.

Women also want emotional security.  They want a man who will be there, in love with them and not out cheating on her behind her back.  Time and experience has brought today’s Filipina to a certain conclusion about men and it is this;  “Younger men are less financially stable and more likely to cheat.  Older men are more financially stable and less likely to cheat.”  So now you can begin to see why an older, expat bachelor arriving the Philippines is such a hot commodity.  Sure, the younger Filipino men are very handsome and many aspiring to careers or in college.  But far more of those young Filipinos are struggling to make ends meet.

In regard to fidelity, Filipinas prefer an older expat over a younger one as a husband.  Too many other Filipinas they know have been burned by young expats under 39 who have gotten what they wanted and moved on a day later.  What they want is the situation their friends have who are married to an older man who loves them and is home every night.

Are Filipina women really all that beautiful?  That’s a subjective question and each person has their own idea of what makes for a ‘beautiful’ woman.  However there are some things to consider which do give Filipina women an edge in this category.  One is genetics.   The Philippine country is a mixed blend of AsianWhat’s The Big Deal About Filipinas, Spanish and Middle-Eastern heritage that goes back over several hundred years.  In my opinion (and that of many other men I’ve chatted with online) the result of soft Asian features, petite bodies combined with the Latin traits and passion all work together to result in many, many beautiful Filipinas.  Beauty is subjective, I’ll grant you that.  But here, you can’t walk a city block without seeing several of the most attractive women you’ve ever seen.  Some of them.. oh-my-goodness.  It’s all you can do to just stay calm and act normal.  They are THAT beautiful.  They’re all on their way to or from work, dressed very nicely and very snappy dressers when not in their work attire.  Here most companies REQUIRE they wear short mini-skirts and look as neat and presentable as possible.  You will have your abundant choice between women who are ‘Cute’, ‘Lovely’, ‘Beautiful’ or a combination of all three.  Add to that their shy, demure, sweet personalities and you don’t need an online website to find your future soulmate once you get here.  

But it’s not all outward appearance.  That’s the amazing part.  These are not ‘stuck-up’, “I know I look good“-attitude type women that I usually encounter in the West.  The Catholic culture is strong here and women are taught from childhood that they are to be conservative, faithful, loving and adoring of the man in their life.  The Philippines is changing slowly away from this as the internet becomes more and more available even in the remote provinces.  But overall women here in the Philippines still seek a steady family life of their own.  Statistically, a percentage have turned their back on the ‘old ways’ and are total man-sharks.  

Beautiful inside and out, what more could a man ask for?  How about this:  Your age and appearance is not their first concern.  As I mentioned before, it comes down to security.  Women anywhere want security, love and affection from their man.  If you’re a man of modest means, just getting by on your pension or social security.. your age works in your favor and if you’re a gentleman, you are in-like-Flynn.  This is why they prefer mature men as their first choice even though not all older men are necessarily mature or faithful.

So what’s the problem?  Again, differences in culture.  Which is fine, don’t get me wrong.  But you need to know what’s-what before you arrive and start charging around like a bull in a china shop interacting with them the way you did with Western or European women.  Here you need to pay closer attention to the nuances of ‘courting’.  Getting to know a GOOD Filipina woman is a process.  Take your time.  Get to know her first.  When you are dating a Filipina, if you have any reservations about it going into a serious relationship, you better let her know soon or you will find yourself neck-deep in a river flowing quickly towards marriage.  So it is imperative you make your intentions clear and what sort of time frame you are willing to work with.

Now, when speaking of ‘good, decent’ Filipina women.. they are a somewhat shy and conservative type of woman.  Not so in Angeles City which is pretty much a, how do you say.. flesh-trade oriented sort of town.  The decent Filipinas will not initiate breaking the ice with you.  They will wait until you come to them.  But once “it’s ‘on’”.. it’s “on”.  They are a fervent, passionate, protective and yes.. jealous partner when it comes to love.  Be prepared to be loved, adored and cherished perhaps better than you feel you deserve.  You’ll find a bad apple in any group and every so often some Filipina turns out to be a ‘gold-digger’.  But by and large.. I’ll take the Vegas odds that favor Filipina women as THE choice when looking for a faithful, loving wife that will rock your world.

Now, that can make for (again) some clashes in culture.  I’ll give a good ‘for instance’ from my own personal experience.  In the U.S. I have many female friends.  They aren’t girlfriends, or ex’es.. they are friends who just happen to be female.  Sometimes we meet up for lunch on a random basis or catch a movie.. as friends.  We go ‘dutch’ on the expenses, usually one covers dinner and the other the movie and at the end we go our separate ways home and that’s it.  Here in the Philippines, something as simple as lunch will be taken in a much more serious way.  That whole men/women as friends concept has a whole different twist here.  Here, usually when men/women are friends among Filipinos it is because they are somehow related in some way.  Not just by blood either, because ‘bonding’ as family among non-family is a cultural phenomenon that is very common here.  It’s very common here for Filipinas to refer to a non-relative as their ‘cousin’ or ‘sister’, ‘Auntie’ or ‘Big Brother’. 

A few years ago, while living on Mactan, I met a lovely young Filipina named Steff.  She’s 20 and sweet as can be.  She has two young kids and works two jobs to provide for them.  We got to talking and are now friends.  But knowing what I know about the differences in culture, just to be safe I have let her know (repeatedly) that I already had a girlfriend and that I enjoy knowing her ‘as friends’.  To the point that she knows how long I’ve been with my girlfriend and I have even offered to help her find her own boyfriend online.  If I were not to do that, in this culture the simple act of grabbing a bite to eat on her way to work could very easily be mistaken as a cue to moving on to meet her parents.  I’m not exaggerating here.. that is the usual, implied expectation.  To me, it’s a $6 lunch of noodles ‘n rice.  But to most Filipinas in the smaller cities and especially in the provinces, it’s almost equivalent to taking some girl to Rodeo Drive for dinner on a first date.  

Now, thanks to the Net and the sharing of new ideas into the Philippines.. there are ‘some’ young women, like Steff, who are open-minded to the idea of having a ‘good friend’ with no further expectations involved.  It ‘can’ happen.. BUT, you gotta make clear to them (repeatedly) that you are just-friends or else you’ll be sending the wrong signals.  And that’s how people get hurt.

Some of the Filipina women here enjoy the company of the gay or transgender men because they are usually a lively bunch and (usually) have no sexual expectations from the women.   In being here I’ve seen plenty of single, straight Filipina women.. about a 3% portion of gay/transgender men and a growing population of very young lesbian girls under age 17.  It’s a Catholic culture here so women are expected to be not only ‘straight’ but conservative in their interactions with men.  Even so, alternative lifestyles are accepted here, maybe even more so than in the West on a daily basis.

However, the idea of being ‘just friends‘ with a foreigner is an alien concept here.  Imagine if a beautiful Italian model approached you and said she only wanted sex on a moment’s notice without a relationship.  That’s how ‘odd/strange’ the idea of a ‘rich’ foreigner wanting to be ‘just friends‘ is here to Filipina women.  Dating is courting which leads to marriage.  It’s that defined here so, if ‘just friends‘ is what you’re looking for it will have to be with a Filipina who is ‘progressive/liberal’ in her thinking about relationships.  It ‘could’ happen, but odds are against it.

Now.. for those of you who do NOT want to be just friends, this is GREAT NEWS.  You might have struck out with that incredibly beautiful woman back in your home country several times.  But here.. if you are a gentleman, if you’re respectful yet clear in your intentions.. I am telling you, you’re only real problem is deciding which lovely woman you want to spend your life with.  Don’t get me wrong, Filipina women do have their hoops and hurdles to go through first, that’s in the other article.  And it is possible a Filipina will politely let you know she is not interested.  But.. there are hundreds if not thousands more right in your nearby vicinity to move on to.

And the proof is in the pudding.  Go to any of the large Ex-Pat Newsgroups of men who are now living in the Philippines and 95% of them will tell you they are SO happy with their Filipina wife.  (The 5% complain not only about Filipinas, but everything else under the sun as well.)  And I SEE it.. every day.  Old guys.  Bald guys.  Fat guys.  Any one of these type of guys with the most lovely, young wife at their side out grocery shopping together with wedding rings on.  Now.. you know a guy is happy and content when going grocery shopping with his wife is on his list of fun things to do.  Why?  Because he’s with HER!  She helps him save money.  She dotes on him like a king.  She adores him and most of all.. does not want any other woman to steal him away.  Not a day goes by, honestly, that I don’t see some foreigner with his Filipina wife and him with the most content look on this face.  Like it’s his tenth year collecting on the Lotto.  He’s one lucky guy and he knows it.  Life is good.

As for the married guys who are un-happy, not always but too often it’s because they got married and were NOT ready to settle down.  They set up a home with their wife and kids, and then began a life of cheating on her with other girls in town.  Eventually the wife DOES find out, it doesn’t take long in the PH.  She resents him for his cheating, but stays for the kids and security.  He’s miserable not being the single guy he wants to be.  It’s a mess.  But it’s one he could have avoided by knowing what he wanted in the beginning.

Now that I’ve told you about how wonderful the women here can be and how open they are to meeting foreign, even older (wiser/mature in their cultural eyes) men.. there’s just one thing left to say.  There are truly some good, salt-of-the-earth women.  They are very trusting and in many ways culturally a bit naïve.  Do not dare to play with their hearts.  If all you’re looking for is some superficial fun, hire a professional who isn’t going to get emotionally involved.  Like I mentioned before, ‘Angeles City’.. Google it and you’ll see that if all you want is some Asian-strange there is an entire city practically devoted to giving you exactly that.  But leave the decent Filipinas alone to find a good husband who cares about them.  Whether here or back home, nothing pains or angers me like hearing of someone who has lost their trust or faith in love all because some man burned them to get a quick roll in the sack. 

These are good women here, treat them with respect and you’ll find yourself an amazingly wonderful partner in life to your very last living day.  But if all you’ve got is an itch to scratch for a two-week holiday, much better to go with a non-involved ‘pro’.  Aside from the short-term, some women have made the choice to be a professional ‘mistress’ on a monthly basis.  If you look around, you’ll find what you want, one or the other.  But I’d lay odds there are more ‘good-girls‘ here than bad ones.. and the bad ones have a reputation for being very good at what they do.

I would wish you the ‘best of luck’ finding a wonderful wife here but honestly.. you don’t need luck.  Just show up, get to know the people around you and if you are a decent human being, the people you get to know will begin to introduce you to their sisters, cousins and neighbors.  You’ll have plenty of options.  Your sole problem will be answering the question, “Which one do I want for keeps?”  

Reekay V.
philippines survival guide advice expats

Author: Reekay V.

Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.

Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay


      1. I met my wife here in Canada 31 years ago,and we are still married. It has been pretty good–she would never cheat on me,and has been an amazing mother to my 3 boys. You are so on the money about their culture and expectations,etc. They can be quite naive,but I find it charming. She is really smart and insightful,and very generous. We have had some problems–mostly my fault,but we are still together. I am handsome,and the girls over there are always flirting with me and I do enjoy the attention,much to the chagrin of my wife! I have taken her for granted on occasion,but I do not do that anymore. I am very lucky and I let her know it –I buy her flowers out of the blue,we hold hands all the time,and cuddle on the couch. She is 60,but still loves sex,and always has. All in all,I would not trade her for any white girl,thats for sure!

    1. I had a recent visit in March 2012 and spent a week in Zamboanguita. It was an invitation to go and be hosted by one of students in Montana. Her family was so wonderful to me and I became close to one of her sisters who is a year older.

    1. I blocked him after responding to his post. I’ll erase it later tonight when I do updates. I went to the province for the first time today.. had a great time. Got lots of video/photos so I’ll post those in a few days. All wiped out right now.. need a shower and siesta.

      1. That guy up there, he doesn’t know what he is talking about. I’m glad you blocked him, Henry :-). My husband was married twice before we met but our marriage, according to him, is the happiest and longest marriage he ever had. By the way, we have 35 years age difference and I am not foolish, I finished a degree in civil engineering before I met him.

        1. Yah, erased and blocked him. As I told him, “Only a hateful racist would say the things you say.” Enough about him.

          It’s usually difficult to make general statements about any group of people. But given the cultural and religious upbringing the majority of people have here in the Philippines, it’s no wonder the women are prepared to be awesome wives. I hope to be married in a few years with my g/f and I have zero concerns regarding trust. I trust her to the utmost.

          1. Well, after living in the Phillioines for some time, I have some observations. Firstly, you hardly never see a foreigner with an attractive young Phillipine girl. Yes sure, there is a ” fashionable ” aspect about a foreigner, but it is usually just flirtation. Secondly, over and over, your article sais what all other articles say and you hear every singly day here, at least twenty times. Wife, wife, wife. Where is your wife, do you want to look for a wife? You are given the impression that this is such a reserved society that you need to go through courtship rituals like three hundred years ago making it understood right from the outset that you are miserable in life because you so much want to be married and are looking for that. Then you start to see young attractive girls hooking up with local boys, who mostly look very, very young, like people hook up anywhere else in the world and it starts to dawn upon you that there is hypocracy at play. These difficult rules tend to apply to foreigners only, or at least mostly. What if you are not looking for a wife? I got really, really dispondent after living in a rural community for one year with never any female companionship. Every day twenty times the question, why don’t you want to get married, whilst every afternoon, attractive girls are hooking up with local guys. After 18 months in this country, I am still looking for an example of an attractive girl with a foreigner, I.e, very cute, around 18, pretty with no children. I have spoken to two girls who say that they might be interested in a foreigner but are certainly not looking for a husband as they consider themselves to be too young at 19. Oh what a breath of fresh air it was to hear that. As far as different cultures are concerned, forget any idea that it is Asian! Hey man, Hi Bro, High five dude, Holy Jesus this, that, holly Gaad this , that etc, etc, etc.

            1. not sure what part of the philippines you’re at but, i know so many guys dating or married to young filipinas and only a minority who date or marry an older one. just visit the FB page, “Married To A Filipina” for a list of about 5,000 guys with younger filipina wives.

      2. I think whoever posted that comment about Filipinas was probably a bitter American woman trying to discourage American men from discovering the best women in the world.

        1. A possibility, hadn’t thought of it from that angle. Maybe she lost her husband to one, who is now happy as can be while she’s still bound up with ‘issues’.

          All I know is there are a LOT of happy men I’ve encountered in person and online who count marrying a Filipina as the best decision they ever made.

          1. Yes I too am unbelievably happy with my Filipino wife, and I find most Australian white women hate filipina girls simply because filipina pose a threat to all angry white women the world over, we love filipina women because they treat us as Men and we can finally have our dignity back, I personally have matched 5 mates of mine with filipina girls over the last five years and none of them would ever go back to a white woman, God love all you filipina, and thank you all for restoring our faith in women again

  1. Great writing Henry! I enjoyed reading this very much. Filipina women are beautiful…Thanks for sharing.

    Great writing my friend… Really, enjoy reading.

    Thanks for sharing your adventure with us!


    1. I just call ’em as I see ’em. 🙂 It’s been a wonderful adventure here and I’m glad to share what I see with everyone. Hope to see you here again! 🙂

  2. Most of comments here are exactly right on BUT I have found this to be true so far (and I could be wrong): The eldest DAUGHTER in a Philippine family is EXPECTED to take care of her family when she starts making a little income and the less prosperous they are, the more she is expected to contribute. I met my beautiful gf on line, came here 1 1/2 years ago and hope never to leave. I spent nearly a year researching Phils before I came here and was pretty much aware of this, but the only arguments we ever have are about money even though I give her allowance greater than the income of either of her 2 elder brothers who work somewhat regularly and greater than the average income of most families here in Phils just to do with as she wishes.

    1. I don’t know anything about that one way or the other. In Mexico it’s the opposite.. the youngest daughter is usually the last one out of the house and expected to care for the Mother, who usually outlives her husband statistically. It’s not set in stone, but that’s the trend I saw, having been married to a woman born and raised in Tijuana, Mexico all her life prior to our marriage.

      1. Hmmm… Actually, it’s not just the eldest’s responsibility to support her family. It is everyone’s concern. However, it’s the eldest that takes the responsibility rather seriously.

    2. Jerry,

      That is right! Being the eldest daughter, I share the same burdens.
      It is like the society expects us to contribute MORE to the family being eldest children. It is not the family, but the society itself that does this.

      Arguments about money? I think you need to set things straight to her about money matters, and be extra careful cause she might be just milking you. Tsk. Tsk.

      I know, Filipinas are beautiful and all, but you need to be careful, too. And not be easily dragged away by your emotions.

      And giving allowances to her is really a bad idea…*Sorry*

      A typical Filipina girlfriend would not not not even ask for money from her boyfriend, unless he is the husband, and WILL even hesitate to take it if offered any, but deep inside her, she wants to take it.

      Some Filipinas are raised with this vision, that in order to escape poverty,
      they should marry foreign men so they could get their family escape from poverty.
      They see foreign men, not as men, but money-making machines.

      Yes, there are gold-diggers.

      Sorry, but that is true, that is why they will refuse to marry Filpino men, as they see no good future if they get tied to them.

      But not all!

      1. Very good points to keep in mind. Whether we like it or not, on both ends.. money has something to do with it. The key difference though is.. Is There Love? If there is love, the money does not matter. Any loving husband will share what he has with his wife and help her family. I’ve discussed this burden of older daughters to the family with a friend of mine, and it’s a genuine expectation. Meanwhile, foreigner men have the burden of doing their ‘diligence’ to be sure not only that they love her, but that her love is real in return. No woman wants to be loved solely for her beauty, and no man wants to be loved solely for his money. Me.. I’m a hopeless romantic.. I believe in real love. But finding it means sifting through those who would deceive to get what they want. And that applies to both Filipinas and to Foreign men. Filipinas need to know he is a ‘good man’ and not an abuser who thinks he can ‘own’ a woman with his money. Both parties need to be patient and careful.

        1. Is there Love.? One may only find that out unfortunately trough a tragedy. . Will she be there offering herself for a transfusion to save your life.. in a regular courting treating them like the princess one will never know. Will she be there for you.?.

      2. Yes u are right.. im pilipina… and most of pilipino man is having hard time raising a comportable life for a family and the option is to merried am older forengn man.. u wanna know how to get a filipina that is not a gold digger .. try to get a pilipina that is came from a good family.. at least her parents has to be good busness mans or in politics or goverment officials etc… check if they can merried u.. if they did and fight for u that is something . But the lower class be carefull..

    3. I’m the youngest and only daughter of the family here in Philippines, my brothers always tell me what to do or pass their chores to me, my family expects me to keep everything clean, they blame it on me if its dirty or dusty, they say I have to be the one to do it because I’m a girl…..
      I’m not good with grammars…..

  3. I have had very BAD luck with Filipinas in the sense of lying, and taking taking taking BUT….I had to sit down one night and think it through and as an Expat working abroad my antenna needs to be higher and not ASSUME…. I got what I deserved. As a Black American…yes that does play a part, we are still a novelty and expected to be ex military or an athlete. (I am a teacher). Just be wary as you would be back home but even more. There are women who are absolute gems but any country that has 1/3 of the population working abroad so keep in mind I have noticed Filipinas seem to be the greatest assimilators I have ever seen in my 54 years. They can blend into ANY culture/group or area and pick up the nuances, language amazingly easy yet fall into Tagalog, Illokano in a heartbeat (pick up some of her language…just a hint). Any woman that is in total agreement all the time is questionable and maybe because I do not want a trophy wife or a subserviant one…I would like an equal yet maybe that is a pipe dream. Filipinas, and other Asian woman are very different than what we are used to but I prefer them in so many ways. Good luck guys (and ladies). I have not given up on them..just be wary of the tiny province truly back country ones unless you are the domineering type of must be KING then they are perfect.

    1. Very fair and balanced comments. I agree. In the States, I can’t say I’ve been conned by women as much as I have been by Filipinas.. however, by the same token I can say that I’ve had to wrestle for affection from American women far more than from Filipinas. I keep calling it a ‘ying-yang’ experience.. a give-and-take. But, like you.. I prefer the experiences I’ve had with Filipinas over those I’ve had with women from the States. (My ex-wife excluded, she was raised in Mexico and is a wonderful woman. Still best friends with her.) My theory is that ALL women expect security from a man. Just like all men expect affection/sex from a wife. The difference with Filipinas is that from childhood they have been groomed by both their parents and the Church to give a man exactly what he wants.. love, affection, faithfulness, respect. However, as they mature they quickly realize that such virtues are worth demanding some financial security and they are more likely to find that from a foreigner than a local. While Western women are busy arguing, debating and demanding to get what they want from their man.. Filipinas offer the whole package and know it’s worth. Pretty damn smart if you ask me.

      1. Pretty simple. Filipinas get a better education on how to be a woman, than most western women. (due to feminism) Western men also get a better education on how to be a man considering their demand.

  4. I’m 48, been chatting and skypeing for months with the best women in the world as far I’m concerned, She’s 28 from Cebu city, since my auto wreck in 87, not so mobile,but she keeps telling me age and appearance of no concern,that what a persons internals are all about as long they are true thats all that counts, uploaded a few pic’s to my company’s web-server, I think she’s the a crown jewel, love her with all my heart and soul.

    1. Sounds great. You probably know from my other comments to just “be cautious”. I don’t consider a relationship to really ‘Start’ until time is spent together, in person. Everything else is just communicating, and that’s fine.. but you never really know if it’s all only online. There are men who use women’s photos. There are women with boyfriends or husbands who earn money from foreigners online. All is great for a period and then suddenly, bamm.. some ’emergency’ comes up and they suddenly (seemingly shyly) ask for help. I hope that’s not the case with your girl, just be careful is my general warning to anyone when getting to ‘know’ someone online. Wishing good adventures for you.

