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Author: Reekay V.
Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.
Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay
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Here is a link to the article I wrote about dealing with toxic people;
http://lifegoeson.net/lifes-too-short-and-too-grand/
Very powerful words, and I completely agree. I quit dealing with toxic people years ago. I recommend you, your videos, podcasts for all to listen to and to really think about the lessons that you are teaching that i have been thinking about for years. You are right on target with a lot of your subjects and solutions and thinking.
Thanks for doing such good work Reekay.
http://www.youtube.com/mangshawn
Reekay, enjoyed listening, a lot of truth in those words. Spoke to Ray a few days ago, I plan to be there again in Dec-Jan timeframe.
Best Regards from the Rat Race…
Excellent topic and podcast! When we were young we knew it all! When seeing our life backwards just can see it very different way what was what matters after all. About the money you mentioned a Bible verse 1 Timothy 6:10 and I agree what you say when it is good to have when needed! Most people CAN arrange their situation if the really want it so, especially in a western world, some not for example in a third world countries. The verse 10 in our Bible translation says the LUST of the money which I think is more closer for a Creek language meaning for the purpose of that original word for Finns at least. Many people just don`t read the whole verse…what it cam CAUSE for them, as just thinking this wealthy what money brings. It says in English and in Finnish almost the same meaning :…In striving for it (money) some have wandered away from the faith and have pierced themselves with many sorrows. ( many kind of sufferings, say another newer version )
So, money is good when needed and as you mentioned you can do a lot of good things through this, but what is that lust of money? Can it be …like Boney M sings “money, money, money, must be funny in a rich man`s world and when a rich man has it enough? One of my friends answered that it`s only 1 word and that is MORE! Then you are not satisfied and to get more money is a goal and purpose to get more, more, more! Loosing a bit of it you have to get it BACK because you love it more to LIVE your life forgetting the simple truth which amazing movie “Citizen Kane” by Orson Welles tells what is most dear and love at the end when you already had it all. I don`t tell that if you still didn`t watch that great movie, so didn`t spoil the end of the movie.
I once visited in Switzerland to meet one VERY rich family in capital Bern and noticed their wealthy so that there really was nothing they couldn`t just buy if they wanted to. Still “the head of the family” did drive a very simple 16 years old Mercedes and sail with a small sailboat for only carrying max 4-5 person even their “cottage” on the shore of Lake Interlaken was worth for some 10 “normal houses” etc. As did asked the daughter of that family, she just explained , because my dad loves his old CAR, BOAT etc more than money and ENJOYS what he can have and DO with those, repairing himself when some parts broken and so…
That was a good lesson for me in my early years that LOVE is more DOING than HAVING!
‘Citizen Kane’ is one of my favorite movies. If you remember the scene where he gets married to a simple, but happy woman, and then is too busy to spend time with her, she spends all her time doing crossword puzzles and turns to drinking. I’ve seen that happen with expats. They assume they want to get married, but then you see them living like a single guy while their wife is living alone or tending to the family. Or she just sits for hours while he talks to friends as she keeps herself busy on a cell-phone. Whenever I see that, I think of Citizen Kane.
Absolutely a masterpiece of the movies! Yes, this happens too often, I`ve seen, not only with the expats, but I would claim more often there. It`s when you think yourself more than your spouse…for me, me, me mentality. Speaking about OUR Filipinas, just to enjoy their company, as much as it pleases us and our needs and deal with them from above as like “the owner” and not as like a partner. “Time is money” and have to think carefully with whom we spend and give that,
for if not the other half of our body and soul (mate).
II was an ABBA song!
“Money, money, money, must be funny in the rich man`s world…..” 🙂
ABBA Ruotsi Kyllaeae?
Always a good commentary. Money is important in our material world, and our parents and schools spoke of dreams, rather than the reality of which career fields will actually pay out down the road. I’ve had to face existential moments that shattered the childhood indoctrination and delusion that provides narcissistic supply. Everything from Santa, romantic love and the invisible man in the sky are a fantasy that had to be reckoned with from an analytical perspective. This goes against the corporate objectives of keeping the masses on the plantation gladly willing to sacrifice themselves for state and church. For most, it is too painful to remove these indoctrinated defense mechanisms they hold as self-evident and which provides narcissistic supply. Those who do not understand you or who despise you because you’re a potential threat of their psychological defense mechanisms, are best avoided. I believe we need to honestly evaluating which locations to relocate to that would be the most agreeable and suitable. Most existentially, is accepting our life is shorter than we imagined and that everything is not permanent.
