Author: Reekay V.
Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.
Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay
I Recommend Christian Filipina Dating.. https://bit.ly/christian-filipina-dating
How I Transfer Money.. http://bit.ly/transferwisereekay
Airbnb Is How I Travel.. http://bit.ly/airbnb-reekay
How I Auto-Post to InstaGram.. http://bit.ly/autopost-to-IG-Pinterest
My MP3 Podcasts on Dating.. http://bit.ly/ReekaysTravelMP3s
Expat Health Insurance Quote.. https://bit.ly/expat-health-insurance-quote
===============================================================================
In this video I discuss, “Married Life | Single Life – In the Philippines”
Get my exclusive videos in the Youtube Membership area.
At https://bit.ly/exclusive-reekay-content
Online Video Facetime w/Reekay.. http://bit.ly/reekayfacetimeconsult
===============================================================================
FIND ME AT;
MEWE.. https://mewe.com/i/reekayvelez
InstaGram.. https://www.instagram.com/reekayinasia/
Everything-Asia.. http://www.everything-asia.com
My main-blog.. https://lifebeyondthesea.com
** Gummy Bear Fund.. https://www.paypal.me/reekay
Vi’s Channel.. https://bit.ly/everything-with-vi
===============================================================================
Get USA Shopping Sent To You Abroad.. https://bit.ly/USA-Shopping-Sent-Abroad
Filipina K1 Visa Processing.. https://bit.ly/filipina-K1-visa
— View My Videos by Category here.. http://bit.ly/reekays-video-playlists
===============================================================================
— Get Vietnam Visa Online.. http://bit.ly/vietnam-visa-online
===============================================================================
[The links in my Description box may contain affiliate-links. If you buy something through one of the links, you won’t pay more, but that company will share with me a small commission to keep the channel going. Thanks in advance!]
I have to many wife’s in Philippines but never got married thank God they had to many boyfriends with Boom-Boom !! LoL Never get married in Philippines if you know whats good for you to many girlfriends got pregnant with other guys !!
The bottom line of this entire topic comes down to this: the only ‘why’ anybody does anything is for one of two reasons: to avoid pain or to gain pleasure, and we will do more to avoid pain than we ever will to gain pleasure. This basic aspect of human nature makes this topic so
subjective that all of our responses can simply be summed up as “This is what works for me at this stage of my life.”
I get the feeling of a pendulum but more accurately there is a balance between seeking fresh and exciting experiences and reaching familiarity and trust repeatedly. Does NOT have to be an alternating cycle. Women want fresh too. Women are fluid. Many pinays are open minded. Now Pinays are selosa…BUT BUT BUT more than anything Pinays want to be WITHHHH their partner and know they are THEEEE priority. A lot of expats like to say they are open minded….NOW if they really mean it….they can arrange their lives with open minded pinayS to BALANCE BOTH NEEDS SIMULTANEOUSLY. Real maturity. Kita kits!
One of your best videos yet Rick
Burt Reynolds at end of his life i should have married sally field
Brad Pitt i should have married Jennifer Anderson
Jim Carrey i should have married Rene Zellwegger
Do u want to eat the same meal everday year in year out ?
if u get to that stage in your 70s your better off dead
He started banging on that piece of metal about the time you were saying life has a way of making
life complicated!
in the province.. it was either crowing roosters or the neighbor’s karaoke. in cebu.. it’s some guy banging on a piece of metal.
update: it’s oct/22 and every now and then.. he’s still banging on whatever it is.
TRUE
“If I don’t settle down soon, I will find myself alone in an unfamiliar place.” – Good point that life has a way of making life complicated. We can’t get away from everything, but we can share some of it to make things easier also.