      1. Fully, wholeheartedly agree! You just have to be a total moron to think that you will find “The One” for you online before you actually meet her in person. If anything, what if she has halitosis…just saying….

        1. I agree. You only know a person when they can’t “log off” as they get tired, grumpy, angry, etc. Seeing how a person handles stress is a big part of figuring out whether she’s a long-term mate or not. Guys who only want to know; “Is she hot? Does she like me?” are setting themselves up for disaster by jumping into a relationship on just that criteria.

    2. p.s. Just a side-note observation from the photos. Most Filipinas who are willing to love an older foreigner come from the poorer strata of the social ladder here. That’s just how it works. It’s not that the love isn’t real.. it’s just that marrying a ‘rich’ foreigner has far more appeal to a poor girl than it does to an attractive, ‘rich’ Filipina who has plenty of other options. The ‘rich’ Filipina can shoot for an ultra-rich foreigner, or a local Filipino who is a doctor, attorney, in government, etc.

      Looking at her photos.. this is NOT a poor girl. Plenty of clues to that when you look at her hair, jewelry, locations, etc. Also, tattoos are very uncommon among either poor girls or ‘good’ girls here. ALL the Filipinas I’ve met here who are bold enough to get a tattoo are either pretty damn wild or got one as a fashion item as a rich girl.

      I don’t know what background this girl told you she has. But I hope she’s not telling you she’s just a simple girl from the province who makes a few dollars a day working at the mall. That’s just my 2 Pesos.

      1. You definitely got it!

        “Most Filipinas who are willing to love an older foreigner come from the poorer strata of the social ladder here. That’s just how it works.”

        Totally agree. She is from the upper strata, so, these type of girls tend to be picky and would love displaying pictures of gorgeous boyfriends and show them off to friends.

        But, a girl from a poorer strata, will not be picky. Willing to accept anyone, no matter the age, looks, and could definitely accept you, if she has the assurance you would help her out of their current status of living. Like the assurance of marrying you, will surely make her rich. It is like hitting the jackpot.

        *Just please don’t send any money if she ever asks you.

        But I really, really hope yours is an exemption.

        1. The woman I’ve been seeing is absolutely an exception. She doesn’t have a ‘good job’ somewhere, she’s a land-developer and works for herself, and done quite well at it. Honestly, if anyone is ‘marrying Up’, it’s me. ha! I often ask her why she would choose to stay with me now for 3 years when she is constantly getting hit-on by attorneys, political figures, just this week a police inspector.. and what it boils down to is she wants love more than money. Not your typical ‘rich’ Filipina. But, we’re taking it easy and waiting for everything in it’s proper time. Both of us believe that real love can survive time and circumstance.

    3. im sorry to say this but she’s no real woman a transgender 100% sure… try to ask for some ID”s just to make sure. good luck!

      1. Same here. That’s what come first in mind when I saw the pictures.Woah!I hope we are wrong but everything is possible right now,boys can imitate girls. tahaha! 😀

    4. to andrew
      try to investigate more on your girl, it might not be a real girl in my opinion. i have a gut feeling that it is a man, hope i’m wrong. sorry.

      1. Must confess that sadly I was thinking exactly the same thing…..but at the same token the “her” hips do look very feminine and not flat like other “ladyboys” I’ve seen.

  5. “Nothing pains or angers me like hearing of someone who has lost their trust or faith in love all because some man burned them to get a quick roll in the sack.” ; Henry V.; Aww this is nice! so true!

  6. Great perspective’s and good advice Henry but don’t draw the line in the sand so quickly. In fairness to ALL Filipinas, whether they hail from the city or the province, a woman’s promiscuity should not necessarily be considered as a true measure of her character. Some of those so called “pro’s” you mentioned can also make some really wonderful mates. A girl that has gone to work in a bar may simply have no other resources or options available, and by upping her ante, she not only becomes a provider for herself and family, but also increases her odds of catching her man. She’s just angling from the other bank of the river, that’s all. From the very poor to women with college degrees, and without other options, do what they feel they must do. Over the years, I’ve know many men that found their woman in a bar, and they are great wives. The old saying “You can take a woman out of a bar, but you can’t take the bar out of a woman” should be better reserved for the western cultures. Regardless, the bottom line when searching for your Filipina mate, you should first understand the culture and then master in, “Philippine Calculus!”

    1. I would say the Filipina found in a bar who turns out to be a ‘good girl’ and makes a great wife is the exception to the rule. That type of woman is maybe 1 in 100. Just like you can find some gold-digger woman sitting in church, yah.. there are a few girls who might be worthwhile in a bar, strip club or ‘karaoke’ club. But odds are against it. I was speaking with one of them and went out with her for lunch, twice (aside from long conversations in the bar). She works the karaoke bar at night, passes out flyers at the mall by day. 20 years old, has a baby already, father took off (Filipino) and she does what she does to make ends meet. I don’t blame her and she’s a nice enough young lady as well as very cute. But.. even so, not my idea of a ‘keeper’.

      Now.. on the other hand I heard one online ex-pat say he met a woman at a bar with six kids, from different guys.. he married her and had more kids. I’m glad life turned out good for her, and him. But for every ‘success’ story like his I’d bet dollars to donuts that there are 100 stories of guys who made marriage plans with a bar-girl and got gutted like fish.

      My general rule.. whether in the States or here is; no marriage until after dating in-person for a year. To me, making a commitment any sooner is a total shot in the dark.

  7. Hello there Henry. First of all, I would like to thank you for a great website, I’ve read most of the posts here, and am so grateful for all the information I got from you. Unlike other sites, you seem to be balanced in your explanations and stick to the facts, not one sole example of bad experience.

    I’ve met a Filipina a month ago (online), and fell in love immediately. I am 31 (from Europe) and she is 24 (allways telling me I am too young, I can see where that is comeing from haha). At first I was really afraid (I actually planned to pay a private investigator – doh), but now I believe her 100%. Can’t really say why, but there are always 1000 little things why you trust someone, it is not one single reason or anything like that. What helped were constant video chats (few times a day – and she never goes to bars etc), meeting her friends online, sawing her facebook pictures (1500 of them) with her real friends, university etc. She never asked me for $1, and I did sent her some flowers few weeks ago (and the reaction was so sweet and honest).

    About her past, she had a foreign boyfriend a year ago, but he left her for another Filipina. She is still broken about it, and I can feel that – although she is not talking about it much.

    I noticed few things; she is quite jealous, always asking me about my female friends etc. She is very childish sometimes, you know teddy bears and hearts, everything is pink and sometimes she is acting like a 14 years old girl haha. But I found it cute, and I can see in her eyes that she is actually much smarter than that. Little devil.

    Anyways, I am coming to Philippines in 10 days (for the first time) and she agreed to go with me on one island north of Cebu. I know she is risking a lot, but I am too. I just hope that everything works out, because I am really serious about her and not playing any games here. Oh forgot to mention that she is a poor province girl, but moved to Manila because of the university, and I can see some western influences on her, like being crazy about her mobile phone etc…

    Another little problem we have is her English, which is not really good (mine is not perfect either but many times she just doesn’t understand what I am saying). Well, that is something we can work on, if things get more serious.

    Anyways, if you have any advices or want to warn me about something, please be hones, I would really appreciate it. It is a life decision we are talking about here, and I am very very cautious about everything.

    1. It sounds like you’re going to Malapascuas, north of Cebu. I haven’t been there (yet) but have been to a small resort on the northern end of Cebu and enjoyed myself. Malapascuas ‘es muy romantico’.. so you picked a great location for a first meet. As for my two cents, here’s what I have based on dating a Filipina for 3 years (we’re still good friends) and dating lots of other Filipinas in the last few months.

      As far as web-experiences go, you have a lot going for you, or rather.. she does. She’s providing lots of photos, live chat and isn’t asking for money. The red flags are usually.. only a dozen or so photos (stolen from someone’s Facebook page), no chat-video and asking for money. So as far as web-experiences go, it’s looking good. But I still hold to my mantra that it’s the physical time you spend together that determines how well you two know each other. Two weeks is good, but it’s still a ‘honeymoon’, so keep that in mind. It’ll be intoxicating. She sounds like a wonderful girl and, from what you describe.. ‘legit’.

      As to jealousy.. it comes with the territory here. Here, jealousy is part of how a Filipina shows how much she loves you. In the States, it’s a sign of insecurity and us guys hate it. But here.. they equate jealousy with intensity of love. They DO NOT trust other women. Filipinas don’t trust men in general to turn down the next cute Filipina that comes along. In her eyes.. you are a highly valued potential mate for Life and she doesn’t want anyone else stealing you away. Hence, the jealousy and questions about your female friends and her nervousness to let you out of her sight for even an afternoon once you get here. Just try to keep remembering, jealousy is part of love here. That’s just how it is. There is no such thing as a non-jealous Filipina in love. So don’t give her any grief over it, she’s showing she cares. Just reassure her that you know there are lots of other girls.. but your intentions and focus is on HER alone.

      As for warnings, I only have two warnings. First, don’t make any big promises or decisions. Even though you are 100% convinced she’s the girl for you, believe me.. she is not going to disappear or dump you. Resist the urge to get married/engaged while you’re here. If she presses for it, just reassure her you love only her and want to make better arrangements before taking that next step so the two of you can be physically together. Second warning.. most of her family will be totally cool and genuinely welcome to have you with them. But in every family there is that one scammer, thief that just can’t be trusted. So.. don’t go loaning out any money to her relatives. If you want her parents to have something, buy it and give it to them.. don’t just hand the Mom or Dad cash. You don’t know if either has a gambling or drinking problem and nobody is going to mention it while you’re here. So, IF you feel the need to make their life nicer with a gift.. give the gift, not cash.

      Other than that, the rest is common sense. Don’t flirt with other women, don’t stare at other women. If she catches you ‘looking’, don’t deny it. Just say, “There are a lot of pretty women here, but you’re the one I want to spend my time with.” Which, I’m guessing, is the truth. Be flexible, treat her with respect and the rest should fall into place naturally. As for language, keep it simple. Just keep these things in mind, I’m sure you two will figure out the rest if you’re meant for each other. Talk about how many kids she wants. Whether she wants to go to college. Does she intend to stay in Philippines? Does she want to live in your country. You only have 2 weeks so, include some ‘meat’ in your conversations as well as all the romantic fun you’ll have. Enjoy and report back when you return or email me by using the ‘Ask Henry’ link at the top of the page. That will send an email to me directly. 🙂

      1. Wow Henry, I don’t know how to thank you enough for your reply!

        Yes, the island in question is Malapascua. She is also happy for us to go there, although, you know Filipinas, they are always afraid of beaches and getting dark haha. I guess we will stay in restaurants during the day, there is also an Irish Pub there, can you imagine? 😉

        Yes, you are right, she seems legit, but I always have one eye open, I just need to, because this is not a small decision. But my feeling says I am on a good path…I have a lot of experience with relationships and women (2 longer relationships, 4 and 5 years), but of course that is different culture etc…but I do believe that I have an eye for these negative signals.

        Thank you for your words about jealousy haha. It will certainly help so I don’t make a mistake of staring at other girls (although a quick innocent look can happen lol). But seriously, she is so beautiful that I am not interested in any other girl, I don’t want to share pictures here, but she is absolutely gorgeous, definitely no.1 among thousands of them I saw on this dating website.

        Thank you for your warnings. The only promise I made so far is that I won’t break her heart. She already got cheated multiple times by her ex, and I am not that kind of guy. Even if it won’t work, I will be very nice and polite and explain to her why. Maybe she won’t understand, but at least I will try to make it as easy as possible (IF it happens).

        About the money, well that is far future for now, but I was thinking about diving my budget in 3 parts (I do make quite a nice income for my country standards). One third for me, one third for her and one third for life expenses (apartment, food, bills etc). I would tell her that she can do whatever she wants with her third. Sending to her family? Sure go ahead. Shopping? Sure, go ahead. I think that is fair, and I would probably avoid unnecessary discussions about money. Maybe I am wrong, but this idea kind of seems most logical to me.

        Once again, thank you for everything. You don’t even know how helpful you were. I just hope that I feel find my happiness with a Filipina, my heart is open and I have very clear intentions, I just hope that the person from the other side has the same.

        I will definitely email you when I am there, being on laptop is part of my job, and I will have to carry it with me when in Philippines.


    2. Hi Matt! I am married to a Filipina but still live in the U.S. for another 16 months. My wife does not speak perfect English but, I understand her. I joke that I Speak Mhona (her name) fluently! If there is a word she does not know in English she tells me in Tagalog and I look it up online.
      As for the Jealousy, Henry is right. Filipina’s are VERY jealous of other women. Part of why I chose too marry her before I moved to the Philippines is because she was SO worried I would meet another girl. As she put it, ” she worry that I be gone from her.” My wife will not let me go out alone when I am there. She is worried another girl will approach me and try to take me from her. I find this funny she is 26 years old and beautiful and I am 51 years old. That is just her.
      I will tell you to be careful and take your time. My wife was not the first Filipina I met. I met 2 before her.
      The first started raising BIG red flags with me when she started taking me to meet a few of her friends. All of them owned houses paid for by foreign husbands or boyfriends. One of these women was selling her house. My girlfriend wanted me to buy it. Since a foreigner can not own land in the Philippines she would have to own the land. It was a nice house and I gave the owner my email address. She contacted me upon my return to the U.S. and confirmed my suspicion. My girlfriend was trying to use me to get a house. The woman actually told me she had a house but needed a boyfriend to pay for it and wanted to know if I was interested! Haha!
      The second girl I met was actually the cousin of my wife. She was very pretty but she knew it and was very spoiled too. She made the mistake of bringing my now wife out with us. I saw the way she looked at me and as they say the rest is history!
      If you meet the right girl, you will be very happy. They will treat you like a king. They will love you forever. That is why I decided to search for a Filipina to marry in the first place. Just watch out for the few bad apples.
      Oh, be careful of their family. They think all foreigners are rich and will try to hit you up for money. I stayed there for 3 weeks last years and her brothers and sisters would drop in unannounced right around dinner time. I put to and end to that fast and I have a solution to that problem. We are moving away from her family. We are taking her mother with us but, her brothers and sisters are own their own. My wife is not only ok with this but, she thinks it is funny.

  8. One of the confusions I had when I first began discovering the Philippines was between the wildly divergent opinions of “they are the best women in the world” and “be careful – they are mostly scammers.” I asked a friend who has lived in PI for 10 years and has a lovely young wife there. He told me, “80% of the women here are not good.” I was disappointed to hear this, but he continued. “But Dave, that means that 20% are wonderful, honest, loyal and lovely. That’s 20% more than you are going to find where you live!”

    And this is right. A guy does have to be careful. But if he looks carefully and takes his time and learns the lay of the land, there are many wonderful women in the Philippines! I have one now, though I did encounter a few bad ones along the way.

    1. And just to further agree with you.. I’d say that it’s more like 80% are good and 20% are either bad or ladyboys. ha! The bad ones are pretty bad and can really mess up a guy’s bliss here, so they get a lot of attention when talking about women here. But as you said, if a guy is not in a rush.. meets a woman’s family.. spends time with her and honestly looks at the ‘red flags’ if there are any.. so many women here are just amazingly honest, loyal and beautiful with old-school values.

  9. Hi, Henry!

    Thank you for the good things you tell about us, Filipinas.
    Soon I might add up things about us, so at least you get to hear the other side of the story.

    Well, about Angeles City, it is actually a part of my home province, Pampanga,
    I must admit the flesh-trade thing was true, but not like before as we can see it, and don’t ever think that all women coming from there are involved in that. Most of these women are actually coming from the Visayan part of the country, doing that sort of service for foreign men for monetary gains, but you rarely see a Kapampangan woman being involved in that trade.

    Amidst all of that, some foreigners I have seen with those type women, as you have mentioned, Henry, you could see the content look in their eyes, and yeah, they go shopping with them, definitely enjoying.

    Well, I am not promoting the trade, I feel really bad about it, but who are we to judge, anyway.

    So, I hope that cleared things about Angeles City.
    Not that beautiful compared to the barrios here, but still a great city.

    1. Over the years I’ve spoken with several ‘working girls’ who are in the trade. There is another side to it. Some of them hate what they do and were either coerced into it by either financial need or even their own fathers. The want to get out of it but, there they are. Meanwhile other women just see it as a way to make a living. And a profitable one at that if they are working solo, without a pimp. With a pimp, they’ll never get ahead.. he will see to that, making them dependent on him for an allowance from her earnings. Some girls just do the dancing for tips. Some girls are ‘escorts’ and some girls are out there pounding the pavement for their next client. I know two ‘karaoke’ girls who do it (grain of salt here, according to them) to support their babies and ailing father. Could just be a story, and that’s the point.. you never can tell until you get to know them personally. And by that time, a guy is sucked into their problem with them. But I do believe that, even though times are tough here, I know several girls who live within a block of a local cat-house and they continue to look for a Real Job because they refuse to enter the flesh-trade. Which means, many of the girls who are in it.. at some point chose to do so.

      1. Henry, i don’t understand what u write…can we get a video PLEASE ??? dancing girls , solo girls, girls pounding the pavement…I NEED VIDEOS lol

        if u see the same thing in Bohol,please post more videos !!! I need more help in deciding if Bohol is where I will live

        1. Ha! From what I have seen so far, mostly foreigner women (ie; giant Euro Butches) at the tourist areas. But I will be conducting more research once I’m fully embedded there. 🙂

  10. Henry – I agree about the tattoos. It’s an interesting cultural difference. In the Philippines nice girls wear short skirts and short shorts, showing more leg than in the West. But tattoos (other than the henna kind) – not usual.

    As to the middle class girls, I don’t totally agree. I had a middle class gf (though it ended badly) and my buddy has a nurse gf, whose father is quite successful. So it is possible. The bigger obstacle is just numbers. The middle class in PI is small, so your chances of finding a sweet, pretty poorer girl interested in a relationship with a foreigner is just much higher.

    1. Absolutely. Not much of a middle-class here. ‘Working poor’ is probably a better definition. Although when I’m cruising around downtown Cebu in either the SM or Ayala mall.. I see a lot of people in general who seem to have more spending cash and nicer clothes than I do! It’s not just the Koreans.. but Filipinas and Philippine teen kids stopping at the mall food courts after school every day so, there are Filipinos here with money, but percentage-wise.. not a lot. With the province girls, if they have’t been contaminated by either their city girlfriends or Western thinking.. there are some gems I’ve seen along the way that were amazing. Problem for me is I need a woman who doesn’t want children so, that kinda wipes out most girls from my list.

      1. Hi Henry! I was kinda bored for some time and thought I could read some articles online. I was searching about cross-cultural relationships ’till I stumbled upon your site. It’s very insightful and most of it true. Being a Filipina, it disheartens me to always find blogs or sites that describe Filipinas as gold-digger and cheap. It’s so unfair for most foreigners to make that generalizations. Although I admit most Filipinas in online dating sites are like that, but there are still a lot that are real gems when it comes to relationships as you’ve reiterated on your post. I, myself, am currently in a relationship with a foreign guy, and although I’m not the conventional Filipina who is conservative and devout Catholic, I still have such high regards to valuing family ties and monogamy. I’m open-minded and liberated and that’s what my partner really loves about me. I have a reputable profession and job so money is never a factor in our relationship. You’re right in saying that everyone should be smart in choosing their partner, both men and women alike. Whatever race or country a person is from, it all boils down to respect and being honest to yourself what you really want in life.
        Good luck with your writing! God speed 🙂

        1. Glad to hear it’s working out for you. As for me, the whole “no more babies” rule is weeding out pretty much every girl I even think of getting to know. Gonna have to just bide my time til things come together I suppose. But most guys don’t seem to be in my situation and are willing to start a new family with a young wife. Works for everybody if there’s love, that’s the way I look at it. A ‘win-win’ all the way around. But some guys want the wife and the mistress. Some Filipinas want the money and a boyfriend on the side. Always a few bad apples in any bunch. But I still believe that real people still want real-love and a good life. My job is to just point out the pot-holes along the way to save other people some grief. 🙂

  11. I have to say, after spending about a week here, how glad I am for you and this blog. I have been for months gathering much information and yet I have NEVER found anything so insightful and balanced, detailed and intimate as your page here. I’m on all of them including Happier Abroad and STILL yours IMO is the best. More so because I kept looking and looking at your picture to see…well, I’m African American will be 49 this March and have decided to find love in the Philippines. Twenty-Six years ago my Father, after divorcing my Step-mother, took his money from the sale of their home boarded a plane went to the Philippines found a wife 30 years younger brought her back here (never knew and entire family could go insane at once) and they were married HAPPILY for 18 years before he passed in 2003. I was still wanting to get more info on being a BLACK MAN and what the dynamic of that means…if anything. Then I read one of your articles where you actually say Black, White, Hispanic, doesn’t matter and that you were Hispanic Ithink? I was like YES! I didn’t think you were a white guy….totally. lol. I could not tell. 🙂

    When my Dad went, there was no internet and all of that. He passed before I really became interested in doing what he did so I don’t know ALL of the details of his search and ultimate find. All i know was she was marvelous.And they were fantastic together. She was TOTALLY DEVOTED TO HIM and I never saw him happier. He had just had it with American Women. After a few years she learned English, worked two jobs because she wanted to. She was a hard worker and a family type woman although they never had children.

    So I would love if you would share any insight you have on the different races of Americans and how they fare there. I am also online for the first time with Filipino Cupid. What an experience THAT has been. I think I have concluded that the best thing to do is just GO THERE and meet someone. I am also seriously considering moving there to. I actually think I know I will. I have a thriving music business online which is expanding and I really want to know about the internet because everything I do can be done from that angle with me coming to the states once a month or bi-monthly. Anyway I know this is long, just thank you for this. I come every evening and I will until I come for my visit to CEBU this summer. Hope to read more about the few things I brought up.