I am turning 67 in Nov. and never married as you already know. I started several businesses since graduation from college and made many mistakes along the way. I dated many women and a few were serious and I enjoyed them all………….as you said “nothing lasts forever” and the theory of Relativity is true I think………..what is one man’s trash is another man’s treasure…….I have become somewhat of a minimalist in my later years..(I let my yard grow wild and collect rain water to flush the toilet…….would like to make my own compost toilet actually and live in a smaller cabin in my back yard…etc. etc.)…………..but in truth, what I now see as many changes I would do over only brings me back to the fact that I am still making mistakes today and I will tomorrow……………(hopefully not the same ones, but sometimes that happens too)…………………I am sure I fell down many times as a baby first learning to walk……..what if I lived to 100………….that is another 33 yrs. from now……………..I bet I would look back on my actions and decisions being made today and say……….ooooooohhhh…if I only knew then what I know now….it seems no matter where we are in life and our age………..we always think at that point in time that we have found truth and wisdom………..we seem to never learn as we should
great podcast reekay lately been along thinking along the same lines and you’ve just confirmed it ,again thanks for the podcast its helps a lot .
After a long and tortuous (full of twists and turns) life, I have found some peace cultivating silliness as a character trait. It makes other people laugh, makes and keeps friends, and allows me to sleep at night.
When confronted with the inevitable goblins in the World, here’s what I think:
http://www.familytreecounseling.com/marksblog/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/monkeys-3.jpg
Reekay…you are not alone…just pulling some bits of my own writings of past, relative to this topic, in part.
Let me touch on your 3 topics of Money… Relativity or non-permanence… and Negativity or (anger)
Just for fun
#1…MAKE BELIEVE
Billions of dollars, invest makes believe,
said product of worth, brainchild of man.
How may we manage, make us a living?
Push up desire, made up in mind.
All that exists, comes with a price:
value is placed: believe it and pay.
Supply / demand works, deal on the wheel,
stretched beyond measure, ridiculous highs.
Nike has mastered deception of nonsense:
teenagers play a super-starred game.
Marketing’s brilliant, hook, line, and sinker:
Let’s not stop there. Consumer pays more.
Luxury world, house to car’s diamonds,
embroider the linings, all are assumed.
Just cause it’s rare, why are you gullible?
Play as in sucker, think we have more.
The rare isn’t rare, just means there is less:
a diamond is what? Piece of a rock.
Egos are whip lashed, staying the pace,
jerked back and forth, caught up in mind.
The value’s non real as gold equals dirt:
perception of such, placement, illusion.
Unconscious we play, concept’s attached,
conditions as such, humans wake up.
Said reason for logic:
debt carries stress.
#2…CONSTANT CHANGE
Constant right, constant wrong,
changes daily, constant change:
one day right, one day wrong,
now is right, next day wrong.
Change is right, rite of change,
constant right, always wrong.
Always wrong, that’s not right,
sometimes right, sometimes wrong.
Subject in moment knows world in moment,
next moment comes, may be right, may be wrong.
Truth re coordinates conditions per second:
be upon overview – constantly changes.
Some things are constant,
valued, untouched:
underlies thinking,
ethics, a must.
#3…WITH ANGER, WITHOUT
Owner of anger is structured of self:
angered inside, world’s seed? no, yours.
Reaction is yours, you now own the poison,
what am I saying? you have dis-ease.
World ways as is, your choice to react:
acquire inner peace,
acquire inner anger.
Example of sorts, comments on blogs:
who’s in from hell, others with grace.
Opinion mirror’s makeup,
soundings repeat self:
such is the case, inside of anger.
Least peace flows calm reason,
held anger, reasons hate.
There lies the balance:
vibration’s – your choice
well spoken, very realistic…..thanks for sharing
Reekay, We’re you ever a Priest?
No. I did study for 4 years to become a pastor/missionary from the time I was 18 until 22. However I later decided that wasn’t the life for me and by that time already had a family to care for. (I got married at 19, had my first son at age 21.) Over the years I have done some teaching and even wrote a cross-referenced commentary on one of the gospels which took me 2 years to write. I happen to enjoy studying so I have a very strong background in theology over the years.