I’m on the verge of getting married. We have been together for two years, and I have been very certain and sure of my plans, my feelings and our relationship until now. I trust her absolutely 100%, she is trustworthy, loving and caring. But she is also a hothead, messy and childish sometimes. I choose to work with what we have, noone and nothing will ever be perfect, it becomes what you put into it, I believe…
yes, since all humans are imperfect, it makes sense that any relationship requires some ‘work’ and patience. it’s just a matter of ‘how much’ imperfection a particular person can tolerate. 🙂
I have stayed here in Cebu City exactly 8years on this date.. I had my first pinay gf, when i was here on vacation for 4th time in 2011. That means i still stayed in my country then.. She was okay when i was here but as soon i was back in my country, it was only asking money. The first time i stayed here, i had some short reltionsip before 1 that last for almost 2 years. Just out of the blue, she start meet her ex pinoy and strt be away up to 2 weeks at the time and she startdd lie. Then i had some short relationships again and that was going on until 20198.. I have traveld around in 16 countries but never been to a country where its so easy to find gf, as herein The Philippines. Its seems like they really need a partner here, like if single that means they are ugly or something wrong with the person. I also noticed that they start relationship, sex and pregnancy verry early here and many are married before age 30. Average age of living, is verry low and same with age as senior citizen. That means the life is short here and that is a problem for many westerns in rs with a pinay. If plan something 6 months or a year ahead, its sounds like a lifetimes for local people. I just doubt more and more, if i even want to get married because i dont need that to be happy or show that am serious. Am very serious about financial and do what i plan. I get happy every time i reach my goals. Just go around in a bubble, no plans, dont collect knowlage or understand whats important and less important.. There is nothing i can get out of a rs than i cant get out of a friendship and i see who to really depend on here.
You are retired living in third world country. Are you from Mexico originally?
i’m not retired.. i’m semi-retired. 🙂
not from mexico, i am 3rd-generation american.
ph is often called a ‘3rd-world’ country, but actually that terminology became obsolete decades ago. it is actually a ‘developing nation’. more on that here..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mZY25uBoX0
Well, if you’re marrying somebody who has not got any life experiences then it then will be your liability to teach them that. One cannot have naivety hand in hand with a PhD.
i discussed that in detail here.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znSN9B1GHuk
Reekay, can you do a video on golf courses ? Incldunding prices of courses, caddy , is motorised carts compulsory etc ?
What about LOVE? Have you ever really loved anyone?
Happiness comes from the Greek word happenings. Hence to make and keep someone happy you have to continuously make things “happen”. There that only took 20 seconds not 20 minutes!!
A housekeeper and cook separately is cheaper than a wife so that doesn’t have to be an issue! You can still have a long term relationship where you don’t live together and be fulfilled. Because wives leave cheat and die like anyone else.
I have chosen to keep off the dating sites for a few reasons. I am at the older age, and have a few medical conditions, which seem to be getting progressively worse. I agree with much of what you say. I met a few scammers online where they are and account for the majority. I am not going to give specifics because each individual is different, If and when I do visit the Philippines is when I will check out Filipinas. It is wrong to fall for the first person. Even if you chat on a site you dont know that person, even if you have skyped, you dont know anything , like you said you need to live with a person for a min. of six months to see what they are like.
Sounds like MGTOW to me.
Great delivery of great material, gives one a lot to think about and consider. Videos of this type are when you’re at your very best. Thanks for valued service to all.
Why can we not simply do both short-term and long-term relationships? Why do we have to choose?
As an analogy, I am primarily a vegetarian, but sometimes I get bored and switch to a diet that includes meat. Then after a while, I feel I need to cleanse my body (or lose weight), and I start eating a plant-based diet again. You do not have to be one or the either…
Why do we have to choose whether to be a bachelor or a married man? I think it is possible to do both, over a period of many years.
The divorce rate in the USA also is more than 50%. It not so common to be married for life anymore.
Why not simply do “intuitive dating” (my invented term) and follow what feels right?
-Nils
In the philippine, by Philippine law the filipina owns 60% of everything, thats 60% of everything, even if your married with children.
If your older, never get married, just live with them
@Pat Aherne unfair.. just look at the guys coming out of family court
Hey Bill, why didn’t you tell Hilary that yrs ago, instead of sneaking around with all those women? Oh yea she already knew. That’s why she didn’t divorce you over Monica.
People should only get married for the right reasons…if they truly love each other, and trust each other, they should get married, becoming one in the eyes of the lord.