    Israel M.

    1. Hi Israel, I’m so glad you’ve chosen to take some action on finding the love of your life. As you’ve probably noticed from my articles, even though the vast majority of ladies here are totally awesome, old-school, faithful women.. the internet has bred a more contemporary group of Filipinas who you gotta be careful to watch out for. But all in all.. if you take the time to date for a year with a woman, you’ll weed out the bad ones ’cause they don’t stick around. The good ones are consistent over time. I’m moving to Bohol but I will be in Cebu on a regular basis so let me know when you arrive and we can meet up for a beer. I’ll be glad to answer any questions you have or show you how to get around this place. So much to see and do.

      p.s. On the online dating sites, is totally Free for both them and you, to communicate with no fees at all. Even so, you’ll get more out of it by using it once you get here, but check it out. When you’re here, you can actually contact a girl, get her number and meet for dinner all in the same day. They MUCH prefer to speak with foreigners who are ALREADY in the Philippines. They know that a lot of guys overseas will never get around to coming and are just fishing for naked chat or chatting out of boredom. But when you put on your profile that you are already living in the Philippines.. take your vitamins ’cause the floodgates will open and you’ll have more dates than you know what to do with.

    2. You work in the music business? That is cool, I hope my future profession will be in sound production.

  12. Wow Henry that sounds marvelous. Yes, absolutely I will keep in contact. I’m sitting here now going thru the site from beginning to start. It really is the best thing I have found and the information addresses real concerns and questions. Yes I am EX-cited to the MAX! Just finished reading an article about more and more people leaving US over tax-issues. People all over for many reasons are leaving the states. Its amazing. Anyway thanks again for the invite when I get to CEBU. I look forward to it.

    Israel M.

  13. I’m sure glad I found this blog. Perhaps I can help someone with my story. I met a filipina on line 11 months ago & I believe God finally shined on me by putting her in my path. I had been cyber dating about 6 years & somehow her dating site got linked to mine. I was not looking for a filipina & knew virtually nothing about the Philippines. I saw her profile pictures & instantly decided she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen (I’ve had 3 wives & too many GF’s, some of which were shockingly beautiful, so at least in my opinion I’m not exaggerating). I read the few short statements on her profile & knew by what she said and how she expressed herself that she was sincere. She was working in the middle east & lived in the Philippines, she hoped to go home in 9 months, she was 41, I was 58. I decided I better forget it, an impossible situation, I needed to find someone nearby. I don’t remember if it was hours or maybe a day but she occupied my every thought until I had the terrifying realization that if I went back to her profile & it was gone, I’d never find her. I said hello, she said hello. We chatted a lot & 11 days later she texted “I love you”. Insane, right? No, somehow I knew she meant it in the most serious & forever way. With only some pictures & a few days of chatting I was out of my mind in love with her and knew without a doubt it would last forever no matter what. I knew that we would meet in person some day & however it went I was in it forever. I read all I could find about the Philippines and filipinas. I contacted a fiance visa consultant who greatly increased my confidence in knowing this was doable. My wonderful fiance and I skyped nearly everyday for hours at a time and our love 4 each other grew much stronger. We talked about marriage & our future together with an ease that felt so natural and comfortable. We decided that we were engaged less than a month from first contact and I told her if it wasn’t 4 the distance I’d marry her right now, so I considered us husband & wife, she agreed.

    In December we met in Manila. She was even more beautiful in person than on live video. We got along very well. We traveled to her home near Mt. Apo. She owns her own very nice house in a farming barangay. I stayed there for 6 weeks and had to force myself to leave. I was a local celebrity, everyone was very friendly & welcoming to me. People said I was the first foreigner to stay there more than a few hours. Most people there spoke no or very little English yet I made countless new friends. She has many relatives & friends in her community. The men accepted me as one of the family and many of the women asked me to find a husband for them. Despite some minor cultural differences I felt at home there & wish I could have just stayed forever. She is absolutely the most wonderful woman I have ever known.

    Perhaps I just got lucky with my first experience with a filipina but I met many of her friends that seemed to be women any man would be blessed to have as a wife. This relationship we have although like a dream come true in so many important ways does have it’s obstacles. Now that we’ve spent time together it is so much harder for both of us to be in our separate homes alone a half a world apart. I have begun the paperwork process to get her here which is daunting and I highly recommend using a consultant to handle that. I’m waiting for him to send the forms so I can submit them along with all the other required stuff to the US gov’t. Hopefully in 5 months they will open the envelope & approve my application. Then she has to go to Manila for a medical exam, some shots and an interview at the US embassy. Then she can come here & we will be married. Once we are married & she becomes a US citizen we can travel back & forth with much greater ease.

    Some observations of mine that might help other men intending to meet their dream girl: Comfort rooms (read bathroom) can be a bit of a shock to an American. Many people have no indoor bathroom or electricity or air conditioning or window screens. I got 5 shots before I left the US but opted out of the malaria pills because I’d have had to stay out of the sun the entire trip. Despite regular dousings of DEET I did feed lots of mosquitoes so hopefully I did not get malaria. My fiance says there’s been no malaria in her area in her lifetime. It is an agricultural area with lots of rice fields & water. Her parents own a large rice farm yet there did not seem to be much mosquitoes on the farm. We did have lots of them at her house at times. She bought an air conditioner for the bedroom for my comfort. She has no window screens so I tried to buy fiberglass screen to do her whole house but could only find aluminum in the nearest city so I just did the comfort room. There are many things we take for granted here that are hard to find there especially certain foods like milk & cheese. We ate rice 3 meals a day, no matter what else was served rice was included. In private my fiance is very affectionate and attentive, she makes me feel loved, appreciated and adored. With other people around she is not affectionate, no PDA. I mistook this as her being angry or upset with me for some reason. We discussed it at length after I returned home and now I understand her cultural position. I realize now I saw no PDA between any women and men in her barangay. She refuses to argue, when I tried to argue with her she clammed up and retreated to bed which just made me more determined to get my point across until she calmly said “enough hon”. So I went back to what I was doing and stewed awhile until she came for me and explained her refusal to argue. WOW! definitely an adjustment 4 me after dealing with bipolar and various other forms of mentally ill and violent wives and GF’s. If I made a list of positive and negative emotions she’d fill up the positive side and the negative side would be blank. To address the jealousy tendency of filipinas mentioned, mine claims to not be jealous and talks freely with me about my experiences with X’s, often initiating the discussion. She does seem to lose a bit of her normally up beat demeanor when we talk about X’s though. When I would wander away from her house alone to visit her parents or go to the nearby store run by her best friend she would send her niece or nephew out to find me within a few minutes. She claimed it was to keep me safe & from getting lost yet we both know I was perfectly safe there & it was impossible to get lost in her small neighborhood. So as honest to a fault as she is I think she had concerns she won’t admit to about the other friendly women in the area. I assured her she need never worry about anyone coming between us or me ever doing anything inappropriate.

    The most difficult thing for me was to be in a social setting and have no clue what anyone was talking about. There are 4 native languages spoken in her barangay along with a little English. She is fluent in all those and arabic also. It was difficult for her to translate to me as a group of people carried on conversations so I would get frustrated at times. I find it difficult to pick up the language or languages. I know a few words in tagalog but I really need to learn so much more.

    All in all I was very happy there, totally thrilled beyond belief with her. Like I said if I could just go there right now and stay forever I’d be the happiest guy in the world but it’s just not possible at this time. I’d be glad to correspond with anyone planning a trip to the Philippines, there’s much to consider before you go but don’t hesitate, go. The people there, in my experience, are friendly, polite, respectful and accommodating. It’s paradise in so many ways.

    1. Ricardo, thanks for sharing with us your experience! It is very encouraging that you have found the happiness you were looking for.

      Speaking of minor luxuries.. for the first time since I moved here to the PH, it actually got cold enough that I wanted a warm shower. But there is only one water temperature here. So today I filled a basin half-way with ambient water and added more that I boiled on the range and it was like.. the best thing since a massage. ha! Real, hot water shower.. very nice. 🙂

      Maybe if/when I ever settle down, a tankless water-heater will be on my list. But for now, the other 364 days of the year a cool shower is perfect!

      Hope to see you here at the site again.

      1. Thank you Henry for ur warm welcome, this is a great site you have. I’ve been reading through your articles, I wish I would have found you before my trip. I did not realize until now that my fiance felt like she would be viewed as a prostitute if she displayed affection to me in public. We still had some misunderstandings about this until I read your articles today. We talked about it in depth now so there’s no more misunderstanding. Thank you for helping me to work that out with her.

        Funny U should mention showers, my Fiance’s house is only piped 4 cold water which I know is typical in her barangay. Her comfort room has a faucet, a couple of wash tubs and a plastic scoop for bathing so she assisted me with my first shower by dumping a scoop full of cold water over my head. I about went into shock and yelled, it was very cold. Since I live in Alaska I had not had a cold shower since I left Florida over 8 years ago. We had a great laugh over that. She showed me how to use her electric water pitcher to heat water & mix it with the tap water so I could take warm or hot “showers”. The tap water was warm late on sunny afternoons but often cold at other times. I spent a lot of time working up a sweat outside making furniture & on other projects around her house so there were times I appreciated a cold shower.

        I thought about installing a solar hot water system, do U know if that is common there? I had one in Florida and it worked great.

        I think since I spent most of my life in South Florida the environment in the Philippines was not strange to me. The trees, bugs and weather are very similar.

        1. I suppose if you know how to make one yourself, a solar water system would be nice. For hot dishwater, showers. I wouldn’t expect to find any kits at the hardware store though, would have to fashion it together yourself. 🙂

          I’m a very affectionate person with my mate and sometimes I catch myself running my hand up her thigh while she’s driving or giving her a squeeze in the movie theater.. even that is considered a ‘big deal’ here and will get you dirty looks. And the ‘ass-grab’ at the mall, yah.. I have to hold back on that one too. ha! But at home, in private, they make up for it so.. once you get the idea that they are not into PDA, all is well.

          The only place I’ve seen it is at the park, at night and it’s mostly the younger teenage kids. Even then it’s pretty tame stuff. Nothing like me as a teenager with a girl parked out in the the orange groves at midnight. 🙂

          1. hello to all!

            I’m so touched and inspired with all the comments and success stories of a foreign guy who met filipinas.
            I’m a Ladyboy from Philippines and I met a foreign guy from Europe and he’s open minded person. We’ll be meeting this April 2013 to know us better. We met online dating last November 2012 and we talked twice a day before he go to work and when he arrived from work. We exchanged messages and sending cards for some occasions like christmas and valentines , he really appreciate it. A simple thing makes him happy. He likes me and I like him, he loves me and I love him.He’s working in a bank company in europe and I’m a U.S Accounts officer, Registered Nurse , Licensed caregiver and Licensed Massage Therapist in the Philippines. He went here in the Philippines twice already, with himself. he wants to have someone to be with forever. I am looking same as what he’s looking.
            I am praying always that he would be the right guy for me, to stay with and to be with forever. I’ve been in different dating sites since 2008 but some guys are just for play and flirt.
            Only few guys would seriously be with a Ladyboy coz they think that Ladyboys are just toys, but they are wrong. Ladyboys are human and just like a real woman we feel like a woman, act like a woman, act like a woman, think like a woman and dress like a woman.
            So, I am looking forward to meet him and happy to be with him We’ll be traveling around Philippines and around asia being together.
            I hope that those hopeless Ladyboys, I wanna say don’t give up, be strong and always pray.
            There’s someone there waiting for you. Be faithful and be sincere to him if you found him.
            Best of Luck..

            Love Felicity Nicolas

            1. If he is what you want, and you are what he wants.. it’s very likely you will both be happy together. I would only offer the same advice I give to everyone which is.. to keep in mind that you really get to know how a person is by spending physical time together.. and.. don’t rush into any big decisions. 🙂

    2. Sounds a wonderful experience, I hope mine will be also, good luck on your visa application.

    3. Hey Ricardo! I am married to a Filipina but have to live in the U.S. for 16 more months until I retire. part of why I chose to marry my wife before moving there was her insecurity. She was always worried I would meet another girl. Now that we are married it has stopped.
      When I am there, she will not let me go out in public alone. She does not trust other girls. One time, I went for a walk around her neighborhood with her cousin. When I got back, I jokingly said I got 10 other girls phone numbers. She was not at all amused! The jealousy and insecurity is just part of who she is. She has a heart of gold and I have no doubt of her love for me so I can handle those things.

    4. Corrections to the 6:19 PM comment
      Bipolar knows no racial lines…I know of a douchebag Arab man who got “cut” and put in the emergency room by his crazed Filipina wife. Apparently Filipina Wifey (a Muslim convert, 38 yrs. old) didn’t buy into adding more wives to the mix. Her douchebag/hubby (highly educated professional 47 yrs. old) found love with a younger Filipina (23 yrs. old) who was checking out their groceries at the Lu Lu Hypermarket and after going on only two dates decided he “had” to marry her…this is when the Filipina wife broke glass and cut him to pieces. My point…crazy, irrational behavior along with being mentally ill can affect anyone regardless of their ethic origin. PS and by the way douchebags also come in all shapes, sizes and colors

    5. Good information. I have some specific questions if your willing to help. I’m planning a trip to the Philippines possibly at the one of ’16.
      My email ID [email protected].
      Thanks , Mike

  14. WOW! After seeing my post I must apologize for being so lengthy. I do hope it encourages those on here that are contemplating a relationship to pursue their dreams.

  15. Yep, I do understand her position on PDA. I was raised in a home where no physical affection was displayed. I had great parents and feel very fortunate that I was brought up properly, no trauma, no abuse of any kind and I always felt my parents loved me although such words were not exchanged. Displays of affection were foreign to me and made me feel uncomfortable even to see PDA by others. Then around the age of thirty I had an Italian girlfriend. Her family was very affectionate, every visit began and ended with hugs and kisses by the many women in her family, I graciously succumbed to the onslaught and kissed my apprehension goodbye. Since then I have been the publicly affectionate person I desire to be. I crave giving and receiving attention and affection whether in public or private. I do believe in appropriateness in public yet what I believe is acceptable is way beyond what my fiance is comfortable with. So I can look back at my younger years and know just how she feels about it and I accept that. I will try to draw her more toward my openness once she’s in the states though, tactfully and patiently of course. In private she…….well I’ll just leave that private. 😉

  16. Id like to say thank you with this article, now it would be a big help to explain why most young filipina were looking for security and this also explain why and how should filipina be treated well and given the chance to meet the right one.

  17. Sorry for previous comments about Pinay woman. I just hate to see so many pinay ladies getting hurt by kano men. In truth pinoy woman are the best. I’m married to one and will celebrate our 5th year Ann. this year. I know some pinay ladies who’ve been hurt by kanos and other nations. I made untrue comments to make men who just want sex to go somewere else. Even on the news eh other day a kano was arrested for having a 16yr old girlfriend in Manila. People who are married or have been to the Philippines to meet there fiance know the truth. But wam bam thank you mame fellas need to hear its dangerous and the woman are bad. SO THEY DON’T GO and ruin it for the rest of us !!!!!!

    1. Ronin, I agree.. there are that percentage of foreigners who come here and either (a) abuse the the ‘good girls’ or (b) act like a selfish, complaining baby. Either one makes the rest of us look bad. I saw some loudmouth Euro guy running his mouth complaining about having to wait for a taxi a few weeks ago. I really felt like smacking some sense into him. As if waiting for a taxi wouldn’t happen in any other country, he starts bitching about the Philippines. Well, if he doesn’t like it here.. the airport is open 24 hours a day so he can get a flight out.

  18. Hi Henry, I’m in the US and have been looking for a Filipina woman online for 7-8 years, I’ve become very good at picking up on the scams. I think I have found the one for me, we have been talking, text/skipe video chat for the past 18 months. For the past 12 months every day. She is amazing and has never asked for money or how much I make, her dream is finding true love like my own. We have so much in common and we are both going crazy to meet. I will be visiting her in Cebu (Lapu-Lapu City) the first two weeks of June.We have talked of maybe going to bohol for a few days. It’s a good thing you are doing here and i enjoyed reading the different views and experiences.

    1. That is so awesome, and I admire your patience! You save yourself a lot of grief and in the end will have a wonderful partner in life you took the time to get to know. Me, I’m still a hopeless romantic.. I just believe in using brains as well as heart when finding the right mate. Glad to hear things are going well, keep me updated. If you come to Bohol perhaps I can rustle up a date and we can meet up with your girl for some dinner.

  19. Hi Henry,I want to tell you my story:

    2 years ago I used a free penpals site for chat with a lot of girls,mostly of them asians. Sudendly, one day one phillipina said me she will come to my country (spain) for work one month (because one of her employers is spanish).Before meet in real we used skype,the first time in the cam something very special was in the air,and when we meet in real was amazing.Now she is working and living in United Emirates with their employers,its complicated because the spanish laws are not nice if you arent rich,with my small salary they dont allow me invite her to spain,and now we must wait to do one of the other two plans for get marry (is long to explain).
    Really mostly of phillipinas are great.I was stupid when I was young and one phillipina,in my city, wanted to made a serious relationship with me and I dont care of her,but I said to myself “I dont fail the next time”,and I dont fail.Still I remember the envy faces of the spanish girls when I was in the underground with my sweet girl hahahah

    Have a good weekend

    1. I wish you all the best in the future. There are many men happy with their Filipina wife. A few bad stories, but they should have exercised some patience to avoid that. Hope to see you here sometime. 🙂

  20. hi im a filipina 24y.o, graduated in a university and a registered nurse. been reading lots of blogs like this. and im wondering if foreigners can resist not having sex while dating here in philippines with their filipina companion? do foreigners can wait atleast 3 to 6 mos. before being intimate (having sex)? or they cant? just want to know your honest answers regarding this. honestly speaking im hoping that someday i will find my mr.right who will not just use me for one thing (sex), im just afraid and not familiar with this dating techniques. but im interested to try online dating and meeting someone.

    1. Thanks, Riza, for your open and honest question. Well, not all foreigners are the same any more than all Filipinas are the same. It comes down to dealing with the person in front of you. I will say this though, as I often do here.. a ‘real’ relationship doesn’t begin until the two spend time together in person, not online. Online is a way to start, to meet. But the real getting to know each other happens in person with time.

      Also, considering all the factors involved, even when American Men date American Women, very few enter a relationship and go more than a few weeks without having sex. These days, that’s just part of the exclusive relationship expectation. If you really, really want a man who is willing to wait 3 to 6 months in a relationship before being intimate, that will be hard to find. Not impossible, just hard. it is the same for many foreigners.. trying to find a Filipina and know her for 3 to 6 months without her either asking for money, or him offering it to her.. that is just as difficult a thing to avoid.

      So, to me, I think that if a man is willing to wait on sex and show interest in YOU, your family and a long-term relationship.. I’d say he’d be willing to wait on sex. But not for more than about 6 weeks, in all honesty. I’m sure he’d be willing to wait to have sex for six months or even a year.. IF he was having sex with other women while waiting. But given all the elements in play with Fil-Am relationships.. finding one who will wait 3-6 months is going to be a tough search. Unless he’s extremely religious, then maybe he’ll wait until marriage. That’s the only exception to “men in general” I can even think of.

      1. Hi Henry, thanks a lot for your answer, it will be very helpful. Now its more clear to me. maybe thats just how love is, its also about taking risk. and if i found that one special man, i would never ask for anything except for his sincere love. i dont want a foreign guy bcos of his money or anything i just find them more attractive, more sincere and more of a gentlemen, than fiipino men. idk filipino men tends to be unfaithful most of the time. but not all filipino men ofcourse. that just an opinion.
        anyways, thanks again. Take care and Godbless 🙂

        1. It sounds to me as if you have your priorities straight and, with a bit of patience, you will find the right man for you. Not all Foreigners meeting Filipinas are looking for marriage ‘right now’, so just sort them out until you find the right one. 🙂

        2. I’d like to chime in here, regarding Western men’s sexual expectations. It’s not that we are hopelessly driven to have sex — it’s just our custom to have sex with a woman if we’ve known her (and dated her) for some time. That’s because it’s HER custom, too.

          The Sexual Revolution of the 1960’s, driven by the availability of birth control pills, allowed women to choose to have sex without worrying about unwanted pregnancy. Those women decided that sex, outside of a committed, monogamous relationship was a good thing.

          Therefore, you might find that a foreigner who wants healthy sexual encounters shouldn’t be someone you automatically “screen out”. Take the measure of his character as a whole. Then decide if he’s your type. I guarantee you, a man of good character won’t stray from you, if he gets his sexual needs met within a committed, monogamous relationship. This is especially true if he’s mature. That’s because we mature men don’t want the drama (and stress) of managing more than one woman at a time.

          We’re tired! 🙂

          1. Yah, at some point we get tired of running amok like a stallion in the fields. The smart ones, anyway, eventually commit to one woman for the long-term and call it a day.. enjoying a deeper relationship.

  21. I hope the cool aid you're drinking tastes really good, and I hope you don't get robbed again, but most likely you will be robbed and you will be killed and you will have all your money taken from you by a Filipina with a thousand times your level of intellect. But I wish you luck in your adventure because you're going to need it. And if you ever want to come back to civilization we'll still be here for you, but most likely you won't be able to come back, you'll lose all your money and be stuck in the Philippines like everyone else and then you'll have to keep telling people how great the Philippines is so that you can make enough money to survive there, same old story over and over again. Oh well, everyone has to learn their own lesson's in this life. By the way Henry, today I'm going to eat a Carne Asada burrito and a couple of fish tacos for you, I know you must miss them really bad by now 🙂

    1. Apparently there's a LOT you're missing. If you'd read other articles I've done here, you would have seen I've done a lot to warn guys of the pitfalls of.. well, making the same mistakes YOU obviously made when you got scammed by a Filipina for $15,000. Me, I got mugged by 3 guys and got all my stuff back and left one of them clutching his ball-sack. You, you got taken by 98-pound girl so.. go run the math on that.