What a great podcast. You are spot on!
I just hit 62 and as they say, the more I think I know the more I really understand how much I don’t know.
When ever I’m wondering what to do next, how to make my life better or if I’m just a little down I watch one of your videos or I come to this podcast and I’m always uplifted in some way.
You do a great job and I wish great things for you.
Thanks for all your videos and your radio show.
Jon
Thanks again Reekay..Always great to take in your wisdom. Most of all at my age and giving my highs and lows I have been though, it is too self destructive to let negative people get under my skin. I get it from family and neighbors. I call it my force field slash my personal space. There is a higher calling for joy and happiness and that’s the voice I hear.. thanks again Reekay..
Just google *pimping parents Philippines* and read. Personally I will stay neutral. Choosed Nicaragua.
I can’t help to think “What do your Teenage Sons in CA ” think of all of what your doing now in life ? Do any of them GET IT ? Or are they shaking their heads in disbelief.
Love you Videos and Podcasts.
I suppose it depends on what you mean by “doing now in life”. Are they glad I’m finally retired after working for decades to provide for them? Yes! When I sat down with them and informed them of my plans to move to the Philippines, the consensus from them was, “You’ve always been there for us. Now it’s time for you to do something for you.”
My three sons and daughter are a tight group and we communicate honestly. When it comes to me in a relationship with a younger woman, one son has no strong feelings about it. Two of my sons and my daughter have cultural issues with it, but at the end of the day they understand that it’s just ‘different’ than how things are done in western society. but it doesn’t affect our love for each other as family. (side note, my ex-wife is supportive and glad for me that I have a good relationship here in the PH.)
As for the overall lifestyle of being an expat and living outside the USA indefinitely.. it’s not for them Nor would I expect it to be. One is working on his doctorate in nanotechnology, another is working for Pepsi and taking good care of his family. Another son is running a successful moving company and my daughter expecting her first child. Living overseas is not on the radar for any of them. My oldest son has been to about 4 other countries within Asia and Europe, so he’s done the most travel of the four. He was also stationed in Okinawa for several years. But travel is not a priority for any of them at this point.
This is a very powerful podcast. I listened to it twice as I was cleaning my room 🙂 I think you would be a great motivational speaker. I really like the style of how you talk and discuss topics.
Thanks. I hope to make some positive difference. Helping people avoid future problems by understanding the dynamics in play.
Reekay, from listening to this pod cast, I can see that my life lessons learned later in life, are not unique to me. Having left school quite young, i went into work force not knowing what i wanted to do or be. I’ve done a lot of jobs in my years been in the military and then later went back to school and became a qualified counsellor, a clinical hypnotherapist. later I enrolled in Psychology degree with the intention of doing a masters degree in Counselling and Psychotherapy. Like you Ive also been fascinated in why people do what they do, however covering a lot of theory really didn’t teach me that much, and again like you mentioned, I also thought that being poor but a diligent student, was somehow one day going to make me successful. Sure I’d earned my qualifications the hard way, never ever having had that much money…then coming to the realization in my 40’s that Id never practice as counselor or hypnotherapist, as I could never afford the expensive professional controlling Annual Registration memberships fees to stay registered. It is a rich man’s game.
The one consolation with professional counselling, was that I was able to use those skills by listening to the sick and the dying, as I worked night shift for a nursing agency in a number of hospitals and nursing homes to make ends meet. That situation was depressing most of the time, so I’d save my dollars and travel in Asia and Philippines, then write my stories and post my photos on what was then a web site called Travel Pod. I did this as i found travel and writing to be Therapeutic, or as Freud would have termed it cathartic.
You are correct money does not make us happy, but abject poverty does not make us happy either. I know Ive s experienced quite a bit of the latter by following the misguided path of wanting to be altruistic and do so much good not really waking up…until I realized that sweating on that masters degree was just going to give me just another piece of picturesque e wall paper , plus huge student debt.
I had decided that Philippines would be the best shot, having been there a few times now and totally relating to what you say…some of which I had experienced first hand but now with maybe 7 yrs working life left I am shoving away what money I can, so I will have maybe a decent retirement. Money does give a person the power of choice in a lot of cases, and that has been my life’s lesson…albeit later in life than most of my friends with wife and families.