Great video Reekay, I can relate to a load of that. I know at my age that I have no desire to marry again, there is nothing I feel I would gain from it. I’m an independent type of person, and I’m never lonely even though I’ve been divorced and lived alone for twenty five years. I hate any form of routine, and some partners struggle with that, I like new experiences, new places. The best part of a relationship for me is the honeymoon phase. That can last for many months, or even a few years, but it has always ended eventually . People change as routine kicks in, and start to act differently to one another. I love having a long term relationship, but I can live without one. There are still plenty more new places to see, I never get bored with travel, and it’s never become routine. Good topic as always, thanks for sharing.
Yes, and my freedom is key to my happiness, to go wherever I want, when I want. That’s why this pandemic is really affecting me. I ran my whole life around my work, wife and kids. Now I’m retired, my wife is long gone and my kids are all grown up with their own families. Now it’s my time, and I won’t run it around anyone else again. I’m far from selfish, but it’s what I want to do now. People are welcome to come along for the ride, but I will decide where that ride will take us.
yes, there’s no way around it.. having someone live with you cuts into your freedom. at least, if you want to remain a considerate person. but when living alone with no commitments, you can literally decide and take action on anything at any moment.
I was actually hoping that you would have taken this video in the direction of what to do when you do reach the age of infirmity and really need the assistance of a trusted partner to not only take care of you, but to make decisions in your best interests. I know you are not in that stage of life yet but what happens if your mental capacity really starts to decline and you need your Filipina to do your financial transactions for you. Perhaps you can brainstorm and make a video of the different ways to trust someone without losing all of your control.
Marriage for a man is a financial disaster waiting to happen…
that is true, for ‘many’ men. but not for all. i’ve met men who married a filipina and, because of that are now very wealthy with the resort and land they own that they couldn’t have had as a single man.
it always comes down to the character of the people involved. marriage itself is not the culprit.
Marriage is a hope for sure. I was married almost 30 years. She died of cancer. It has its ups and downs. Dating all the time is not without challenges either.. some of them you mentioned. Would I get married again just for someone to take care of me? I don’t think so. I’m 60 so I figure in 10 years I’m circling the drain. Ha… I might be already and just don’t know it. Either way, do I want my last few years of life to be all about someone else and a relationship? I think that is the $64 question. I’ve been alone long enough to know I don’t need it. I can function all by myself and live a whole lot cheaper. I’m leaning toward staying single sans relationships. A lot to be said about freedom. Peace ✌
Explaining pendulum…
Its when that pendulam stops swinging,time is at a stand still,when the past and present collide …..hindsight ,life experience and thoughtful contemplation of all that has been now is gives a better perspective to the future.
yes, i’ve been at that juncture myself several times. a good moment to get some clarity.
If anyone is considering marriage they most certainly should have a prenuptial agreement before even considering the idea. If anything, marriage shouldn’t be a tethering of finance and romamce, it should be more symbolic, if that. I have also witnessed very abusive caregiver with some of my elderly relatives who stayed single into their older years and it’s sad to see them endure that but having a spousal caregiver is no guarantee that abuse will not occur in your later years. It’s very true about unhappy people seeking a spouse to provide them with happiness.
Reeky hi. I know you are a wise person with plenty of experiences. But keep in mind
the one wants to marry first know what is the purpose of marriage ? Most marriage does not work if we do not answer this question. I m not really a person play around and be with so many girls.
I use to live in the Philippines almost 6 years straight and 17 years, 3 times a year each time one month come and stay there. If you find ifffffff a good filipina woman life will be sweat but What I saw there women majority are looking for someone to pay their expenses have a child with him and if he wants to go he is welcome after leaving all his assets there for her.
Marriage wherever not only in the Philippines but all around the world is the same. Should,d know what is the purpose of marriage . The rest will be solved after we answer to this question first. Marriage for wrong reason is nothing but stupidity.
The motives for marriage must be accessed. Being a relatively very poor country the motives I assume for most Filipina is a priority of financial support and security from that, whether for herself or her family. There is nothing wrong with that unless it is not stated somehow, in some way, there is practicality to the motives, it does not negate some sort of affection between each other will not exsist. The love factor as we mature we realize that is indeed it is rare thing, those who are fortunate enough to find it. The motives being financial support and security is not necessary reflects how the woman will treat you, her honesty and her loyalty, but you must realize these ladies are looking for a better life as a priority and not love or affection. They have to offer their youth and the pleasures that can bring you.
@Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea if the reverse was possible, foreign men will have many disadvantages such as age, not wanting children, needing Care etc Thus, i suggest with respect Reekay, that Motive 1, money is the primary asset and benefit. In a generation where materialism is almost a religion. For myself my intention is to keep as a par value to wife controling my own wealth but also providing the opportunity to accumulate her own.
This symbiosis is based on certain mutual benefits, if onesided too much can fail.
@Ally Khan good observation. given your hypothetical, i believe women with their own finances would seek out a man based on the criteria of presumed integrity. women are not visually-motivated to the degree men are. and taking money out of the equation, what women want most from a man is faithfulness. which she could find in either a filipino or a foreigner, on a case by case basis.
@Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea if we were to reverse the roles, that expats were financially dependant on a spouse and filipinas were looking for a potential spouse, would they choose foreigners over filipinos? I doubt it, thus financial outlook is very intregal to their decision making. The relationship should try to be as nornal as can be, especially if a young girl is involved. Do they want children a home and reliable sourve of income? Or do really expect them Not to want this? Without expats financial advantages these relationships for the most would never even begin.
I would keep a filipina as close to the same par value as marriage but not civil marriage, as the primary motive is normally money, that is best controlled by its owner. This is a general statement i am sure there are many exceptions.
i’d only add that most expats looking for a wife are also looking for a ‘better life’. just not financially, but in companionship.
Heeeyyyyyy Reekay,your videos are becoming more like the good old days,good to see you back as a cool dude.
Glad you like them!
V is gone huh? You’ve done a video just like this after each of, significant other
no, vi and i are doing great. i talked about staying together as well as not having a steady g/f in this video.
That’s another deep subject each must search his own mind to find out what he can and can’t do without me I’ve been alone for 10 years not dating no one or nothing So yeah I reckon I’m pretty content with myself but when I get back to the Philippines all that may change because 10 years you look back on it and it makes you realize how much more fun you could have been having and you don’t have no one in your life so it’s a deep subject one just has to contemplate his self
yes. but it’s a two-edged sword. who knows whether that ‘other life’ would have led to some disaster. would it have been the better option? we may never know.
I’m married but now and then wish to be single – LOL natural isn’t it? There are planty of girls around who’d love to be GF’s. Maids with “benefit” is a total NO GO! It simply can’t work.
the few guys i’ve talked to who got intimate with their maid, it ended with drama. suddenly the ‘maid’ on a payroll figures she is now the g/f and doesn’t need to do the work of a maid anymore.. but still expects that paycheck. it’s not long after that, things fall apart.
Hi Reekay, this is Gary from the Maryland, USA. I enjoy and get so much good information from your videos and other vloggers that I follow have expressed praise for your channel as well. Your relationship seems to be going well – do you plan to marry V at some junction in your relationship? Has she expressed a desire to be married?
both vi and i are of the same, “no hurry” mindset about marriage. neither one of us wants to make a commitment hastily.
I am very happy being married. Some people like being married and some don’t. Different strokes for different folks.
yes, not everyone wants the same things in life. and that’s totally ok.
Going into a relationship it is fundamental to know what is your objective. Ultimately if you don’t have a relationship objective, do not commit to a relationship.
Credit: that was from a video from 21 Studios, speaker “Socrates”
and going in with no plan can so easily lead to being taken by the flow of what everyone else wants. (her and her parents) and not for the right reasons.
Starting at Ayala mall. Was that Red Lizard?
yes. unfortunately, red-lizard has been closed since march, even now. most other places re-opened in the mall, but not them. i like their chicken or pork burritos the best. i just wish they had spicier hot sauce.
related videos i’ve done…
3 Things to Know Before Getting Married.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ2KElRSkZ0
Is Marriage For Suckers.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIfUylMYYzA
Pros/Cons of Single Life.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqvQTXg4Sx4
i am coming to the philopines to meet my one and only girl and i can already tell that this is going to be the most complicated and hardest endever that i have ever tried . i am one of those guys that hates the begging or getting to know them in person phase . its just the fear of the unknown . i am so used to being single , and i don,t like complicated .
start in an easy place to live in the ph.. like mactan, cebu or tagbilaran (bohol). then venture out once settled in.