      You're obviously full of hatred toward Filipinas, and the whole Philippine nation all because YOU lacked the good sense to take things slowly. You made the mistake of handing out cash to someone you really didn't know because.. let me guess, she was giving you good sex. Classic rookie mistake and you fell for it. Now, you want to 'educate' me? I'm here a year, having the time of my life, the one time a chick scammed me over a motorcycle I got ALL my money back. You.. you lost your money and got nothing but bitterness as a souvenir.

      Maybe if you'd take the time to educate yourself before charging into the PH thinking you had this placed wired you wouldn't have been suckered so easily. Me.. I'm gonna keep on enjoying the beaches, the women, the food and the lifestyle while you go caressing your wounds back home talking crap about the Philippines and how badly you got your ass beat by a little girl.

  22. By the way Henry, I got ripped off for well over $15,000 by a Filipina, who lied more than any other human being I've ever met before, so much so in my opinion she should be executed for her lies. I have other Filipinas working for me over there, and one of them admits to me that at least 70% of all the Filipinas there are scammers. The whole entire culture both men and women are liars and scammers and con artists. They are friendly and smile because they have to, not because they are happy or friendly to begin with. You may think you being mugged was just an unlucky thing that happened to you but it wasn't, it happens to most all people, and the level of increase in foreigners being killed there is skyrocketing. And as things worsen there and inflation rises and skyrockets as it is the situation there will get much worse as more and more Filipinos realize they can extort foreigners to make money. All of you have drunken the cool aide and don't even realize it. I just hope when you screwed over like there was no tomorrow and you live through it that you have the balls to start warning other men about the Philippines instead of being a cheerleader that you are now, because not only are you going to learn the hardest lesson of your entire life soon but you're also brainwashing other people as well into making the same mistake you've made. So I sincerely hope that when you learn your lesson you try to help other men by warning them of the reality of the situation in the Philippines.

    1. Apparently there's a LOT you're missing. If you'd read other articles I've done here, you would have seen I've done a lot to warn guys of the pitfalls of.. well, making the same mistakes YOU obviously made when you got scammed by a Filipina for $15,000. Me, I got mugged by 3 guys and got all my stuff back and left one of them clutching his ball-sack. You, you got taken by 98-pound girl so.. go run the math on that.

      You're obviously full of hatred toward Filipinas, and the whole Philippine nation all because YOU lacked the good sense to take things slowly. You made the mistake of handing out cash to someone you really didn't know because.. let me guess, she was giving you good sex. Classic rookie mistake and you fell for it. Now, you want to 'educate' me? I'm here a year, having the time of my life, the one time a chick scammed me over a motorcycle I got ALL my money back. You.. you lost your money and got nothing but bitterness as a souvenir.

      Maybe if you'd take the time to educate yourself before charging into the PH thinking you had this placed wired you wouldn't have been suckered so easily. Me.. I'm gonna keep on enjoying the beaches, the women, the food and the lifestyle while you go caressing your wounds back home talking crap about the Philippines and how badly you got your ass beat by a little girl.

  23. There is a Bugs Bunny cartoon at the ending he turns to the audience and says "Oh sure, I know. But aren't they all witches inside.

  24. HI HENRY, I BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR ADVENTURES THRU YOUR WEBSITE . I admire you being able too pick up and leave and move too P.I . I am married too a cebuana for 9 yrs now been too cebu 2x also been to bohol ( really would love too retire there instead of cebu) trying too figure out how to convince my wife to move there instead !

    1. Thanks!.. and I’m sure with time you and your family will make it here. Just do the homework online in the meantime, get all the info you can online. And use the FORUM here to ask questions or meet other expats living here. 🙂

  25. what a douch. its not our fault if some girl lied to you. i think you're a well educated man but giving $15,000 to a complete stranger makes you.. well, very stupid.

    1. Hello…..I totally agree with you Jam…By the way I know a total douche in Abu Dhabi who would do the same thing if he had the chance…He spends his weekends preying on Filipina women at the malls making promises and trying to add them to his harem instead of sending money home to his one and only son who attends college in the USA. I wonder what percentage of men who find luuuuuuuv sweet love and a tax shelters in the Philippines have completely disregarded families, friends and financial obligations?

  26. Wish I could make my guy read this! :)this is very great!

    I am a typical Filipina. I am currently in a relationship with an Aussie guy. I am proud to say that I am his longest lasting gf to date! 🙂 Maybe it is because he find me very unique from the other.

    I am a professional. Thus, I could handle our conversations to different topics. He also loves the idea that I never ask anything from him. I even insist to pay some of our dates. I have introduced him to my parents and friends. I want him to feel comfortable that it is not the visa that I am after for. Btw, i actually have pending application for my PR visa to Oz as a professional.

    With that, I consider this as my best relationship so far. He made me more mature and introduced me to lots of new things. I also love him for making me feel safe. I may not be sure what will happen bout us in the future but I am sure as hell that I am happy that he’s my present.

    We used to go to Angeles before. As I asked him to bring me to a gogo bar. I really insisted as I am very curious. I remember one girl told me that I am very lucky to find a foreign guy serious about me. I responsed with a smile as I don’t know what to answer and we are not actually gf and bf that time. Now I could say that, it is how you portray yourself so you could gain the respect that you deserve.

    1. I think it’s great that you’re open enough to meet him half-way with the cultural differences. That makes a huge difference in two people being able to get along from such different backgrounds. Too often the pain in a Foreigner/Filipina relationship begins with either one of them expecting the other to completely do things THEIR way without reciprocating. But it sounds like you and your Aussie b/f have worked out some good middle-ground to build upon, so I wish you two the best. 🙂

      1. Hi Henry, thanks for your reply. Yeah, indeed. We had big fights but we still managed to handle. He told me before that the we keep each other happy so maybe that’s we are still together. It’s really important to accept one’s differences. It goes that way anyway if you really are into someone.

  27. If you go fishing for crabs, you have to cover your bucket when you have one crab in it, or he'll lift himself out and get away. As soon as you get a second crab in the bucket, you can leave the lid off as long as there are two or more crabs there. If one tries to lift himself up, another crab will do his best to pull him back down. That's why they call them crabs. This fellow may be ignorant, a douche, and a looser, but for sure he is a crab.

    He might not be so well educated either. Cool aid is when the Red Cross helps you after a disaster and you are hungry. They give you food, which is cool. Kool-aid is a drink. Some say it will make you think your life of misery in the rat-race is enjoyable.

    I will venture to say, to predict, Reekay will not die an unnatural death, and even if he's ripped off again, it will not be a loss greater than what he saves on one month's rent over what he would pay in So Cal. Reekay is very intelligent, and very good in dealing with people. He's too smart to try and make the PH be his America, or abuse the Filipino's just because he has income.

    –Indiana Jon,
    and the Temple of Fumes

    1. I ‘thought’ I had street-smarts to a degree before I came here. After all, I lived full-time with ex prostitutes, street people, drug addicts and parolees for 4 years doing ministry work years ago. I’ve heard the scams, lies and seen the deceit up close. (Nothing like befriending a street person, giving them food and friendship for 6 months only to wake up and they stolen all your money.. and your shoes.) So before I came to the PH, I figured I was fairly thick-skinned and savvy.

      Well.. as I often tell my friends back-home, “It’s a whole other world here.” Don’t get me wrong, I love it here and am making it my permanent home. But here, you gotta know the scams BEFORE they happen to avoid them. And that’s why I share my experiences here, both good and bad.. to shorten the learning curve for the new guys. The Philippines is a wonderful, I will almost say ‘magical’ place to enjoy life. But you gotta have one eye on your ‘six’, one hand on your wallet and believe only 10% of what you hear. Especially when it concerns money or ‘love’.

      1. you guys make some really good comment the Best Buy I have ever heard was listen to your gut don’t trust anything it’s too good to be true and to now

  28. Hello all, I have read the majority of these comments and I have an unusual spin on it. First of all being online is dangerous in meeting mates but when you live/work abroad it is normal since here in the UAE most non western people are working 6 days a week 12 hour shifts and basically you must meet them at their jobs which is not always good for them since big brother is always watching. I have meet several Filipinas here and when I have gone there. One of the things I have been surprised at is how at least half of the women I have met went to bed for sex the 1st night we met (two of them we had been chatting online before I got to Phils). This RARE anywhere in the US and yes it takes two to tango but get real most men do not turn down sex.

    I had long prior communications with the 2 (2011 and this past summer) I went to Phils since I connected with them well online/calling/etc and after the fact (I know, I know the dog in me got out, down Rover) I told them this makes me think one of two things; either you truly think that is all that I wanted and I explained the old saying do not put the cart before the horse, or while I am gone this is your method of operation and God only knows who else you will want unprotected sex with (I provided protection but I guess due to their carnal desire or religious convictions, the did not care to use any protection. I told both it makes our relationship soured in my eyes. I am trying to hold on with the one from this summer (both are older 43 since I am 54 and have no interest in little young ladies that I have clothes older than them). They have been from the city and some province so that has not been the issue.

    The one who I truly wish to make a life with from this summer We met online in June and I had already booked a vacation in Cebu so I figured hey give it a try since I was to be there anyway. After we met the 1st night and spent 12 hours together walking, talking (she never asked for one thing and we vibed VERY well) told me straight out “I was horny the moment I saw you in person”. I at least appreciate her honesty but others have said they did not know what came over them, it’s the first time and so on, and so on. To not thrust all the blame on them expats who do come through for sex visits probably play a huge part in developing that mindset making them THINK all of us want that. As a Black man from NY I am telling you yes I was wrong for having sex so quickly but in our world it labels the woman as a loose, whorish type and if it was not you it would of been someone else the next night so never feel that you are special to her. I am doing all I can do to get that thought out of my head since my lady from this summer is willing to come visit me (I am contemplating paying for the tourist visa/airplane. I actually went to her job 3 times while in Cebu and she has a solid job but helps her ELDER siblings out and her one child so I know she has no excess funds). We talk about everything under the sun but my gut still knows there is more to her she is not sharing but then again so am I. My family right off the bat said are you willing to marry so below your education and life level? (I have multiple degrees and she has none) and I said love isn’t measured with diplomas or certificates and we will cross that bridge when we get to it. I have even been told by some Filipinas I know here to watch out….anything will be said to get here than run off but on the other hand I have 2 colleagues happily married and with newborns with their Filipina wives.

    I have my spidey sense up on this one but all being said guys. YES, the country is filled with scammers, deny it all you want some of you, I have heard, met and been around them yet so is your hometowns but you know of them ahead of time. This is a new population for almost all of us so just keep your eyes and EARS open and DO NOT open your wallets out of sympathy because I told my lady “does every Filipina have a sob story” she laughed and said yes we try to outdo each other sometimes. I told her that it only works on the bleeding heart guys and for me it makes me feel like they think expats never have family or job troubles. Like that old tv show “There are a million stories in the Naked City” classic show and line.

    Good luck everyone and trust your gut. There are some wonderful ladies there but the bad ones seem to take center stage, spend time with them NOT money, they were surviving before they met you and will survive after.

    1. Yes that´s the point: They have survived before they met you and they will also survive after.
      And right, there are beautiful, educated and hard working women, maybe widowed, maybe no kids, maybe never have been married before..
      And there are the others..
      To realise all that it takes time,experienceses and sometimes (unfortunately) money what´s blown away..
      But the other side of the coin is: It´s good to made all these experiences, it was good to fall down and got lost some money..because.. are in an good advantage to find what you´re looking for.
      And of course, Love not depends on diplomas or wealth. Better living happy under a tree than unhappy in a big palace.

    2. Is it possible the woman wanted to get pregnant by you so you marry them? I also wouldn’t give money for a sob story, I’m too hard. Do the good girls also give it up so easily?

  29. I was reading through the string on “Whats the big deal ….” and a question came up in my mind. When you have married a Filipina and her family.
    How far is your support of her family supposed to extend – Mother & Father, Sisters & Brothers, Aunts, Uncles & Cousins?
    What is it expected to cover, Food, Health & Medicine, School Fees, or what else?
    I know when I find and marry a Filipina, her Mum & Dad will be looked after, her Sisters & Brothers will be looked after if they still live at home, but I am not sure where to draw the line beyond that. Can anybody make some suggestions?

      1. I agree with Henry’s perspective, the parents are the expected responsibility. Use caution in giving cash though, there is a good chance it won’t go where you intend. Her siblings are likely to make her parents their personal ATM machine if much cash is given to help their lifestyle. Best to build for them and supply goods in person if they are accessible from where you live. Even that can get filtered out to siblings. Money is great, but best if given in person and in secret. If siblings are on the take, parents will know to keep it hidden. They will still pass it on, but in lower amounts depending on their personality. It can be a stress point for the parents, especially if the kids know how much is coming and when, and see the LBC deliverer bringing the payload. Payday for all! 😀

    1. It all depends on what you feel comfortable and able to do. For the mother and father it is expected their children will help them when they get old. It is a true family value kind of thing. This does not mean you need to do this all on your own. they were usually getting something from their other children before you came into the picture, and should still pull their share. For cousins brothers ect. you should not be obliged to do anything for them. And if you do make them a lone when they fall on hard times, do not expect to get any of it back. It is just the way here to ask for a loan and not repay, so if you are expecting payment it is better not to loan anything as it will just cause hard feelings. if you really want to help out a brother or sister who you believe is worthy, it is better to start a small business with them, and remain a partner so that you can watch the books. Something that takes less the $1,500 U S to start. A trike is very good as no matter how bad business is for other things, you know your brother in law can make 500php per day which is more than enough to support your average Philippine family. There are also many other small businesses that you can get into for very little, but would keep your new family member from being at your door weekly thinking you are the golden goose. the best thing to do if you do move here and get married is to move your wife a fair distance from her family at first. If later you feel comfortable with them all, you can always move back closer. But to start, a little distance keeps down the meddling on how to raise your kids, or wanting to borrow to much money.

  30. I have been reading all the comments here and I am glad that they are not at all biased or incriminating to both parties and is the plain truth… and that many of my fellow Filipinas have found the love of their lives… just wish the same will happen to me hehehe xP…I have been chatting for awhile now and so far many of the foreign men I have chatted with are only playing around and only wanted sex not serious at all, well I’m crossing my fingers that someday I’ll find the One for me…to anyone serious who are interested to talk with me u can email me at [email protected]

    1. Most people are using Facebook, if you have an account feel free to add a link here, that way you won’t get spam-mail by posting your email address. (online programs go looking for email addresses online to send junk mail to.)

    2. Good luck to you.
      I think the most important part to find what you´re looking for is that each one should stay “in his truth” and simply tell the truth. Especially the stories about “All foreigners are rich” are 99 % lies.
      It´s the most reason why relations between Pinays and Foreigners get fail here in Germany.There are simply wrong expectations about the true living abroad. Here sa aking bansa ang mga tao nagtrabaho araw araw. The secret point are the money exchange rates. That´s because foreigner seems to be rich and can afford that much in PH. At home most of them working hard for paying the monthly bills.
      Did you know that even in the “rich” Germany since the 1990s many elder people collecting plastic bottles and food from the garbage ? Because much retirements are that small they cannot even pay the rent for there rooms anymore from it. It´s one of the most annoying points there, that people in Pinas don´t want realise such truth. And I talked to many OFW´s also in UAE, in Dubai and Abhu Dhabi working there.
      They`re working 12 hours a day 6 days a week and with a good look they are able to send 5 K PHP monthly parang pamilya doon sa Pilipinas. May totoo. This are about 120 USD or 100 EURO.

      1. Yah, I try to tell Filipinas the reason I’m so happy in the PH is because in the States all I ever did was figure out each day how to make more than $100 a day to ‘get by’. Even so they seem incredulous. They’re convinced it’s easier in the States.

  31. I’m a Filipina but I do not prefer to marry or be with a foreign husband . Only poor pinay girls wants to be married with foreigner as the idea of USA military base in the Philippines brought the idea that foreigners are kind and generous as girls from philippines were treated spoilt financially by the their boyfriends /husband American military as they would categorised their earnings 4 times more than Philippines peso. Yes there are many beautiful pinay on the Philippines including myself 🙂 , i have been courted by many foreigners from uk, Australia, USA but to be honest I do not want to see myself kissing a foreigner . Haha . I’m not racist here . Pinay with rich family do not marry a foreigner this would create chaos in the family, it’s an insult for the family if they do. I work in the Uk now n have my own business here in uk. I have many Male British friends. I’ve dated uk male twice but unexpectedly I discovered that they are not circumcised 🙁 I was gutted coz I fell Inlove with the uk male I’ve dated recently 🙁 this is the reason why I don’t prefer to marry foreigner.

    1. I was called racist when I turned down foreigners (uk males) who wants to date me. Matter of fact it is only my own personal choice . I explained to these guys that I’m not racist at all . I was raised in the Philippines were health and hygiene was very important and also plays important part of being a Christian being circumcised, is there a problem here? No not at all , in the Philippines If men (Filipino) are not circumcised they usually get bullied n call them “supot” not able to bear a child. Forgive me if I hurt others here so sorry. I just have personal preference 🙂 In the Philippines Filipino women smells good even if they come from a rat whole 🙂 , sorry this was told to me by my American male friend, who has resto business in Philippines . Made me laugh when he said this but it’s true . Filipina takes shower 2 times a day, using various antibacterial scented soaps, washes their hair everyday using shampoo n conditioner. After shower , deodorant is used, lotion all over body. They do not shave skin as Filipina are not hairy 🙂 they look after themselves. They remain skinny as most are body conscious.

      1. Sorry Donna,

        You know little facts on circumcision. In fact it is purely a custom, tradition, and has little to do with health. It’s tantamount to saying that, men should shave their hair so that they can maintain a healthy clean head.
        Doesn’t make sense at all. You’re trying to promote and defend something without scientific or medical support.
        Being or not being circumcised has no relevance on healthiness or being able to bear children.
        If you’re a Christian as you say you are, then why were all men created, yes I said created un-circumcised? Can you answer that?
        Being clean, healthy and all the rest depends on the individual. Get yourself informed. Your “logic” smacks of old-wives tales.
        Get the facts. You are sadly, ignorant of them……

      1. Yes I know but I’m Inlove with this uk male. I just wish I could accept his proposal to marry him but I kept thinking if i will do marry him ..will I be happy with my sexual life? Or will I be cheating on him ? Or shall I change my perception on the circum…thing n just close my eyes ? but the thought is still there that he is not. He is caring, honest, responsible and kind .,and hard working and I enjoy conversing with him. He is smart indeed. We share a house together and I do look after him., i cook for him, wash his cloths etc. He lives in 1 room ,,and I have my own room. He really likes me and I like him too personally but I just can’t sleep with him. I would like to marry him but no body contact?? How can I explain to him.

        1. Part of marriage is physical intimacy. If you do not want that with him, she simple answer is, he is not the man for you. His money, his kindness.. any other factor is irrelevant if you don’t desire a full, spousal relationship with this man. My advice is to seek out a man you truly desire in all ways.

      2. I sure love your simple and to the point comment. Its so simple and to the point. If you can’t even imagine kissing another human being who is different (foreigner) where is the conflict? I hate to say it but I grew nauseated by most of those posts. Even after you offered a your perfect simple advice there is still a “but”. Please, people are quick to say they are not racist but when I read stuff like it would be “an insult” to marry someone different, what else can you come up with? You also can’t help thinking those ideas ( if true) rooted in the collective psyche of a certain group of people, has left its mark on her as well. And then that little “dig” with “only poor pinay girls marry foreigners? (Which for me came across as a put down) So what if that is true GOOD FOR THEM ! Along with the other gross statements about circumcision, being a reason not to marry a Brit? Has she checked every last man in the country? Sometimes I wonder if people really think about how they SOUND! You Henry are Mexican (I think) I am Black were both the same age and grew up in Los Angeles; now really….what would we think if we heard a woman say; “I can not IMAGINE kissing a Mexican or I can’t imagine kissing a Black Man? :-/ Anyway maybe I read to much into it and didn’t plan to say this much but your advice would save a lot of space; Maybe the young woman should just go get her Filipino man and let us get back on track with the true topic of this particular blog.

        I have not commented on anything in months because of time. I actually came to comment on the great post I just happened to read on my phone from the guy who found his true love on internet. It was along article but what a great , great article. A very kind article actually, or so I thought. Take care Reekay!

        1. Sorry I don’t want to be rude. I don’t need to check every man here as the evidence shOws 80% are not circ…in Europe n britain N im not going to check the remaining 20 percent. My point here is …not all pinay women wants to be married with a foreigner as you have to consider the difference in culture, tradition, health practice. We are all accustomed into certain beliefs and practices. So therefore those Filipino women who did Marry foreigners are brave, perhaps real love.?

          1. I’m wondering, who is the person who told you that “all pinay women wants to be married with a foreigner”?? I know I never said that. Nobody here has said that. So wouldn’t it be better to make your argument with the person who DID say that? I’ve never even come close to saying that all pinays want to marry a foreigner. So I really don’t know why you’d make an issue of it here.

          2. “I’m not here to argue but as I said its my personal choice. 🙂 God bless!”

            Oh my, I thought you were done? (Chuckle) Anyway, yes….yes, well, it’s OK, I understand. We ALL understand. God Bl…….Uh, on second thought, I’ll leave God out of it. 🙂
            Now back to why Filipin’s are so wonderful……

          3. Donna I see your point about cirum but if a man loved you he can have the operation, why not discuss it with him? I am considering being for my girlfriend.

    2. I don´t understand your story. Why are you in the UK ? And a Filipina from a rich family will never get married with a foreigner…that´s not true. So many people in the Philippines, so many different characters are there…

    3. Why is circumcised so important to you? I’m a UK National, if he loves you he can have it done right, but is it important?

      1. I think circumcised penis looks better than uncircumcised penis. I remember I had this new boyfriend we were having sex for the first time when I see his uncircumcised penis I lost interest; and just told him I am not feeling good I have headache and we have to stop. 😛

  32. Thank you Henry for telling the honest truth. I am 41, and recently married an amazing 28 year old Filipina with a heart of gold. Although we are apart right now due to the US immigration system, we desire to be back together shortly. I can tell you that her family, friends, and relatives (whether blood or not) are the most wonderful people I have ever met. I can tell you that there are at least 10 unbelievably beautiful single women in that group. I am undeserving of the amazing woman that I call my wife, but am beyond blessed and loved. People from my church will never understand how amazing these people truly are, and how they make you feel. The culture is totally different than the US and is so wonderful.

    1. It’s difficult for people ‘back home’ to grasp the experience, especially if they have pre-conceived notions already in place. The important thing is you and your life with your wife. At the end of the day, that’s all it really comes down to. Sounds like you have a wonderful lady on your hands. 🙂

  33. Loved reading this article! It’s very true what you speak about Filipina women! I am Indian and am some what conservative…at least I thought so until now cause I believe I am beginning to want to have a Filipina for a wife! Imagine that!! 10 years ago the very thought wouldn’t even have crossed my mind! All that aside, Filipina women are kind, soft spoken, well mannered, caring, loving, beautiful, pleasing, well dressed, jovial, always smiling, hard working, honest and the list of adjectives just keeps going….they truly are gems of Earth!

    1. These attributes are true.. of many Filipina women. Do spend some time viewing the various videos I’ve done regarding protecting yourself from being taken advantage of by some of the less scrupulous portion of women. It will help safeguard you from those who prey on men seeking a good relationship to separate them from their money. You can view the articles at my channel here;

  34. Oh my, thank you so very much.I do really appreciate this.I wish you more happiness and blessing.

  35. Yup anything for them to get to America and European Countries. They are brought up to act like servants to their man.. They give and give and give. In return they get by coming to the West..

    1. I don’t think it’s all bad, if both are happy. I don’t think she will be happy though, if treated like a servant. Needs to be loved and treated like a wife. Of course that love has to be reciprocal. Love and respect goes a long ways…

  36. Cos their culture teaches them to be yes Sir, yes Sir second class beings. And some men do not like intelligent, independent women!

  37. Now, Sami, Sophie, both of you… surly you must be joking… because most filipinas I know-my wife included, have their own dignity, carry themselves in a well respected way, and are independent thinkers. My wife also gives me unconditional love as I do for her.These women in a lot of cases are well educated – as I know many expats will agree. I really don’t know your level of exposure, and your “names” you post seems to indicate your gender is female but, no matter, it seems you have a low and inaccurate opinion. I hope many points Henry has pointed out in this site will broaden your mind andeducate you further on this subject. Good luck!

  38. It really reveals the true nature of western women when they think that a woman who doesn't cheat, lie, manipulate, who actually shows respect to her spouse and doesn't start useless arguments over nonsense… is "a servant". You western women are so messed up in the head these days, you actually think being a bitch shows that you're "strong and independent" – when in reality it just shows your low value and low class. This is why so many western men, more and more each year, are searching for their wives in Asian countries – not to have a servant, but to have a woman who understands basic respect in a relationship and who doesn't have a laundry list of expectations and demands.

  39. Sami Achter You need to white knight harder than that if you want those strong, independent, liberal arts ladies to drag you around on a leash for the promise of sex.

  40. ugly whites love filipinos thai,and vietnamese because they cant get white girls in their country.secondly,white men need a maid to clean their house and cook for them,raise their kids ,ive seen quite good looking white men married to a filipino women ,he never treated her as human,and he got another white gf outside of the house.tbh,those whites spoilt the reputation of most white men in the world.

    1. That is such an incorrect, over-generalized statement the only word to describe it properly is ‘racism’. It’s hardly fair to characterize all ‘Whites’ or Filipinos or any other group with such blanket statements.

      1. I agree and I think it was a cowardly drive-by shooting, gone back to facebook, where she can be seen sucking on whitey’s face. Not a pretty sight! Racists attacks are always cowardly, either outnumbered, out gunned, or hit and hide/run away. Mostly driven by jealousy, greed, or money.

    2. NOT SO–Rachel, I have noticed that filipinos look after themselves ( great body at 45 years young ) I live in Canada and it is hard to find a lady under 200lbs and has a nasty persona. ( single ones ) Henry has me thinking about buying a air fare. I need more INFO, but I am leaning at booking a flight to the land of UNDER 150lbs and with a pleasant persona.

    3. Beauty is only skin deep. I am married to a filipina and I find her to be physically attractive, but most importantly she is a beautiful person on the inside also. I have been married to an American woman and she looked like a fashion model on the outside, but she was ugly on the inside. She lied, cheated, and was manipulative, and a bully. It had to be her way or no way at all. I have found this to be true with most American woman I have been involved with. My filipina wife and I have an everlasting relationship because we treat eachother with “Mutual Respect” and we trust each other 100% I am not saying that all American woman are bad, but from my personal experience I have to say the good ones are far and few between.

  41. I am a Filipina myself, and highly agree with you. It doesn’t matter if the man I am with is a Filipino or a foreigner though – but yes, we love taking care of our men and treating then like kings, sometimes even babying them, thats how much we spoil them. 🙂 Perhaps feminists in the Western world will frown upon our ways, but we don’t look at things that way. 🙂

    1. Tyaan.. as a Western man from the USA, I can tell you that you are absolutely correct. Western men absolutely love being appreciated for the good things we do and frankly, most American women not only are not appreciative, but are often in an ongoing power struggle to be in control so as to prove their ‘worth’. That creates stress and arguments on a daily basis.

      But by contrast, men find themselves appreciated in the PH and it is such a pleasure that we end up giving Filipinas the respect that American women are constantly fighting for, but don’t deserve. They hate hearing that, but it’s the plain truth. They hate the fact that American men have a choice to find a good relationship while they are left looking for some man to dominate, only to despise him in the end for allowing her to take control of the relationship. Many thanks to all the conservative, loving Filipinas who have proven that Love wins out over Control when it comes to happiness.

  42. Sami Achter What do you mean by your use of the word intelligence in your sentence ?filipinas are the most intelligent beings that i've ever met in my entire life . they have a backbone and they bite back when only needed . They know how to respect and thats what makes them so wonderful .

  43. Hi everyone I just joined here, I am here only for advice and to make friends with members of this forum and learn more about the beautiful Island of the Philippines

  44. Justin Ceneviva: you are sick guy pal.. All you want is to get home, for your servant to serve you food, rub your feet and give you sex in bed without any choice.. men like you should be living in those primitive countries and not civilized places where men and women should have equal rights.. Guys like you make people like me to fight even more for the right and equality of women.. For you slaves are the word.. Idiot..

    1. That´s stupid.Who´s thinking just in the way: woman, sex and the poor people here in the Philippines.
      Oh man, there are thousands reasons more for a living in the Philippines.
      For the most (real) Expats here there were other more important reasons to come here than having women and bed or a servant. A typical prejudication.
      I think in a special way Filipinas are even more emancipated than other women, for instance in Europe.
      Who knows the real life here and the people beyond cities like Angeles, get starting to think in a very different way..
      What Henry did and wrote is the real life. It is true.
      Women and men HAVE equal rights here, and my experience is that women here are even stronger than men.
      Sami Achter, I guess , is one of the people, grown up in the sick and materialistic western system and never has been in the Philippines.I am European, but choose to live in PH. Not because of women or such things.I never thought about such things. I choose to live there because I am the same minimalistic Type like Henry and I want live the same way.
      I love the country and more the mentality of the people.Mahal ko ang Pilipinas.
      Such comments from such people make me even more sure and more hate the materialism and the dogmatic of this countries with its heartless people inside, these money machines.

    2. I find it amazing that so many people will agree that, “love is an action, not just a word”.. and yet, criticize an entire scenario through bitterness and spite when they see happily married couples in the PH who adore and love each other with their actions. Being a loving wife is not the equivalent of being a ‘slave’. Only a bitter, jealous person would make that accusation.

  45. Sami Achter I'm not sure how to respond to what you posted, since everything you've typed has no basis in reality. How many men do you know who married women from east Asia? My guess is zero. You have no experience in this, so all your judgmental and angry talk is really just hot air with no weight behind it.

    You do sound angry, though. I wonder why that is?

  46. weak men who need to dominate women and be the king of their castles..haa (( Most)) of you can’t deal with real women who are your equals. Not much of a challenge there.
    GROW UP AND LOOK BEYOND APPEARANCES>>>>>>>>>> you know the real truth..about how weak you are and don’t kid yourselves…. so do we……

    1. I think it’s easier for many American women to either demonize Filipinas or make personal attacks on American men, rather than face the very obvious and simple fact that American women have painted themselves into a corner with the feminist movement and can no longer compete with the simple, old-fashioned ways of being a loving wife. If it were only about outward appearances, men would be abandoning their Filipina wives the way they do their American ones.

      Instead, men by the tens of thousands move to live, marry and remain in the Philippines because.. they are HAPPILY MARRIED. They’ve tasted what the so-called ‘contemporary woman’ has to offer and found that it just can’t compete with a loving wife. So my farewell to American Women seeking the feministic brass ring is this; “Good luck with wanting Everything and then blaming your husbands for not making the marriage all about You. We’re going to go back to the simple ways of life.. giving love and being appreciated for all we do.”

    2. Kristine you have no clue about Filipino culture do you?
      First, you think I quit my job, sold my house, and moved 8.000 miles away from friends and family so I could get laid easily and be bossy to a woman? You have a pretty pathetic view you have of American men. I would hate to see how you behave in a relationship.
      Henry is right that American women have painted themselves into a corner. They emasculate the men then hate them for being weak. No thanks.
      I am here because the cost of living is cheap enough that I could retire at 48. I have a house that is a 10 minute walk from the beach. I have a wonderful girlfriend. She treats me like a king and I treat her like a queen. We are equals in the relationship. If I mistreat her she would simply leave. Or kick my ass then leave. Or have her brothers and cousins kick my ass. ha ha. You have no clue about the PI’s.
      There are guys, the “sexpats” that come over here ‘just for fun’. But they are vacationers, the minority, and just make the rest of us look bad. The expats are mostly a great bunch of guys. Lot of retired military. Just happy to have some great women, great beaches, and retire young enough to enjoy it all.

  47. to be frank the reason men are turning to Asian women is because they are HOT ,, on my way to work in singapore most women i see are at least a 6-10 in the looks department , when i am back in london most women i see are between 0-3 score in the looks department , and lets face it most western women when looking for a man looks at the size of his wallet 1st then his looks the only difference here is western women cannot compete with asian women in looks or how to make there men feel good .

  48. Sami Achter most men do not like your so called independent women, because they think the whole relationship revolves around them. To find someone you can truly love, and who appreciates you for this and does nice things for you, instead of bitching about leaving the toilet seat up or some other mundane stupid reason to bitch, is just a breath of fresh air. after dealing with you so called independent women all my life, I would never return to date one again in this life. if more men knew there was such a good option, well you figure what would happen.

  49. Rusty Thomas Jennings More and more men are learning about these good options. Heck I'm only 30 and I know men younger than myself who have abandoned American and European women in favor of Thai or Philippine.

  50. Yes once up on a time there was slavery with the black.. Now is with the Far Eastern Women.. Be a man, and do the house work yourself, and yes put the toilet seat down as a form of respect for your woman.. Makes me sick that some guys like you only want a good slave..

  51. You are welcome here, I have lived in Philippines for almost five years and have found them the most friendly, family oriented, faithful people of all the countries i have been to. i would never want to go back to california where I grew up. any advise or insight you might need, feel free to ask.

  52. I believe many western women fell threatened to find many good men leaving their idea of a relationship behind and going somewhere that real family values still exist. My wife is a wonderful woman who is strong but tender. I would never treat her as a slave or any of the other things some insinuate as she is not only my wife but my best friend. And why do women in the states not lift the toilet seat out of respect for their man? I need it up. you need it down, when I need to have a bowel movement, I have never fallen into the bowl because it was down. Seem you could take the smallest of effort to put it down yourself without making a major issue out of something so mundane. It is little things that American girls find to argue over that make them so much less than perfect partner. We have been together for 5 years and have never had a fight over anything. The reason I love my wife so much is the fact that she always makes me laugh, Is always happy, even when there are chores to do, and by the way, she does not need to be my maid, as I have already hired one to help her.

  53. Sami Achter – You just told us the man should do the housework, but earlier you said doing housework was slavery – so why should we be the woman's slave? Oh right because she's "strong and independent" right, and we need to "respect" her by not only supporting her financially but doing her job around the house now, too? lol What you're saying actually makes no sense. We don't want what you're selling kid.. now go feel sick.

  54. Circumcision is a hold over from the Old Testament – the Abrahamic covenant. As civilizations outgrow their dependance on imaginary friends, like gods, they begin to question why are they mutilating children. And circumcision loses popularity because there is no health benefits to it. But the Catholic government has such a strangle hold on the Philippines there will be no changes here for quite some time ha ha.

  55. From a 100% honest, sincere, no axe to grind, experience counselling with several filipina and foreign marriages including a sibling in this situation, no matter what if a filipina is youngest, oldest, in the middle if she is married to a foreigner she will be expected to take all of her family out of poverty, and if they are not in poverty she is still expected to improve their life style to an effect of being equal to her own. And sadly several of the couples that I have counselled with, the filipinas family is never satisfied with what the foreign husband has done for them and some of them have been very generous but its still not good enough and their family wants more. So if you can find one whose parents and siblings are well off or even with you then you should not have much problems.

    1. Yeah we didn’t care just for ourselves but also to all members of our family, so if a Filipina is living in a nice place and a good life she would always think and remember her family; are they fine, are they happy, and are they living in a life same as her.Because we have strong family ties.Guess that’s not a problem when you truly love someone, besides it is your choice to love her and give her the comfort she deserves.

  56. Most filipinas that I know are not really skinny when compared to other southeast asian women, especially when the filipina is already marred to a filipino man or foreigners, they kind of have a pop belly. And some filipina women that I know that work in other southeast asian countries are very jealous and scared of other southeast asian women because from the mouth of some of these filipina women that I know have said the southeast asian women in the southeast asia countries that they work in are more beautiful than filipinas and some have said they are scared that these other southeast asian women will steal their husbands away. You can believe it or not but its up to you.

    1. I’d say no country produces all ‘hot’ women. But the low percentage of heavy women in the PH compared to the US does come into play since most men don’t find heavy women attractive. I’ve seen heavy Filipinas, lots of them. But in any crowd in PH, the number of them is far less than when I walk through a mall in the USA. Singapore has some taller women, but usually a bit ‘thicker’, not as petite, in most cases.

      In the end, each person just has to find the person they are attracted to and have a good relationship with, no matter the size. 🙂

  57. You are spot on Henry! I am an American. I am 54 years old. I married a 50 year old Filipina lady last June. We met online and 9 months later I went to Manila with the sole intention of marrying her. Her parents took ill when she was a teenager and she spent her whole life caring for them. She put her social and dating life on hold to care for her invalid parents until they passed away. If that is not dedication to family I don't know what is. She is the most caring and selfless person I have ever met. She knew my intention was to make her my wife, yet I was not allowed to even kiss her until I said I do. A hug was ok with permission first of course. She is truly a treasure, and I consider myself the most blessed individual on this earth to have her as my wife. After many heartbreaking experiences with selfish, manipulative and unfaithful American Woman, I thought I would never trust another woman ever again. She is truly a breath of sunshine, and I will love and cherish her forever.

  58. I can only speak from my experience but I made it very clear with my girl that she, and her family, did not win the lottery when I arrived. We have been together only one year but there have been very few money requests – and they were right after I got here. I said no and meant it. So they quit asking. Are they mad? Maybe. But I don’t know and don’t care. They have 3 OFW’s. They were fine before I got here – and will be fine without me. If you are spineless and let them use you as a doormat they will never respect you and never be satisfied. A lot depends on the girl. Mine is certainly not a gold digger… or at least a very bad one ha ha! We take wonderful care of each other – and the family takes care of itself!

    1. You’re right.. the precedence has to be set, no matter what our income level is. Helping the parents is, to me, part of any marriage. But anything ‘loaned’ (ie; given, never repaid) to extended family is all on a case-by-case basis. And if the answer is ‘No’, then there’s nothing wrong with that.

  59. Watch out dudes! Once a Filipino woman’s hidden agenda is met, then you will find out who they truly are! They are a bunch of gold diggers and visa scammers! Time will prove everything and you will realize sooner or later! It’s damn hard to trust a Filipina!

    1. That applies to ‘some’ Filipinas, just like it also applies to some visiting Foreigners. Which is why I always strongly encourage both Filipinas and Foreigners to take at least a year, getting to know each other, before making any big decision such as marriage.

  60. Great Article, I have some friend in Philippines and from the Philippines, I have always threatened to go with them back home when they go….. sounds like it would be a life changing event, thanks for the great article and info, my friends are truly good people, now I understand why.

  61. Boredom luckily has brought me here. 🙂 I liked how you explained this issue. Most Filipinas do have great hearts and personality. However, it's the bad ones that steal the show. It's a good thing you clarified it here for people to understand. 🙂

  62. Sami Achter excuse me sir our culture taught us well to be the most respectful and lovable person.Stop hurting us by saying we are slave and a 2ndclass being because we are more than that. If you misinterpret the kindness of some Filipina; first, try to get to know them before you judge. Thanks.

    1. Hi Sami a their now you really made me so pissed off , hey I’m a Filipina and No we weren’t taught by our culture to say “yes sir 3 bags full sir” Filipino in General are respectful thus when complications arises in any situation they become resilient! Coz they respect the idea of peace to remain at all times! They might agree to say yes sir just to shut you off and therefore useless arguments are avoided.women in the Western I.e Europe and. America likes to argue and they love confrontation – leading to divorced -check out ur statistics for divorce record. Filipina are peaceful they go far and beyond to maintain respect within the family. Don’t judge us , you might swallow ur own words ! X

  63. Hi Henry,

    Nice blog, interesting topic too. I stumbled on your blog while searching for an article about what it’s like dating a Filipina – and read through the comments as well.

    Thank you, it is true Filipina women are beautiful because of the symmetry of their faces
    – if we talk about physical beauty I mean.

    I am Filipina – born and raised here. I am not poor, I am also not uber rich. I grew up in the province – raised in a closely knit family but was greatly influenced by the books that I have read so I decided to carve a different path.

    I never thought that I would date a non Filipino. This might because of that “mindset” that Pinays who marry and date foreigners just wanted a way out – especially if the guy is more than 12 years her senior. I really believe that is the motivation – a ticket to a better future. What I do like about the women that I knew who married foreign men who were 12 years their senior – somewhere along the “dating” period they really have developed this love and affection for their partner.

    There’s a previous comment here about classes and their dating preferences. I would like to expound on that.

    Women in their 20’s generally would not date a foreign man unless she is a part of the upper classes or mid upper class. These are the ones who goes to school with sons/daughters of expats or friends of sons and daughters of expats – or the environment they were exposed to. And these women would not date men who are 12 years their senior unless they have deep rooted father issues.

    Women in their 20’s who dates older men – think 40 to 60 year olds, usually have a different motivation other than love. About 95% of them. If she lives in Metro Manila – he would be her ticket to free booze, partying at exclusive clubs or the finer things in life. If she lives in the province – he would be her ticket to a better future. This by the way applies to all age groups. Unless of course the woman is already 50, then I think it really doesn’t matter if she’d be with someone who is 20 years her senior.

    I am 36 – .. I will never date someone who is ten years my senior. That is my personal stand. Although as they say in love age doesn’t matter, but in reality it does. By the time I am in my 50’s – and I marry someone who is more than 12 years my senior , he’d be in his 60’s-70’s and i plan to be with my partner for a long time .. I do not want to be left all alone in my twilight years because I made the mistake of marrying someone who’d probably die years before me.

    In my years of dating Filipino men, there is one single trait that I really do not like – the culture of limiting one’s potential. The inability to fight and take a stand. Or maybe I was just not lucky to date a Pinoy who has an inkling of a strong backbone in their value system. Add to that the “machismo” thing – that it is okay to cheat and lie as long as I go back to the wife at night. That is the trait that is most common in Pinoy men that I do not like. In my corporate life I have yet to know a Filipino man who had never cheated, had been caught cheating to their wives or girlfriends. Again, may I was just not lucky.

    I do not fit the stereotype of a Filipina dating a foreigner. I have a tattoo. I do not have dark brown skin, the guy that I once dated told me I need to be more exposed to the sun! I also do not have long straight hair. Why would I choose to date a non Filipino?

    Three reasons:

    1.) They’re not the clingy.
    2.) They have a different perspective – an open mind set. Well maybe because – a person who explores and travels have a very different mindset compared to those who had not traveled anywhere.
    3.) They treat you like a princess! And what woman doesn’t want to be treated like you are the only woman in the world?

    Well – maybe I was just lucky.