Also – you forgot to mention if you take them back to your home country you have added expense of schooling so thy learn your langauge, drivers license, getting them a job which could be challenging, and providing medical coverage for them. Alot of expats marry them bring them back to there home country then decide to go back and retire in her country then have major medical problems and want to go back to there country but have sold out (sold the house , trailer, car, ie.. ) have no contact and have to integrate back into there home country for proper need medical. I have even seen guys that do all the above and never got there wife or gf citizenship in there home country so they can take care of them medically. I guy ran back to the US from Thailand because of aging health and tried to get his wife citizenship at the last minute. He did it but =- but if he failed he would be alone in the US. Have a plan as you age or they will take your savings, ATM Card, and leave you in a wheel chair at the police station or in front of the hospital and disappear! Or if in Thailand they push you out or off of your condo. So, many aging expat just jump of buildings in Thailand? People say it is the mafai but those that have been around know the true story.
yes, that’s another big-ticket item to have settled in your mind ahead of time.. where to live. lots of expenses and risks with the relationship in taking a filipina back to one’s home-country.
Very insightful
Its that city is Cebu in Ayala Mall? Its that a new condos in the background or apartments???? Tell me.
i didn’t get a good look at them, but likely more condos in construction. near ayala mall.
I agree with you all your knowledge. My profile is famous all over Europe and Asia including media. I like to stay single. I still don’t like to get married. I want my freedom….
Great Video on reality: I have seen older guys get older and lose their mind or physical function and where basically hopeless asking or winning to their friends to take care of them. Sad situation. You need a young girl to take care of you. Develope a 10year relationship with a wife or gf half your age and you will be in a better situation. I have also seen where two people where married but grew old together and they could not help eachother with daily living functions so thye have to hire an attendent. Way better to secure a young girl and let th relationship grow and marry them. They will need full excess to you money and personal information. If you are not married she will have trouble fully access your funds and information to take care of you. Either you tust them and want to marry them or you don’t. Also, if you have benefits and want to take care of them so they can take care of you – it is better to marry them so they get your health benefits if you are on a pension and getting national medical plan through your employer. Just remember you get only what you put into the relationship. The last option is don’t get married until your 70 years old. This way you can be a player until you finally realize you will need someone you trust to take care of you. If not, the girl and her family will take all your money and drop you off at the hospital or local police office and disappear. I have seen this as well. It’s the same thing that happens when you life in the Phillipines or Thailand, or other asian countries for years and then you get in an accident it is clearly your neigbors fault or if you drops his scooter and does not even touch you or your car but shifted because he tried to avoid you. Your good neighbors that you have knon for years will run out of their house and take the neighbors side even if you are in the write. This will shock you put the same happens if you do not develope that relationship.
What you just described is how plenty of older guys lose a lot of money. You are foolish.
Its ridiculous to get married so in a few years she can take care of you. That is very selfish unless you have alot of money that she will get when you die.Your asking a young girl to be your nursemaid when she is in the prime of her life. Hire an attendant that’s a much better moral choice.
yes, a few years ago there was such a situation, with an expat who’s filipina g/f took him off his meds and he couldn’t think clearly. she robbed him and left him homeless there in dumaguete. some expats took him to cebu to try and get assistance for him. never did hear how that ended for him.
You may be missing the marriage concept of teamwork and partnership. My responsibilities weren’t doubled, they were cut in half. Income increased and decision making is shared. Makes life easier and more enjoyable for us this way. Sharing experiences with a life long partner doubles the pleasure. At least for us.
@Acr 931 Correct , but ask yourself this question .. if almost all the bloggers are 55 (SUPER PLUS) and yes they was married before and with family .. ?? a lot of them they took them to the cleaners,, ///SO from weare they keep on spending good amount of money (crying the same story to the girl that they meet ??) But one wy or the other money is always coming for them ..(always have a back up money ,,somewhere else)
@Neil Ramrattan yes but I think you are missing the point, the “majority” of expats are Not in your position, the majority of expats have been divorce court raped at some point in their lives and even though it might have been a while ago now – most of them are paying for it for a long time later. Therefore many or most of them have just a meager pension and maybe a few bucks aside and that it!.. my view for what it may be worth.
@Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea I think it depends on if an expat has enough income to support both. If I entered into a long term relationship with a filipina I would take care of her since I want someone to travel with me unencumbered. She could still have a career though. As long as it’s compatible with the outlook
with a filipina who has a career, yes.. income increases together. majority of the filipinas expats run into though are either making substandard wages or unemployed. especially now with the covid situation.
Great food for thought.
Fear of ageing includes fear of being disabled and unable to defend oneself. The terrible truth is there are no certainties of finding loving arms within which to spend your last days. Betrayals are as common as love.
so true.. no matter what the country or ages involved. 🙁
Married my Filipina 44 years ago. Lived in California 42 years. Now. Finally back . Bought 1.2 hectares and building a 4 bed 3 1/2 bath house in Magallanes Cavite where we’re going to have family move onto the property also.
so happy for the both of you. that is excellent news to hear.
Am sure many folks are envious of your ability to live on extended vacations from one country to the other..Good Luck to you.
i’ve been very fortunate over the years. i almost waited until end of march to leave vietnam. instead i chose to arrive in january, so my g/f and i have been able to be together.
So Reekay you’re getting married when????
jajajaj good question Bu t i think he is in the 5 years period …
neither vi nor i are in any hurry. we’ve talked about it a lot, and neither of us sees any point in making a decision for another 3-years or more. truly not in any hurry.
You summarized my feelings when you said “5 for 1 year or 1 for 5 years”. I’ll take the first option please and thank you. 🙂
I’ve been married twice – for 15 yrs and 9yrs, a few longish term relationships and many other gfs. Of course it’s all about trust and love in the beginning but that ALWAYS changes and quickly disappears when the money claws come out.
Marriage IMHO is obsolete. I’m not prepared to again risk the unfair financial hit that the man takes when it all goes south. You have an very good point though about the vasectomy, if you want to play, you should always be prepared to pay for any ‘family’ you create.
i’ve met many happily married expats with filipinas, so i know it is a reality. couples married for over 20 years. but as they say in the car commercials, “your mileage may vary”. each couple has their own unique chemistry and level of character (or lack of it) to work with.
This one very wise Older Gentleman who lived in both the Philippines and Thailand once told me this simple phrase: Woman want security and men want variety”
Women like security and variety.
very true. it’s what they are willing to do to get it that matters. that’s where the problems begin.
Just brilliant thinking and philosophy, thank you 😉
i hope it helps in some way. 🙂
Life has a way of making life complicated. Words of wisdom.
during my 30’s, i kept reminding myself, “life can turn on a dime in a new york second.”
Wow, a bunch of “red rockets” along the walkway and one heart. Is there a message here?
i think the ‘red rockets’ are folded-up table umbrellas. 🙂 the heart is there all the time in the terraces. 🙂
In the beginning phase or the “getting to know” the girl or boy, every persons makes DOPAMINE also called the love hormone. This hormone is produced in the brain and will only be produced when we have the love, exciting, butterfly in the belly feeling. For men it stays approx 6 months or less and for women approx 1 year or less. Now this feeling is superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sweet. Nothing can go wrong and the girl seems like the PERFECT MATCH, UNTIL the Dopamine wears off, now that giggle starts to work on my nerves…and so on. Most people don’t know about the Dopamine. It’s a fact and as soon as it wears off, It’s becoming boring and then they move on to a new one, where the Dopamine production start all over again. This way they are 24/7 7 days a week and 30 days a month IN LOVEEEEEE..which is an amazing feeling, I can’t deny. This is for the guys who are always with another girl. Now for the marriage part, I also had this question for a longggggggg time. WHAT is the difference between living together and getting married….it’s the part where I can say “THIS IS MY WIFE” and when I say this I get this nice and warm feeling something I did not had when I was living with someone, but was younger then. So YES age also has a lot of influence in this special feeling.
Keep up teh good work, Greetings from ARUBA .
love is a powerful drug. 🙂
The only upside of marriage is not being lonely
@Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea yes i totally agree
even then it’s not always an upside. as i’ve said so many times,
“i’d rather be alone, than be with someone wishing i could be alone.”
Great video, but I think you missed a little more of the positives, which is having a long term partner/wife that knows your likes, needs, expectations, and just the little nuances which make your life easier, and you know hers. For instance, I literally just missed a flight because I forgot to simply check in online for my flight. Its a smaller airport so, I know security would be minimal. Unfortunately the person had already left the gate, the kiosk wasn’t working, and now because it was 30 minutes before the flight, I had no boarding pass to get thru security, even though I could hear and see they hadn’t even started boarding yet…Now I sit at the airport watching videos for 8 hours BECAUSE my lovely wife usually checks us in online, and she wasn’t with me…
Sad
Nothing can replace what a dedicated wife brings to your life. There are legal estate issues that are a major factor too.
Why does any comitted relationship have to end in marriage….if the word wife means that much to her…he’ll I can refer to her as my wife,treat her as my wife….I don’t need a piece of paper to verify my commitment level….if she requires a piece of paper….than she needs to go through years…and be consistent in those years together,before I’d even consider giving her the marriage certificate
@Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea indeed….I’m 47…divorced with 2 grown kids…..I am of the idea, that having a gf is fine….but it would be years…kid or no kid….before I’d consider walking down the aisle again with any woman. I will have time rules that will have to be satisfied before that discussion would even happen
oh, that paper does mean something. if it didn’t, people would sign it in a heartbeat. 🙂 no divorce in the PH. if you want an annulment, plan on blowing about 2-years and several thousand usd to make it happen,
Good Vidio,Reekay,the word TRUST is not popular in Philippines,
most notably with LDR’s. so many sad stories there of trust that got abused in a partner’s absense.
Sounds like you’re screwed me LOL
If you find a good woman that understands you and you understand her, and you treat each other as equals and not investment. Then you can live happily ever after
Problem is the way the woman treats you while unmarried has nothing to do with the way she treats you and acts afterwards. I’ve been married to two Filipinos.
Interesting points to ponder, well expressed.
My choice is one solid committed relationship (marriage). Each person looking out for the interests of the other.
find someone who believes the same, and you’ve got a good shot at making it work.
I want to add something. It is better to find someone early; mid fifties to early sixties because building bonds and trust in a relationship takes time. You have to be vested in your partner and hope she feels the same way. Your maturity and life experience might help you make right choices; maybe or maybe not 🙂
Interesting vlog
thanks, hope it was interesting or useful.
Each to their own but you’re right. Happiness comes from within. No one else can make you happy. Gotta love yourself before anyone else can love you.
so true.
Good stuff. Morals. People need people. Its a great thought
Thank you for your video, this video will definitely help a lot of expats
i hope so. i can’t direct anyone’s choice. just lay out options, examine them for trends and hope it goes well.
Yeah maybe I missed it it was a good video on relationships and marriage but very little to do with the Philippines and the difference between the Philippines or any other country
If you’re over the age of ~40 and plan on spending time with a girl you met online or you plan on living in the Philippines then the subject of a vasectomy should be included in your predeparture checklist. If the guy doesn’t have one already, he should seriously run through the what ifs in his head. The other thing I will say is I have a good friend (a Filipina) who tried marriage with an old guy from the west and she was totally disappointed…these girls have expectations as well, this is something that must not be overlooked if an old guy is going to marry a Filipina.
@Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea …as you’ve seen, the surprise baby happens a lot to foreigners. It’s a huge complication for the dude, both mentally as well as the long lasting financial impact he will have to endure.
@J D the major cause of their fights was that he did not want her on Facebook talking to her lifelong friends, which included dudes. The fighting ended after two years, when she walked away from the marriage. She was 27 years old when their relationship ended.
@Bob Bruce running around with live-rounds comes with that possibility of a ‘surprise’ baby.
@J D likely, her hopes of having a baby if the guy already had a vasectomy.
In what way specifically was she disappointed?
So you trust a Filipino for your financials or your family members, my advice create a trust under your children name and give them power of attorney!!! Again no marriage no relationship just hookups , no stress no drama, and enjoy life, nobody can make you happy except yourself!!!