  64. At the age of 37, I’ve spent the past 17 years trying to find myself a wife. Over those 17 years, 15 of them were in cohabiting relationships with western women. I’ve completely given up on them at this point and I feel like I’ve wasted an inordinate amount of time. Oh there was the fiancée that I was with for 8 years who cheated on me twice and broke off the engagement to “experience meaningless relationships”. The Jerry Springer-esque woman who tried to nail me to the wall for child support for her and her *husband’s* kid (no I did not know she was married). The lazy woman who had an excuse or a medical problem for everything including being a hoarder, horrific with money who did absolutely nothing but sleep all day and stay awake all night – and then had the nerve to blame me for everything wrong in our relationship. The first love who left me on a dime to have a chance to sleep with her friend’s boyfriend behind her friend’s back.

    What I have noticed about “modern, liberated” western women is that the expect everything. Any flaw you have is picked at and any flaw in them is somehow your fault. Score is kept in one direction. You can forgive them for an aggregious misdeed or bend over backwards to do something nice for them but you screw up and they keep score on that for keeps and no amount of nice things you do matters because they’ll always dredge up that two year old screw up and fire it back in your face when its they who are caught off in the wrong.

    I have nothing against white women or westernized women, its just that feminism has sold them a bad bill of goods. It is “servitude” to be a stay at home mom, clean the house and raise the kids, and it’s not “womens work” to cook or clean. Unfortunately, cooking, cleaning and child rearing need to be done by someone; we all make dirty laundry and we all need to eat and those dishes don’t get done by themselves. It’s not a heroic accomplishment to do the laundry or clean the house. I have never received a tenth of the praise one of my western girlfriends has expected for doing the laundry, cleaning the kitchen, or making dinner. Yet they are under some impression that I should be kissing their feet because they put away my laundry. Nice… Except that the past 10 times I did it myself and I’m just happy to not have had to do it for once.

    I also find that western women are hideously expensive to keep as girlfriends. My last girlfriend, despite having her own income and never leaving the house, managed to cost me upwards of $900 a month. She wasn’t into Gucci or Coach handbags and she didn’t have a collection of designer clothes. She was supposed to pay the bills only and lived with me for free with her kid and was always behind on everything and a week after she got her money she’d be asking for my bank card for day to day crap like soda pop and cigarettes. Other girlfriends have been annoyed that I didn’t buy them jewelery, or take expensive vacations with them (paying for it of course). I was slated to receive a mid 5 figure bonus, and I was contemplating what to do with it, I was thinking buy a BMW, pay the rent for 2 years in advance, invest some money, etc — my girlfriend had the nerve to say well how about you take me and my daughter to Disneyland – a ten thousand dollar trip which of course she could not contribute a dime towards (I sent her to a local hotel as a treat and I even had to pay her food bill). When I’m already keeping the woman and shelling $900 a month that’s a pretty big ask.

    I have a Filipina girlfriend now. Guess what? First date and every date thereafter save for one where I insisted on treating her, she has insisted on paying half the bill. If I so much as buy her flowers she is very concerned as she doesn’t want me to spend too much money on her. She sleeps over at my house, and in the time it takes me to make coffee in the morning she opens the door to my bedroom and she has not only made the bed, but cleaned the whole room and when I profusely thank her and insist that she didn’t have to do that she downplays it and says only that she helped to mess it up so its only fair that she cleans it. Instead of bitching and moaning about how hard her life is she works at times 120 hours a week (yes that’s not a typo) and instead of complaining about how hard she works she has a sunny disposition and a smile that makes the sun look dim. I don’t have to beg for a BJ when she is on her period she just does it. I can have sex with her nighttime and the morning after without protest or her making demands. Just having her in my company brightens my life.

    So I’m done with Westernized women. I’ve tried miserable, and now I’m happy I’ve found something else. I know that western women could easily turn the ship around and be less annoying, whining, depressing and demanding, it’s just a cultural thing. But they have to take themselves off the pedestal expecting men to deliver everything on a silver platter just because they have a vagina between their legs. Whats worse is the fat western women. Not only are they possessing the annoying, demanding, and miserable traits that most western women unfortunately share when in a relationship, but they don’t take care of themselves either. Coming home to a woman who has a BMI in the obese range who rattles off a list of demands? What a waste of my time, not even nice to be seen in public with let alone live with.

    I’ve had this conversation with quite a few western men. Many of them share my thoughts. There’s just nothing in a marriage with a western woman. She will either turn you into a slave and verbal punching bag (see sitcoms on TV), or she will leave you on a moments notice, take your children and half your assets just because she “isn’t happy”, or both. Even worse after they break up with you they play the victim and cry that they were abused to everyone tarnishing your reputation, or accuse you of abusing your kids. Marrying a western woman just isn’t worth the risk. I know some women will claim that they’d never do that; but inevitably they will. I had an ex who swore she would never do that. What happened? The school heard I was a drunk who yelled at her all the time. The church gave her books on how to get out of an abusive relationship. The CPS told her that she should keep the kid away from me because I was an abusive person. My part in the matter? I was sick of having a house so dirty that if I put my drink down on the table by the next time I picked it up there would be 5 fruit flies swimming in it, and my basement, my garage, and a whole room in my house was filled with clutter that she refused to organize, clean up or throw out. I was at my wits end. So in breaking up with her I ended up being labeled as an abusive drunk in my community. I drank to numb myself from the never ending gong show that became my house.

    Asian and Filipina women however, view marriage as a lifelong commitment. They view time spent with their man as a joy. They don’t just marry a man because it makes for a fun party. They don’t sit there and pick out your flaws like a bloodsport so they can throw it back in your face while they refuse to look in the mirror. They take joy in making you happy, and any man lucky enough to be in this position will gladly take joy in making them happy. That’s what a relationship is supposed to be about, not about constantly trying to please an unpleasable woman.

    If I come across as angry well sorry. I don’t mean to. It’s been 17 years of a complete waste of my time on western women whom I’ve met in all sorts of different situations, different ages, occupations, education levels all from different social circles. And I’ve only had my money taken and my heart broken and reputation tarnished.

    Time for a Filipina to write books for western women to remind them what a relationship is all about. Because the Filipina have a lot to teach and the western women have a lot to learn.

    1. Thanks for your detailed, honest and accurate account of what so many Western men I speak with have gone through. It is AMAZING how consistent the experience has been for men who have tried relationships (not just a quick sexpat trip), but a real relationship with a Filipina. 100% of them lose any interest in the ‘Contemporary Western Woman’ and find themselves with joy for the first time in their lives being loved by a Filipina. It’s startling, yet the reasons are so very apparent.

      In addition to what you mentioned, at the whole core of it is the word, “Control”. In the USA, everything from the media to our culture tells us that a relationship is all about ‘control’ and that the Woman’s goal is to have it. She is to control the house. She is to control the flow of sex. She is to control as much as possible and Men are supposed to accept whatever she gives. Feminism did not achieve equality, it created a war for control that destroys marriage. Marriage is about Love and Mutual Respect.. not control. Whether Western Women realize it or not, they are tearing down their own marriages with their own two hands.

      And then the Man discovers the Philippines. A land where Women are overwhelmingly Catholic and raised with old-school values, including those of a Wife being a loving helpmate to her Husband. And guess what? Men love the treatment they get so much, we bend over backwards to reward this non-contemporary woman with all the love, respect and care we can lavish upon them. Traditional values work. That is what feminism destroyed.

      And what is the backlash? With the Western women I’ve listened to.. lots of hatred and bitter anger. They will accuse men who go to the PH of, “not being man enough to handle a REAL woman”. Well, I guess that thought helps them sleep at night. But the reality is, NO man wants to have to ‘handle’ being around a demanding, self-centered person all day. It’s draining and unfulfilling. After lashing out at the men, these same women then lash out at Filipinas, claiming that they are not ‘educated’ and are being made ‘subservient’. Well, the proof is in the pudding, as they say. And far more men are happy in decades of marriage with their Filipina wife than these bitter women who, decade after decade, just can’t seem to “find a good man”. Why? Because their idea of a ‘good man’ is a doormat, and no real man will put up with that job description for long before heading out the door.

      People can say what they want, but at the end of the day, I know far more successful and joyful.. yes, joyful marriages that involve a Filipina than any of the 3rd or 4th marriages I know of back in the States.

      1. Henry…….. your post hits the bullseye, you must be talking about me, I couldn’t agree with you more, most American women are so un-appreciative and high maintenance they will make a man weary. Great job on the writing, good luck going forward !

  65. i find it pretty terrifying that anyone would objectify fillipino women so strongly, and my wife is a fillipino (and 100% awesome… but i think it’s just that she is, rather then as this article seems to state, she was brought up with certain ideas in a certain place). really demeaning to the author, who seems to be capable of quite a bit more.

  66. Sami Achter Funny my so called slave in your words has a house keeper I hired for her, so she would not have to do all the menial tasks. But believe what you want, as you have no clue what you are talking about.

    1. Sami Achter is so ignorant! Classifying all Filipinas as slaves. Im a full blooded Filipina who has American name. My dad was adopted by American family who was a Filipino..he worked his ass off in the US airforce to give his Filipina wife and kids a good future. Give a respect to my dad bastardo Sami Achter! My dad grew up in the States and had practiced both cultures although Pilipino culture had much influence on him more than the Western. We are middle class family and I remember growing up having 4 maids or what Sami achter calls them slaves. I’m well travelled, been to many places including the western country, studied abroad…and been living with western housemates who are very lazy to even wash their own cups. All they do is drink alcohol! Every morning before I go to school or work and before I could make a cup of coffee I had to clear my housemates mess in the kitchen as I could hardly fit the kettle to get water on the tap as it was full of washing up that my housemates left. Westerners??? Lazy ! Who has to clear their mess? the Filipina! What I’m trying to point out here is that the slaves you are calling has self discipline! Many westerners calls Filipina as slaves, easy etc. etc. I suggest look at yourself in the mirror and perhaps you could think of many worst names to call yourself. You tend to judge all Filipina yet you are worst than anyone of us.

  67. Very good article. I am very glad that after my second marriage ended I decided to go to the Philippines. I treated the ladies and families with the utmost respect and now my new Philippine wife and I have been together for 5yrs. She has been true to her word and I do the best I can to love and care for her and her family.

  68. Sami, it appears that you have never been out of Dade county. It is a big beautiful world out their get out and enjoy it before it is to late.

  69. My wife is a pinay ..:-) ( you see I have not the typical older age to have a pinay wife 😀 ) How I can describe it from a man view…1. For me personally, I can say Ive seen there included my wife really one of the most beautiful women . The mestizas are very pretty. ( means not the dark skinned pinays are ugly but as i wrote its my personal opinon ) There are also a lot of "bitches" but in general we can say the pinay does care .. and i mean really care…and this i mean also for the pinay women wich know by their own that they are pretty. …the pinay women are mostly driven by emotions ( which can be very good and sometimes it can be bad also ) The Pinoys are good people ( the most of them ) which can teach a lesson what it is to enjoy life. The other side is…that they love to close their eyes of own mistakes …they ignore them simply..( i say that in general ) Nevermind, I understand why " older " men come to the Phils and grab a young girl…but I have to say that these men lie to theirself..Coz they forgett that a younger pinay is not different in her mind and heart like a young western girl. They call it in the Phils "to sacrifice for the family" I couldnt live with it as man ..if i would be 50 or 60 and have a sexy young girl in front of me but I know deep in my mind that she loves me not, that she is with me together only for the money and to get a better life. I suggest all western men which want to date a pinay. Take a woman in your age, there are so many really pretty pinays in the age of 40-50 outside. With such a woman you can have a conversation about the same things and interests. Also a pinay is a woman , so u should keep always in your mind that you order just not an item via the inet. Greetings

  70. Sami Achter This is not correct Sami, I know and understand what you mean with your set, but it is not just the full truth. They all talk with respect to you ( yes sir, this sir, here sir, balblalblla sir ) Because they are Asians and this is normal there and good. You cant generalize that with the independent women …..I understand that its looking for us western so , that they are stupid and not independet. But it is defintive not so. ( there are stupid ones too outside, which dont have an own brain and mind ; but this we have in the western world too )

  71. Great article..very informative.I hope this article will change the image of Filipino women in a good way.Thank you.

  72. what a brilliant article about Filipinas. Kudos to Mr. Henry for being spot on! enjoyed reading the comment here on here, so sad though to those few who has had a bad experience with scammers. They are everywhere not only in Philly mind you. So yeah, juz watch out. Well, there are men out there, foreigners who wants to prey on young girls, pedophiles…and they are worse than those so-called 'scammers'….anyways, i am glad that most of you have been successful in finding true love in the Philippines. I am a filipina, not pretty juz a cutie(lol) and is dating a french guy here in london. He told me he's had enough of western women cos most of them r bitches and he said he can't believe how sweet i am:)…of coure, pinays knows how to look after their men…i love cooking for him not bec am his servant, but bec i care for him and he appreciates everything i do for him…i never asked him or anything, in fact everytime we are out, i always pay for both of us…that's the way i like it, and i don't want to depend on a man for my own survival. when i am at his place i pay for my own food…we do get stares from 'western' women when we are out, but am not really bothered…i am with a foreigner not bec of his money(which he don't have really…hahaha)…but bec of his personality…so to those people who have this thinking that we are

  73. i mean for those who have this thinking tht asian women only date foreigners for their money, well dudes, that is soooo primitive! they date us Filipinas because we are awezum! hehehe….

  74. Just found this awesome site. LOVE the videos and the articles on dating. I’m from New Orleans and can see that visiting there will be like visiting another planet LOL. Can I ask a few questions?

    Let’s say I’m looking to date an 18 yo and like you suggest, avoid the dating sites till I arrive in Phil. Will I have to “Meet the Parents” for every 18yo I ask out at the mall?

    And…is it culturally unacceptable to date, say, three 18yo filipino’s per week until I find one I “click” with or should I only date 1 per month?

    Do most filipina’s want to wait till marriage before any intimacy occurs?

    How many dates does it usually take before you can finally be alone with them (w/o chaperones)? It seems awefully daunting to have their cousin there all the time and can’t have any privacy to ask them sensitive questions.

    Sorry for all the questions but I’m absolutely fascinated with their culture and can’t wait visit. Don’t want to step on any filipina toes! 🙂

    1. I’ll share some thoughts with you based on my experiences (for a short while) dating 18 year olds in the PH. So what I say here is specific to them.. not older girls. Yes.. expect to have a chaperon around the whole time you are dating them. I really don’t advise dating 18 year olds unless you’ve already decided you are in the market for a WIFE. The 18-19 year olds are NOT into casual dating and 99.9% of the time.. do not expect to be intimate or even have any alone-time with them. Expect most of your ‘dates’ to be family functions. If this doesn’t appeal to you, date older girls in the early 20’s and up.

      As for dating several girls at the same time.. you really don’t have that option with 18 year olds. The family (and her) won’t like the idea at all and will write you off as a “cheater” as soon as they find out you’re talking to other girls. And believe me.. they WILL find out. That’s the culture here.. very networked like you would not believe. So, only date one at a time and make up your mind fast whether you’ll keep dating her or not because as time goes by, you can then expect requests for money as the ‘pending’ new son-in-law. What to you is only the 2nd month of “dating” is practically being “part of the family” to them.

      Personally.. I myself won’t date girls that young any more. There is way too much expectation to move forward into marriage since many of them are still virgins and see marriage as the goal.. not ‘dating’ to get to know each other. For them, it’s more like a formality just before a quick marriage.

  75. Hi, im so happy reading this about us filipina. Im a nurse here in the Philippines, and im having a relatiobship with an american guy for almost 7 months and we are living together. But since he saw articles online about us filipina being bitches and scammers he started treating me bad and telling im ne of them because i have an american dream. Never in our 7 months being together i asked him for money or for him to bring me in US. I took nursing because i have families in canada who will help me work there as a nurse, but he wont believe me. Our relationship right now is so ugly that i started to feel stupid if ill stay with him. I love him dearly, but I deserve respect. And i think he will never realize my worth not unless he will be with a real bitch and scammer. Im just cobfused why people generalize things. I think my family is right that he doesnt deserve me. And i feel so happy knowing a lot of foreigners here are happy with their filipina wife. Pls help us clean our name, it is unfair that we are veing stereotyped just because few did wrong. God bless us all. And thank you for this article.

    1. He sounds immature and stupid. what is wrong of having American dream? him not trusting you is not good. drop him like a hot potato. you can find a lot better than him especially when you are in Canada; don’t settle for less especially this loser.

  76. U deserve to be respected. Especially if u are being good to him. Maybe your family is right. Coz sometimes when we are in love, we tend not to see what they see.. i dont know how your american bf will change his views about us Filipinas.. good luck! . God bless!

  77. I just hate the fact he thinks of me that way just because of what he read on the internet. So shallow. I still do love him and i wish moving on is so easy. Thanks Rona.

  78. this was the rude site that made my american boyfriend broke up with me. I feel so bad right now that his reason is so shallow, just because im a filipina nurse he broke up with me. The author in this site is racist. Saying bad things about filipinas. Im so depress right now. Dont even know what to do. Im sorry guys, i just feel it is so unfair. I

  79. I understand your frustrations but if that is what he thinks then there's really not much you can do. He has you 'stereotyped' but the bad and sad part is that 'you' have not given him any reason! I think he has adopted this stereotype because he has been burned alot in the past, and because you seem soo far from what he is used to dealing with, he cannot believe it is true that he finally has someone worthwhile. That is whats sad about your situation and I feel for you.

  80. Great info and great people (yes YOU, the commenters – lol!) I am learning things about this culture and I have someone that I may have rushed into a relationship. But "seriously" the only thing holding ME back is our distance and the fact that I can never be able to permanently move to the Philippines nor can she comes stay with me. My living arrangement is complex (I live in a family-owned house by myself but my family would never allow me to have someone else living with me in this house). My financial situation is that if I left the US my income would stay ;-( What would you suggest I can do about my relationship to eventually make it so that we can see a future together?

  81. I have a general question about tattoos and Filipino women. Is is common for Filipino women to have tattoos? Would it be seen as disrespectful if a Filipino woman got any tattoos? Thanks in advance 😉

    1. Hi. It is not common for a Filipina to have a tattoo… however, due to modern influence, it is now accepted as a form of art or self expression. In my opinion ( as a Filipina), there is nothing wrong with it. 🙂

  82. i love this post of yours,after i read some forums that hates filipinas,i feel a lot of good to filipinas.

  83. yes i agree charles i have been married 2 years we have little girl,she is in cebu i am in scotland, hopefully not for much longer,my wife did just the same looking after her family.. went down same road as you found it very hard to trust again, but thanks to my wife i have that trust back..i am not rich in fact just the opposite we have struggled since the first day we met, as far as money yes maybe some do chase money, but i think as had been said before, a few make it bad for the majority..

  84. I met a nice girl as well – it was some time and a lot of scammers that i went to talk with. you cannot judge every foreigner and not every pinay. you just have to see.
    a lot of girls are ok with a one night thing. some extra money and so be it and the rest is
    ” up to you” – and others just want not just some sex and will make it clear.
    everyone can be tricked. foreigners or pinays…you just have to see.
    you can meet really nice women of different types there.
    you will notice fast who is playing some game or not.
    my gf knows i am not rich and she could have been with richer or better looking guys. we are together since one year now…and we both agreed on more.
    the vacation with her was a lot of mutual sex. i did not see the beach we spend most of the time in restaurants sleeping and making love.
    if you meet someone and you both love each other things will work.

  85. I have had it with Filipinas and the men who chose them in the name of subservience. As far as being beautiful….it’s a matter of opinion.

    1. Then, continue to wear the pants while your boyfriend wears an apron and learns to do whatever tricks you train him to do.. see how that works out for you. Meanwhile, the rest of us real men will be making some Filipina’s life a joy for the both of us. 🙂

      1. that about sums it up with western bra burners. I have had it with them, getting drunk doing what they want denying everything. At least Filipina woman have a certain pride in themselves and understand how to be a woman and not a stuck up spoilt brat.

  86. In the Philippines everything is cheap. I know you are going to tell me “its depend of a character of a person” but it is very easy to cheat there and is very tempting. I know this kano who is married to Filipina who doesn’t have a clue up to now her husband still cheating on her for a long time now. they live in the Philippines.

    That is why I am always wondering if my husband is doing or will doing the same thing cheating on me while I am not with him every time we go on vacation in the Phils but I can’t be with him for 24 hours that’s insane. if he is going to cheat me he will know that were done. also He wants to live in the Philippines someday.

  87. Perhaps some foreigner likes to marry a Filipina because they think they can always get away the cheating thing. most western women will not put up with that.

  88. If you are planning to marry a Filipina but have the intentions of moving and living there in the Phillippines let her know about it in advance.

  89. In the Philippines no matter how old, fat or ugly kano is, there are still many Pinay will chase them thinking they have lots of money. I am annoy every time I take vacation to Philliipnes sales ladies in the malls asking me if my husband is a gallant and how much money he gave me every month; I am just speechless.

    In America plenty of good looking white men here with good heart and good job also, if you are single Asian women here you have many choices. And Pilipinas who live in Philippines have this wrong mindset that young white American has no stable job and still live with parents house; that is not true.

  90. As an American married to a Filipina, I can say it was the best thing that has happened in my life. I am semi-retired at age 64 and my wife will be 42 in late August. She is originally from near Dumaguete City on Negros Island. We have been married almost 14 years this month and have a 12-year-old daughter. Belinda has been the most attractive, supportive wife that a man could want. I am not wealthy, but we have a nice home where she enjoys entertaining her Filipino friends here in the states. We also have a residential lot near her home area in the P.I. that we plan to build a retirement home on in the very near future. I have been pleased that she has preferred to be a homemaker, but I am sure many Canadian or American men would love to have a Filipina who is a nurse like you. It also shows that you have put forth effort to educate yourself. Believe me, there are many men who are looking for a Filipina like you. May future blessings come your way.

  91. Enjoyed your article, hope to go there one day soon. i met the most wonderful girl from a pen pal site.

  92. here’s the answer for the people who think they know what all men want and have never been outside the USA…lol. 1. Asian girls treat their own men with respect and it’s self evident that they marry men from their own country also. Those men get treated better than american men do also. NO trip to america there right? lol Never thought of that huh?
    Also the american guys who live in the other countries where they meet these women are not giving them a free pass to the USA. That steals your thunder if your big argument is “they only want green cards”. The men who leave the US and live with foreign wives still get treated BETTER THAN YOU TREAT AMERICAN GUYS, even if they are not rich or bringing their wife back to america.

    Jealousy doesn’t look good on anyone, especially women who claim to know what an entire culture wants when you are living in a world where men practically worship you. I feel sorry for the men who run after stuck up self proclaiming queens who don’t give those same guys a second glance.

    If you are rich in america you can buy most women here, but they all want to claim that filipinas just want a better life in america.
    Hmm let’s weigh those two options. A woman who has access to everything yet still only gives respect and love to millionaires or a woman who just wants a decent job or a man with a decent job and treats her nice.

    Ha! I still pick the women who just wants to be treated nice and have a man with a job. Women in america don’t give enough respect to regular guys like me who just work hard everyday. We finish last here, so don’t be jealous when we get treated the way YOU ALWAYS GET TREATED here but in the arms of a foreign women. STOP HATING!!

    As for guys who go there just to have sex with young girls, you guys are as stated above, lazy bums who don’t deserve to be around any “good” woman. Don’t waste the time of the women who really want love just because you don’t believe in it.

    Bottom line, America is the porn capital of the world so it always gets under my skin when people try to belittle other cultures and people for having a city with a street full of prostitutes. In America the average woman can be bought by any guy with millionaire status. Say it ain’t so, when I see women in the states throw their panties on stage at a famous artist who has never paid a bill for them or given them a second glance. Money rules America and groupies come a dime per dozen … Say it ain’t so…

    So i’m taking all challengers who think they can find one american women who treats a regular guy the same way he treats her. That’s not much to ask.. but it’s a tall order in the USA unless you look like Brad Pitt or have millions in the bank.

    The better deal and better odds is an always has been in other countries where you get admired just for being a nice person and having a decent job. That type of guy in the states is a loser… nice guys finish last right?

    By the way I’m meeting the family of my philippine girl friend on my next visit. We have been together in person and going on almost a year. She has never asked me for money and she owns her own business.
    She also own land which was passed down to her from her grand mother. Eat that “independent women”.
    Oh and she treats me like a Prince. You know why? I treat her like a Princess. New concept for US dating.

  93. Im with my wife after finding her she from bacolod city, and its true, I woukdnt trade her for anything. The one down side I do hv concern with is jeliousy. I hv kids with my x and visitation has been difficult because she is so jelious when the x is around and I cant stand my x, and I hv custody of my daughter. The x is the last tjing on earth I would concider but some reason my pinay wife fears I will go back to her.

  94. Thank you everybody for giving me faith again in women. I am a White from the US. I used to date black women and they have been nothing but heartache and drama. I have recently met a Filipina while traveling to Panama. I must say the difference is night and day. I’m old enough to have experienced the rainbow of women, but nothing compares to the love, loyalty, and faithfulness of these Filipina beauties. I wouldn’t take 10 women from the US in place of the one I’m with.

  95. No one with the name Christopher Frederick wrote this. The syntax and mistakes in English grammar are pure Pinoy. Unless you dropped out of school after third grade, no westerner is this illiterate.

  96. how much Spanish ancestry does the average Filipino have? very very little, I’d be willing to bet.

  97. Well said Henry..

    However, the physical features in the pictures you have used in this article are mostly 20-30% of how Filipinas look like. My guess is they hailed from the province (which is not a bad thing) because most of the girls in the city look more kempt. (no offense)

    Like you said, we are a mixed race and 40-80% of the Filipinas now look more
    Japanese/Korean/Spanish like a Eurasian or Amerasian. They are lighter in complexion (mocha in hue) and have more prominent facial features than the ones you have shown above.

    Asides from that, they have the independent mind set, their core values are intact like the salience of loyalty, kindness, love and other good traits Filipinas have built within them. These women who belong in that category find pride in accomplishing things for themselves but at the same time is grounded by the principles they grew up on. In fact, most are very close to their families.

    But that’s not all! That same 40-80% have more strong will and perseverance because they just don’t hope for a financially stable guy (foreigner or not) to show up in order to survive or to get out of poverty..they work for it. Most, get good education and then leave the country to have good paying jobs (like myself) and these Filipinas really converse well in English even better than native speakers of the language(or so I have been told).

    In fact, I do not know if I should feel complimented or insulted when foreign guys tell me, “Oh you speak really good English!” or “Wow, you’re done with your masters? (and repeats all my accomplishments in utter awe)”. Initially, I feel flattered. But digging deep in those comments every time, most foreign guys might think that Filipinas are all “island girls who look tan” waiting for a financially secure husband.

    Sadly that is not the case.

    In addition to what you wrote, asides from those “Filipinas” you have mentioned, there is a percentage (a huge one at that) that is a hybrid of both western/european and filipino culture. The type who works hard to get where she wants to be by herself (not using a stable guy or anyone in the process) who at the same time is grounded by her strong Filipino roots of love of God, love of family and love of self and what she looks for in a partner/husband is not a master to serve, to adore and to be crazy about (to the point of being unhealthily jealous and giving up her passion just to make way for her man) but she looks for a companion whom she can share her life with, her success, her happiness, her love as she welcomes him share his.

    THAT is what a modern, world class Filipina is ALL about and guys from all over the world should find the likes of her to get THE BEST.

  98. Hello there, even though I am not a filipina woman I have many friends which are and I can relate to the bad image of some women can affect the overall view of a specific ethnicity or race of women , I am black with some mix there and here, exotic features also and it upsets me that because of some women prefer to be goldiggers and mean, others are named too. My boyfriend is white and is not rich at all, but he is one of the best things that happened to me and I know he’s never been so happy. He has a child with his ex(which happened to be Filipino but one of the bad type) and it never made any difference when our friends ( a couple who was dating a the time) set us up, what counts to me is if someone has a good heart, don’t take himself too serious, works hard and wants a family. I am black women which was born in Meditarrean Europe and live in the uk now and my boyfriend is English and a soldier. His family loves me to bits ( they say I make him better)and my family loves him too. I don’t think that the image in the media or the American black women represents me at all, Me, my friends or my family act nothing like them. I am finishing my degree and very articulate. I would like that men of other races would take notice of many loving and respectful women of other races other than just Caucasian. Not having a go at Caucasian women as there many good ones too but it’s better when people keep an open mind when dating.

  99. I am a 36 years old filipina and I have passed 2 board exams, I am a pharmacist as well as a family physician and a mother of two children so please stop calling us slaves because you have no idea of what you are talking about

  100. This article was written some time ago. What is taking so long to find “the one”? I think what happens is there are so many women to choose from most guys have a hard time “settling” on just one and end up being big players.

  101. Girl if he is mean and not treating you right leave. He will either get the picture that you dont need his money and realize what he lost or he will continue to be mean and miserable. U deserve better. U are too young to have to live that way forever

  102. Very jelouse women to another races women, talking behind and scared to say the truth right to the person….is it you call beautiful? Beauty comes from the heart.

  103. Wow I wish the pinay that I met and had relationship with for 7 years online and phone was good and loyal to me like they are described on here.I met her after 4 years of chatting.Shes from Iligan but met me in oro and we went to camiguen.She didnt show me her house in iigan and I didnt get to meet her parents.She wanted us to stay in cagayan and not go to iligan.Her sister came and met us though.She always told me that she was seriuos about me.She said when other guys ask her out she tells them shes married to me.She even wrote het number in my phone and it said my wife as name.She acted like she lived me and wanted to marry me.She told me I am the perfect match for her im the guy she wants to be with forever she told me.She was very intimate with me and had sex with me.I always treated her nothing but good.Then when I left she cheated on me.Then 3 months later she was different guy who lives in iligan also and she married him.She also met canaduan guy before meeting me.She is still on my list.Even though shes married to another guy and not me she still asks me for money.I mean really she thinks I should give her money anf help her when she is with other guy.Is this normal behavior of girl in iligan city in the philippines?

    1. I don’t think so that every woman are the same….I can’t speak about Iliganon’s but I am sure that she is just one of the rotten tomatoes.Being cheated and lied hurt so bad but life must go on.She’s not your responsibility and if you really want to move on?Blocked her and find somebody else.In the first place it’s so weird why she did not introduce you to her family.Most Filipinas are really eager to introduce their boyfriend to their family and friends.Maybe she’s hiding something,is she single?Your story reminds me of someone from Iligan too,single mom,she just turned 33,was engaged to a US citizen,ended up having an affair with another foreigner.How did the US citizen knew?because of her piZap page..Hope we are not talking of the same person here..Sorry for the bad experience Jason.I believe that there’s always an explanation for everything.Sometimes we learned a life lesson in a hard way.Just move on ,forgive her and be ready for the right person to come.May you find the right person for you…she’s just out there…good luck…

    2. this woman you met is a woman you could have met in canada as well and in every other country. you find bad characters everywhere. your choice was just not the best and you got lied to by a person. it happens to a lot of girls also. women cheat in the western world or drop you there as well. just because you go to thailand or the philippines, vietnam, cambodia, korea, means not you will meet a faithful and honest loyal woman. like i said – it is sad you made this experience but maybe good. and it is good that you did not marry this woman. be happy be lucky and delete her off your list. she dates someone else or has sex with other men ? then she also does not need your money.
      if you had a western girl asking you that you would also not give cash out to her all the time. on a dating site some girl i messaged a few years back asked me pretty much right away in a frustrated mood that she needs help etc. etc. i just wanted to know what her story is and i saw her in an internet cafe on cam and she was not wanting to talk/let me hear her voice. she sat there with a stupid face full of bad attitude and talking how she would be sooo honest and needing money. it was mainly about herself.
      sitting there not even smiling and with this shitty face just made me think which guy drove here to the internet cafe so she would be able to get some money out of foreign guys’ pockets she spoke about wasting her time etc. etc.
      just beware of certain types of character sets. life is in many cases about surviving and trying to get the money someone makes and be well off.
      the posiitive experiences with filipinas and how nice and interesting and great women they are are also there. just do not make someone a sex object who is not just into a funescapade.
      there are enough girls and bargirls which are ok with that but on the other ones it is not fair to break their hearts – same as i would not want that if i am searching for someone serious and trustable it is a matter of being fair.

    3. oh I’m so sorry to hear that, well don’t lose hope Jason, there are still good Filipina out there, just be careful on keeping one, because you might be keeping a stone on your hand, well good luck

  104. No, it is not a normal behavior of a woman. What she did to you is wrong, but we cannot generalize her behavior to the whole city of Iligan. That would be a hasty generalization which might limit your understanding to the Filipino people. I understand that there are people who use foreigners to help them financially. My boyfriend is American, but I never asked him for any help, more or lest if it is financial. I hope you'll find the right woman for you, but a piece of advice. You can travel more around the Philippines and meet more liberal minded, and I dare say, educated Filipinas. Those who will not see you only through your money, but for who you really are. I advise that you learn more about the Philippines. Also, don't send money to your gf. I know that sometimes, there is the feeling that you would want to help her and her family. I will tell you, they will appreciate it very much, but if they are honest people. However, just like any other countries, there are good and bad people. An honest person would not oblige you to do things that you are not willing to do, most of all if it concerns money. Another one, I hope you would not just see Filipina women, or women generally, for sex. 🙂 Remain hopeful and keep looking for her. I believe you'll find the woman who will make you feel loved and special.

  105. Been emailing chat a foreign guy and Im starting to falling inlove with him and we were friends for like 2 and a half years already. Goodluck for the both of us! Cheers to us Mr.Grey <3

  106. Sami Achter I do not need a good slave, as I pay the house keeper to do the house work. And I do all the work that involves bringing money into the house. So it is a sign of respect not to have someone bitch about something so small as to whether the toilet seat is up or down. In all my life I have never fallen into a toilet because the seat was up, in fact it is so easy just to put it up or down, that I would never have even thought about it unless some uncaring, unappreciative, useless woman like yourself tried to make a federal case out of it. You just can not fathom the fact that their are women who really love their husbands and do not have to make the whole world revolve around themselves. That is why women like you are always bitter and alone.

  107. very well said.I hope more foregner would read your informative article so that we filipinas wouldnt have bridging the cultural differences we have with western or European men.Ive been meeting them via online but they cant seem to have diffuculty understanding.Keep up the good work.Thank you very much.

  108. I met my boyfriend/fiance by chance when I was giving up for love, when I stop believing I could find love. I didn’t look for him but he looked for me and he found me. It is just amazing just when you gave up looking for love , just it will find you itself. I had some bad past with my pinoy boyfriends (3). When I was young, it wasn’t my dream to find foreigners to marry but to have pinoy by my side for the rest of my life. However, it changed when I experienced broken heart with my pinoy boyfriends. And it totally changed when I met my man now. I could not ask for more. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m not jealous like others problems here with their filipinas. I think maturity is everything. I don’t like drama and he doesn’t either. I don’t ask more than he can give.

  109. Sorry about my bad spelling, i was in my car using speech to text to reply. My wife is here ,we are in the process to file her AoS now its been 1 year and 2 months since she came here on a plane, no knowing much about the place she was going, only what she learned thru tv or movies. She left her entire family 9000 miles away to make that journey. We walked out of IAH airport to the shuttle bus. I looked at her face as we went from immigration and thru baggage claims, then a small last interview check with immigration. We made our way toward the exit that allowed us into the common areas of IAH, i looked at her face, it was full of happiness and confusion of where to go. I told her when we made it to that point, Welcome to America, we drove home to my house , i must say that its been very good, no big problems. Yes it works, every girl is different, but the main thing is basically the same everywhere in the world, dont meet girls in bars and try make housewives out of tbem, i heard its worked in some cases but not good odds. My wife is the absolute most wonderful mother to my 5 yr old from a previous gf. She does so much and is so into being a good mom to her. As a wife shes treated me very well. She enjoys being together and trys hard to please me . She follows me in the relationship. One thing i noticed is it is not all about how the girl has to make everything right, its the mans part also to lead. I had to change also in this union it is not just simple. I had to change things about myself ,inside to be married and give her the respect she deserves. I no longer go out to bars, i set good examples for my family to follow, she has also taught me how to lead. Filipina will make the best wives but trust me if you cheat, lie, and abuse her she will leave you just like any white girl will. Filipina will give more and be so much better than u ever imagined but if she feels that shes not getting respect in return u will be in for a fight. We have filipino friends here we made in area , we visit them and i see they all are good families, married to kano just like us. My wife loves to fish, sing, travel around looking at our history she like reading historical markers… she treats me like a king, but you bet your bottom dollar if i didnt treat her nice also she will not be tis way. We will plan a trip soon to go back to phils and see her family again. Shes doing well not as homesick as i figured she would be its been good shes strong and her family is in contact .. its been a real blessing meeting my wife. I took 2 yrs before i filed her visa to come here on a k1 , we been married a yr now, shes been here in the usa for little over a year now.

  110. I’ve been married to American for 38 years I’m from Manila and I got 2 kids when I met him and now I got a daughter from him, we get along great he still open the car door for me. I don’t support my family with money, now I’m retired for 20 years working in the school, we travel and and do things together so you American if you meet a pilipina let her love you the way you are,
    Philippine people think because you live in the US or married to an American they think your rich, we pilipina live in United States we work also, we don’t give money away. Learn something American.

  111. I love this Article.. Big compliments for all filipina like me.Thank you very much sir.. God Bless

  112. Henry, this is a great article, I agree with you 99.5% of this. The .5% I disagree on is Angeles City. Yes, Angeles is a city based on the sex industry. Yes, most of the women there are in this industry. However, not all are. I have found my “forever mate” in Angeles, outside the sex industry. We’ve known each other for 12 years, and if she passes her interview soon, we’ll be married by years end. Overall, this is a great article.

    1. Can’t argue with that. Sounds like you’ve found that one golden needle in the haystack. And I do agree, not ‘all’ women in Angeles are in the ‘industry’. Wishing you both the best in your new future together.

  113. wow I got your trifecta! old fat and bald! and very happy with my mid 30’s asawa of 7 years, luckily for me her criteria wasn’t rich or guwapo, it was did I have a good heart and that is how many of these Filipina think in my experience, we are building a life together in the Philippines with me working overseas while we build in the province, I could not be happier, thanks for your perspectives and advice Reekay, you’re a good guy

  114. Henry cant thank you enough for all your videos I have watched like the 1 about Tejero water park been ther several times thanks to you …I bumped into you and Lynn 1 day at Robinsons mall in Dumaguete this past March we shook hands and talked briefly …will be retiring in Duma within the next 2 years and yes I agree Filipina women are gorgeous and my wife treats me great soon to be 57 and my asawa is 31 married 7 years with a 2 year old hopeing it is safe to raise my son in Duma …..thanks again Henry for all your information I owe you and Lynn dinner hope to see you soon

  115. It’s a lot to read but it’s worth it. Thank you for cleaning the name of kapampangan women. Actually most kapampangan didn’t date foreigners because we are scared to be judge and criticize with other people not because we hate them. We just got blind on what other says about foreigners because of the prostituion here. But if you have a friend here and meet her family they will equally treat how they treat Filipino.

    For those foreigners who felt hated by the kapampangan I’m sorry. We don’t hate you. Approach us we will talk to you. Don’t hate us.

    Who want to search kapampangan woman don’t go in Fields Avenue, Balibago instead go in Angeles, City proper. Just don’t get bore hahaha.

    Searching the right one is really hard. It’s like you’re in a garden of rose, picking flowers using only our hands. Sometimes we will pick a lot of petals instead of picking the one with stem because we are afraid of its thorn. Then you will take care of them while choosing who is most fresh and beautiful. But you don’t realise even a lot of chemicals you will put in that petal you chose it will not last. If you pick is the whole rose with stem that a full of thorns, plant it and take care of it. It will produce a lot of flowers for you.

    Henry V. thank you. Give my regards to your wife.

    Instead searching Angeles City in Google search Kapampangan.

  116. To my eternal twin flames I love you honey. Thank you for the love you planted in my heart.

  117. Wow! This is really spot on! Glad you have such high views on women here in the Philippines. Whenever I see foreigners around, I sometimes tend to assume that they don’t think highly of us. We are completely different from our Western counterparts. Always, always we are obsessed with achieving ‘the western skin, height, nose, figure and so many other things’ because we knew we will never be as beautiful, sexy and flawless as those women we see from other countries. And also whenever I see filipinas with their foreigner partners I can’t help thinking they only married these foreigners for the money. It can’t be love. Na-ah, no way. Money always plays the biggest part. Security is a subtle way to put it. But as with every entities here on earth, not every living species of the same kingdom, genus, or whatever are the same. Some really are gold diggers while most are with genuine hearts. Well, it may start off with the purpose of having a lifetime of security, but in the end it’ll surely be worth it for the love of a filipina is worth the security you can give.

    1. Good points Kate . You have thought this through well.Smart women in your analysis of this topic ! Western guys are just normal guys , from a different culture …and look . We get “taken” by gold diggers and so on , and it is true the other way around too ! . In general ,some men don’t respect Filipina’s , but many many do , including me . As you know, some Filipina’s are just interested in a guys wallet too ! However , I am glad to see so many western men happy with their partners that so happen to be Filipina’s .This is great to see. Actually I see many thriving relationships between the two cultures- its great to see ! The Filipina’s seem happy too . I can only be so lucky in the future ! Again, great thoughts Kate !

    2. Yep, I sometimes wonder if foreigners/westerners really like us pinays or think we’ re attractive, because personally, I never consider myself pretty (maybe pretty ugly? Ha!) So every time an American tells me “You’re a very pretty girl”, or “you’re a smart girl”, I would just say “thank you” to avoid hurting their feelings, and sometimes I would add ” Naah, I wish though”. But in my mind it would be: “yeah right…!!” :). It’s very hard for me to accept compliments even now.

      It’s true, we’re attracted to Caucasians -white skin, tall nose, thin lips. That’s probably because we have brown/tan/dark skin, short noses, bigger/fuller lips compared to Caucasians .

      I’m attracted to my husband not only because he is good looking but mostly because he’s very kind, hardworking and responsible guy -not lazy. These traits are far more important to me than beauty. If a hot guy is mean, that’s a complete turn off for me.

  118. Henry I read this from time to time . In my City in N.America the women (for the most part ) seem very angry. Angry at men. I really don’t get it , why they seem soon angry and bitter towards men. My buddies comment on this frequently. One of my buddies just retired early(55) . He took off to Thailand where he is building a house. I asked why? , he stated the climate and culture, whereby people talk to each other there and he is tired being viewed with bitterness by many women.

    It would be great if you could do another article like this now , reflecting upon what you wrote a couple years ago here . That would be a good read ! .

    Thanks for your guidance and thoughts Henry !

  119. yehey! lol so happy to read this article and comments..thank you sir for showing respect and appreciation to us, filipinas, yah its true in my case im more attactive to a foreign guy rather than a local guy well you will notice from our list of celebrities some of them are mixed blood and i want to have babies with different eye color (lol) sorry its weird but its true then you mentioned bout the financial security yah somehow its true the women today are more open to the world women these days know whats happening so they must be practical and i guess the mothers behavior of a filipina though we dont have kids yet were thinking of their future already (cant blame us)..hope everyone would think the good things about us coz i encountered some white men think that filipina are scammers well sorry to hear that but not everyone is like that..there are some who think filipinas are slut coz they ask sex when they talk to me as far as im concern my account is a decent…well sad to say theres a stigma to us whether a good or bad….wish us luck! God Bless!

  120. Urgent In need Someone that can work as a Driver,House Help in United States Florida. Kindly send your RESUME via email with good Salary.(roberthandersonhall500(at)

    1. OFW workers from the Philippines are VERY hard to get into the USA. Most need to be in the medical or other professional field. You would have much better luck and far less expense hiring someone local to your area. Immigration is not going to approve a work visa for a housemaid job.

  121. I’m new to this post and love your informative YouTube content. You say “Just Friends” not leading to marriage is a total no-go to Filipinas (although many Filipinas have Pinoy lovers like that). An American TV Divorce Court judge says never marry when the concept is “a man is a plan”. But, in every Fil-West couple I’ve seen, the man is financing the relationship. Naturally, I see a lot of denial of this fact. The men say “she did not want money”, but in the next breath say “I am building a house for her family” or “I’ve brought her and her children to my country”, etc. If this isn’t about money and being a white-knight than what is? The type of live-in relationship like you had with Lyn for two years seems the ideal way to go in this day and age. So, how do you find a girl like Lyn for a live-in relationship, if you say they all are looking for marriage? And, from prior posts, this is supposedly easy to do. The lifestyle and reasoning you’ve provided suggests you’re MGTOW like me, which means not being a woman’s wallet, utility or child support system. So, I’m really curious how to get a girl like Lyn or what it costs to “rent” one. I don’t like wasting a lot of time on dates to find out the girl is a former prostitute or a Mother Mary’s (except to their Filipino lalaki lover) seeking a provider man. I was once there for 5 months and met many babae, but all fell in one of the two categories. They will say they love you and are aroused by you and totally love you and introduce you to parents. When you say you only want living together, they say “food is yummy not you.” So, clarification on this would be appreciated. Mabuhay.

    1. Nothing is fail-proof but, in the PH it truly pays to be honest and up-front with Filipinas. Lay it all out on the line in the beginning. If you have no intentions of getting married, having babies or moving back to the USA (my 3 things I bring up with a new Filipina).. and make sure they really understand that.. a few will walk away. But the ones who remain now know what you are NOT offering. If they are okay with a temporary relationship until their provider/soulmate comes along, that’s about as good as you can expect. And in the PH, not really all that hard to find.

  122. Wonderful write up henry. In behalf of the filipinas, i thank you for giving us a good image to the world.

    I admit, financial security and emotional security are the basic factors i consider in looking for a partner. And both factors should come hand in hand. On this basis, i found my foreign partner who is 23 years older than me. Weve been together since jan 2016, and lived together for a couple of months in the philippines. Right now he’s back in his country for work.

    On the aspect of financial security, i choose financially stable westerner because their financial status simply speaks of their character. The wealth that they have accummulated manifests the fact that they have worked hard for it – meaning they are industrious and trustworthy individuals. I hate lazy people. They bring nothing in the relationship but burden. I am not after for my partner’s money. I am not raised to take advantage of someone. I grew up to be an independent and hardworking individual with christian values. We are not rich and my parents could not afford to send us in college, however, I and my siblings worked hard to finish our education and achieve our dreams. Thats why i have this profession, a lawyer, and my other siblings are also professionals in their own fields. I live by my own means, everything i want and everything i need come from my own hwrd-earned money and i also support my family with my own money. My partner does not give me nor did i ask for any financial support from him.

    Emotional security is also very important for me. I considered cheating as one of the deadliest sin in a relationship, and ive seen that from relationships around me, including my parents. Filipino men have the reputation of being polygamous. And i do agree with that, for only a few men, 3 out of 100 men, i know are loyal to their partners. On the other hand, matured western men are different. Ive known a lot of matured westerner who very loyal to their filipina partners. Probably because at that stage of their lives, all they want is to be loved and be happy with their sole partner. And thats what im willing to give to my partner. With this, it inspired me to choose matured westerner.
    I really dont want to be cheated coz i might invoke article 247 of the revised penal code.

    In another note, im happy with my partner, but im still doubtful of his true intention, probably because i have no one to compare to as he is my first and only boyfriend so far. And the only comparison i can have are the westerners who are with filipina partners that i know. And my partner is quite different from those westerners in several aspects.

    So henry, just want to ask some pieces of advice, how would you know if a westerner is really serious to have a long term relationship to a filipina? As much as he showers me with loving words and promises, but still not convinced with his actions. Probably because of my profession, i need to have proof beyond reasonable doubt before i could totally trust everything he says.

    May i also know your insight on this set up wherein he spent his winter vacation here in the philippines, me living in his place for around 6 months and afterwhich, he goes back to his country and i go back to my parents house, coz he doesnt want to lease a place while he is out in the philippines? Although he said he is going to lease for a year when he comes back later this year, but again, he said the same thing last year but eventually changed his mind. Is he really serious on me or is he just one of those sexpats?

    Hope to hear from you. Thank you once again henry.

    1. I can only speak for myself, when it comes to showing that I’m “serious” about marriage. For me, I take one year to get to know the person. To me, a man “should” make a clear statement to his g/f about marriage within 2 or 3 years at the very most. After that, it becomes very questionable if he ever wants marriage or if he’s planning to move on soon. That’s how I look at it anyway. I’m not into just living together for 5 years before making a decision. Within 2 years, a person should be ready to at least commit to an engagement and begin planning a wedding date.

    2. Dear Reekay
      I have been dating a beautiful lawyer for over a year now, spending as much time as I can with her. I have flown to the Philippines three times to see her, each time renting a very comfortable apartment, paying for all food, entertainment and transport. I also took her to Thailand for three weeks and paid for the entire trip, including airfare, airport departure tax, meals, accommodation and so on. I spend over P60,000 a month while in the Philippines, as I like to live as comfortably as I can. When I am not here, my partner lives with her family.
      My partner tells me she is not after my money and likes to brag that she’s never asked me for anything and her astonishing restraint is apparently something she should get a medal for. While it’s largely true, that she does not “ask” for anything, she earns over P50,000 per month and has yet to contribute more than the smallest amount to our relationship, even though she has money to travel to Singapore on vacation with friends, give money to her family, and buy things for herself.
      I have told her on many occasion that I am seeking a partner, not a princess, and that my expectation is that each partner contributes what they can. I see this as fair. If my partner was earning zero, then her contribution would be non-financial, and I’m fine with that. I hardly need the money. But if she’s earning, then she must contribute. That’s my rule.
      I’m very proud that my partner is a hard-working professional, and I like that she works very hard at her job, even though this does not give her time to cook and clean, and do the things that a wife should do to create a comfortable nest for her man. In fact, my partner works too much, and for most of last winter I spent my time playing Sudoku alone in my apartment waiting for her to come home; often past 9:30 at night, so it was a lonely time, made worse by seeing ex-pat friends so happy with their Pinay partners, who had time for them. But I tolerate this because I love her, and I respect that she has worked hard to become a lawyer.
      We have tried twice to get a tourist visa for her to come to Canada, and both times were rejected because she is a bad risk as she has no assets. She is mad at me because I did not buy her a peice of land that she could use as an asset to help the visa application process.
      My partner is also mad at me because I won’t rent her a condo to live in while I’m away, even though she can easily afford to rent such a place, if it were important to her; which it’s not because she prefers to live with her family.
      So, my partner expects me to wait on her, hand foot and finger, does nothing to contribute to the relationship, and yet somehow expects me to accept that? I am a nice looking 53 year-old, with a couple of mill in the bank, and I treat the people I love very well, but I do not treat them like they are possessions that I need to maintain. I want to travel, explore, have fun and spend time with my partner and not be ill-treated, or taken for granted.
      This is the only Pinay I have ever dated, and sometimes it feels like I am dating a brown skinned version of a western girl. So Reekay, my question is; Should I try to make this relationship work or should we both move on and try to find more compatible partners?

      1. Going by what you’re sharing here, it’s my estimation that her higher priority is your money, not you or the relationship. It sounds to me like you want a real relationship. When a woman is in love, she is already aware of working as a team and will seek out ways to do that. A real woman in love doesn’t get upset because you haven’t bought her property.

        While she may be talented, attractive and has a career.. what she seems to lack is a true love for you. I’m sure along the way she “says” the right things often enough for you to have something to hang on to. But her actions and behavior don’t back it up. Yes, she has money and doesn’t outright ask you for any. But having you in her life, she SAVES a lot of money when you’re around because you are picking up the tab. To me, it sounds like she sees you as an asset, not a love interest.

        1. I admit I got a little disappointed when he refused to buy a property. He asked me to look for some property and I had sacrificed my time and effort as well as, and caused inconvenience to my friends for such request.

          Neverthelss, I only thought of buying propety because he wants me to be in canada. I told him im very much ok living in the philippines because I have my profession here. But he insist bringing to his place, which I agreed anyway. However, for filipinos, aside from marriage, having a property is the only way we can go to canada. Anyway, I suggested to him ways to buy a property without me getting advantage of it whatsoever later on, such as executing a lease contract for 25 years under his name.

          And still we applied for visa in the way he wanted it. As expected, we got denied.

          FYI he proposed to me last april 24, 2016,which I said yes, but eventually he changed his mind and just keeps on promising me stuffs. I was ok with it.

          FYI on my income, being a newbie in the profession, I don’t earn that much. It was only in february that I was able to earn as much 50k. but in the past months, I earn way lesser. Such that in december and january, I earn only around 10k/month.. on march, since he asked me to go for a vacation for almost a month with him, which im very grateful for, I earned less than 5k. to tell you honestly, I have responsibilities with my family. Im the bread winner and im supporting them around 15-20k per month, regardless of my income every month. So if you do the math, he should not say that im too selfish not to share something in our expenses.

          And to tell you honestly, I tried my best to share in the expenses, I paid for the laundry, buy food at times for the both of us, buy for the toiletries and other necessities whenever I can. And I never count it against him. I even felt for myself embarassed coz thats how little I can provide for now.

          I am not selfish and I never take advantag of people. I love him and be with him even if it was convenient for me. I had to travel back and forth from work with my bike 4x the distance I travel if I stayed at home. I had to share and spend some for us, than if I stayed at home, where everything is taken cared of from what I gave as support to my parents. I do household chores and take care of him as much as I can, when at home I do not do any except to do work. I tried to joggle my carreer and my time with him. I tried to be the best I can and loved him the way I know.

          Regarding the trip I had with my friends, fyi, we got the promo ticket last year when we had a major fight and caused us to break up momentarily. My friend paid for the ticket and until now I havent paid her yet, but shes ok with it coz she undertands my situation. For the expenses I spent in the trip, that was a portion of the savings I had which savings was supposedly given as support to my family during my supposed stay in canada which we planned earlier, but due to the denial of visa, he even broke up with me for that reason.

          The reason I want him to have something permanent home in the phil, is because people around me are saying things against him regarding our set up. He gets to stay only for 6 months a year and then he returns me back at home. I even have to pay for my own on carrying back and forth of my things at home, without him taking the intiative to take care of that aspect. And I don’t want to feel nomadic anymore.

          But I love him no matter how much he made me feel that I do not contribute to our relationship. I love me no matter how little I feel about myself – thinking that im only his winter fuckable girlfriend.

          Probably, Im a brown skinned westernized filipina. But I still hold of the culture I have as a filipina – to be faithful, loving, caring, patient and kind to my partner. But as an empowered woman, I don’t want to be taken advantage of nor degrade myself by allowing people to treat me such way. I know how to love unconditionally, but I see that he loves me conditionally.

          Sorry for ranting on your site. And thank you for listening and replying.

          God bless.

          1. addition:

            fyi, i never asked him to rent a condo for me cause that is too impractical. what i suggested is for us to start an amortization in a small subdivision. I even offered to share payment with the amortization of the house. but he dont want a simple living. he wants a luxurious one with a pool, etc. as long as it is convenient on him.
            but for me, with my limited resources, i dont want to be spending on something such as rent, that in the end, such investment will not be ours. its too impractical for me.

            by the way, the “vetty” account is also me.

  123. Erata:

    *i love him and be with him even if it was INCONVENIENT for me.
    *i do household chores and takes care of him as much as I can, when in my PARENT’S home I do not do any except to do work.
    * I love HIM no matter how little I feel about myself – thinking that im only his winter fuckable girlfriend.

    1. Vetty – you sound like a terrific women . I would have a serious talk to him – see how he takes it . Let us know . Make sure he knows you want to be in his long term plans . How old is he , and you ? How many more years of work does he have ? Maybe Reekay has some good advise . He usually has some real logical stuff . God Bless !
      James @ Vancouver

    2. I may turn out to be the poor fool feeding the troll… But in the off-chance that this woman is real and that her bf is reading this…


      Is the sex really that mind-blowing that you’re willing to put up with an incredibly huge sense of entitlement?

      Can’t you find a wiser Filipina out there who would have the common sense NOT to display her emotional baggage on a public forum on the internet, inviting scorn and ridicule?

      Good luck to you.

      1. LOL, Ate….oh, she’s real and the sex is pretty damn great 🙂

        She’s a good person but very inexperienced and naive. Quite honestly, she’s a bit clueless about how relationships work. It’s endearing in it’s own way, but tiring too.

        Her inappropriate sense of entitlement is an issue that has to change if we are to continue as a couple. I’m taking the long term view right now, feeling that her behavior and attitudes can be modified, and I’m willing to the put the effort in to educate her.

        It means undoing 30 years of her being raised as a princess though; it shocks her to find out that she actually has to contribute and that everything isn’t free for her. She’s never been expected to do even simple things like chores around the house, or cook, and so she is clueless how to do those things. Momma raised a Princess unfortunately 🙁

        There is more good than bad in the relationship and I believe in trying to work relationships out if we can. I think she is worth the effort, but….. my patience is not unlimited and there are many beautiful Filipinas….

  124. IF she is, and has been raised a princess , RUN !!!! don’t walk. You will never change her , OR it will come back at you like a horror show 15 years from now , when you have 3 kids and a mortgage . Run ! Sorry to rain on your parade my friend!

    1. that’s what we call the “high maintenance” girl. definitely, run from such prospects. it only gets worse. and if she discovers gambling.. kiss your assets goodbye.

  125. There are some many quality girls in the Philippines and the market is very competitive for a great guy , even a ‘good’ or ‘average’ guy ! Soooo get out there , and discover some better choices !! Filipinas are waiting !! 🙂 IMHO !

  126. Many good comments here, some are interesting and quite entertaining. What the author wrote are generally true. Many would even remain loyal to their western husbands even if they’re not much in love. I’m a Filipina and I have a Filipina friend here in US. She’s a very attractive, hot, pretty girl but married someone much older that developed some mental issues later in life., but she’s determined to remain faithful even though there are so many guys here drooling after her.

    There are good pinays, as well as nutjobs -stay away from those! When my husband was sponsoring me to migrate to US, I was very poor (a close relative took away my only source of income). When my husband knew about it, he sends me help $100 a month for my food. I told him I’m going to pay him back whenever I get a new job. So when I started earning little money, I insist to be the one putting food on the table to help him out. It’s one of the ways of returning the favor. I paid it back with so much more. I think I kinda spoiled him.

    1. your friends mental stress issues probably has more to due with N American society than anything else, if you ask me !!! 🙂 . Terrible transition N America is going through . Tough ! Feminists rule there , and 90% are angry . The indoctrination at Univesity and grade school grooms them for a life of frustration and anger ! sad really . YES , I am a degreed sociologist !

  127. Reekay,
    Hi, I am an American, medically retired army veteran now living in the Philippines. I met my Filipina wife online through her cousin. I was chatting for several months with her cousin because she was working in the U.S.A. in Washington State where I was from or the last place I lived before returning to the Army. I was born and raised in Lancaster, Ohio. Anyways, I asked this girl to go out with me when I returned again to Washington state, only to be turned down because she was already married. I didn’t know this and right away apologized to her and told her I would never have asked her out if I had known she was married. By the way I was talking to her on Tagged, yes very old school site lol, but the site that ultimately allowed me to find my prefect match, my soulmate, my best friend.

    The girl asked me if I liked Philipinas and I said well I like all women regardless of color and all that. I told her I was more concerned about her personality, heart, and so on. This girl said well I have some cousins and friends in the Philippines that I can contact you with. The first person she gave me to contact was my current wife. I had her Yahoo e-mail and just left it sitting on my desk in my barracks room for about 2 weeks. I was running through my mind do I really want to talk to her and especially do I really want to do the long distance relationship thing. Finally, I decided what the hell can it hurt, so I sent her a request on yahoo and she accepted it almost right away. We started talking and from then on almost every night for me day for her we talked on yahoo and on cam. Now I 100% agree with you Reekay doing this by internet you have to really careful.

    Here’s what I figured out to do and it worked perfectly for me. When we would talk there was certain questions I would ask her at times and I would note her response and then ask her again sometime later down the road to see if I would receive the same response. Then part of this plan of mine was to meet her in person and ask the same questions again then. Not one question I did this with was ever answered differently, even in person. We talked online for 2 years before we finally met in person. When I returned from Afghanistan in 2010 I got my ticket and went to visit her, I will admit I was already in love with her before I met her in person but on the other hand didn’t allow myself to be too emotionally involved until after we met in person. When I came here to the Philippines we decided to stay at a hotel for the 2 weeks because I wanted to see how we got along being around each other all the time on a 24 hour basis, everything went perfectly.

    I came back in July 2011, our intentions then was to get her a visa and go back to the U.S. A. but in the end I loved it here and she didn’t really care about going to the U.S.A. all she wanted was a loving, caring, faithful, secure and honest man to spend the rest of her life with. To make this already too long of a story shorter we are now married in 2013 on our sons 2nd Birthday. We just decided to live here because I am on a limited budget beings I get paid from the V.A. for my disabilities from the military service. I just told her If she didn’t see going to the U.S.A. as a must then I would be just as happy living here, so we stayed because we both agreed as long as we are together that’s what mattered most to both of us. It’s so much easier to live on my pension from the V.A. here than it would be in the U.S.A. as well.

    We are going to start building our house hopefully in October of this year 2017. to you guys out there thinking about coming here to find a wife just follow what Reekay told you and you will be just fine, his article was right on point in all areas he spoke about. So, if you want a wife this is the place to find one. Me personally I would tell you to never mind the dating sites and just shop around when you get here because you won’t believe just how easy it is here to find a beautiful, loving, caring, honest, faithful woman. Just for fun some of my buddies and I were drinking some beer in Digos city and considered the offer from one of my friends there to go to the mall down the road and if one of us could get 50 phone numbers in an hour he would give that person 1,000 pesos or in American about $20 to $25 depending on the exchange rate.

    Yes, it still would have been a bit of a challenge but doable for sure, yes it’s just that easy here lol. But also heed to what Reekay said if your just wanting some Asian strange go to Angeles city or the many other areas of the Philippines where that is available. My wife is one of 3 daughters of a rice farmer, yes as we say in the U.S.A. “a country girl”, here on Mindanao Island. Yes where all the fighting with the rebels is going on right now, but far enough from me that I am not worried. I do keep my head on a swivel at all times lol. I live in between Davao city and Cotabato city basically. So, Reekay if you come to Mindanao sometime I want to extend the same invitation you did the guy in the comments to stop by and have a beer, well or more with me, just let me know if and when you will be on Mindanao and where and if need be we can just meet somewhere or I will give my exact location to you then. I will still have to meet you probably because it’s kind of out of the way in the jungle somewhat lol.

  128. The whole Philippines thing has changed my life. I first went to Cebu on a business trip about 6 years ago, to deal with a call center there. I was feeling like crap from the very long plane flight, so I signed up for a yoga class (I’m so bad at yoga but it does make you feel quite good!). Anyhow the teacher was a crazy crazy hot miniature Asian girl who as I recall was about 22 (I was in my late 40s). I never once in a billion years would have thought I had a chance with her and I didn’t even seriously entertain the idea. But she asked if I wanted to go get something to eat after class, so we did. She came back with me to my hotel room, stayed over, and I had to bite my lip to prove I wasn’t dreaming. She asked me if, when my meetings were done, I would take her on vacation. So I did — we went to Sabang Beach in Palawan for a week.

    When I came back, I think I was quite different. The many American women I know who I was formerly kind of attracted to — in their 30s and 40s and sort of cute, some have kids etc. — I was not at all attracted to any more. It was like that thing in the clever Amazon ad in the Super Bowl where Gordon Ramsay yells, “PA-THET-IC!!!” I was like, in my head: you ladies don’t have even the slightest clue of what simple honest hotness is.

    Over the years I have dated a few more filipinas, each of them absolute stunners who would stop traffic if in the USA. You don’t have to use a dating site. If you see a cute filipina on Facebook, just send her a quick message and chances are she’ll reply. Not always, and sometimes the conversation just doesn’t “take”. But it often _does_ work. Good heavens, I met a beautiful 73-lb 4′-9″ girl on Facebook who claimed to be 18. Turns out she was really 17 and a virgin. We just waited 7 months and then had dates in person on one of my trips there. It was the most normal thing in the world — a so-so-looking tall Ami guy in his mid-50s and a stunningly hot, tiny tiny little filipina who is smart and bubbly and resourceful. Speaks absolutely perfect English. We’ll see where it all goes but I don’t see any reason why it couldn’t work out if she wants to come over here.

    At any rate the whole thing is nuts. I can’t say I love the Philippines as such — it’s dirty and overcrowded and has a terrible air of utter stupidity — but some of these girls have literally changed the way I think about life. Get remarried to a grey-haired American lady with an attitude who’s my age, or a lovely, kind young lass from the Philippines who oozes sex and goodwill and honesty and simplicity? … I don’t reckon it’s much of a choice!!!

    1. i can relate. i’m “spoiled” now. american women have nothing i want from a woman. filipinas have made my life so much happier. 🙂

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