What a great video, thanks Reekay
You don’t need wife, hire a maid when you too old and need care, specially in Philippines, you can hire a maid with benefits and cost you less than your monthly Starbucks cost!!!
Bad idea!
and then hope that maid won’t rob you blind. most every expat i’ve spoken with who had a maid ended up dealing with theft as an issue for firing her.
Nice. What does monthly rate for a maid cost with benefits ? How many pesos. I just might get 3 of them.
Men are not designed to be with one woman, look at the history, many civilizations and religious groups allowed multiple wives and in my case and been in 3 failed marriages and lots of relationships, it is only good for few months then the hell breaks loose. So No marriage no long term relationship for me, only hookups, specially if you live in Philippines. My 2 cents and I am 72 years old, lol
Good job of making us all think about who we are, what we want and how to execute that with some grace and fairness. Wisdom dripping from the words. As soon as travel is open I am headed that way. Two failed marriages behind me. Comfortable alone but love to have a companion, but that is a high risk desire. Have an LTR going on now (we have met in person) but unsure of its long term survivability. I like the commonality and the repetitiveness and consistency. However, I have a less than stellar history of finding the right partner.
The point about age consideration in a relationship hits home with me. I am 71 and my Filipina fiancé is 51. I was looking specifically for a older Filipina, I wanted someone that matched my maturity level. Other considerations were children, family, and if is get sick who would help take care of me. We all want what is best for us but if I was to focus on who is going to take care of me that would go in the realm of selfishness .
I’m curious. If your spouse has not naturalized /dual, how would she be able to get any money/assets that you leave her when you pass unless you left it to her in the Philippines? I don’t believe she could go ti the US to take care of legal issues. They won’t issue a visa and I’ve heard it’s really difficult for Filipinas wanting to visit US with their American husband. If a trust with the American is set up, the trust may not be valid. I had a trust but it was mostly for the house (which we sold). All other assets were in something like a rollover will. My wife is dual so we don’t have that problem so we avoided the problem.
I have never had a relationship like one with my filipna but I also am a very independent guy I love my independence, the one thing I wish is I could bring her here to my home (usa montana) without having to marry her .marriage kills me scares the hell out of me,but I also know she feels empty without it .i love to make her happy but I just don’t think I could do it.
Do not take the flower from where it grew or it’s colors will change.
@Paul Thurson paul, true, but there are extra worries when bringing a foreign bride to America or other Western country, because you have to marry them to bring the to the West. Also, they will be rarer than they were back home (ifvthey are Asian), and the apps will give them easy access to many thirsty guys who might never plan to visit her country.
Glen, your instinct is correct. Better not to marry. Her “empty” feeling is valid but it’s also a handy cover for her not having legal rights to alimony, citizenship, etc.
@Major Ronald Mandell i have to agree. it is the minority of fil-am couples who remain together in the expat’s homeland. way too many factors working against them, versus staying in her country.
@Major Ronald Mandell
why you’ve got to be the best version of you .. on top of your shit so to speak to get and KEEP the best woman you can
Hi Reekay, I agree, it’so true. Better to have someone you can trust, I’ve been with my Filipino wife for 18 years and I have to say I haven’t regretted it for a minute. Greetings.
@Ahnnz Labajo Thank you dear.
Really good points for pondering
Good Video. I agree it depends on knowing yourself and what you want. I was married for 39 years & until it ended badly I liked being married. I never have been much of a player. I never cheated on my ex in all of those yrs. I usually know what I want and go for it. To me the best way of knowing that I love someone is when I put their happiness & wellbeing above my own, It isn’t natural, we are selfish creatures by nature. I do want to marry my GF but it would be easier if they would let me out of the house 60+.
Liked your comment, but disagree that humans are selfish by nature. Humans evolved in tribes, in families, took care of each other, defended each other, had defeats and victories together. It is thanks to lack of selfishness that humans are what we are today. North American culture teaches selfishness as a virtue, but that’s only the case in that 5% of the world population, and it’s a very recent thing when looking at it from a historical perspective. Men in the past have always put the needs of their wives and children above their own needs, why else is it that men went to war and worked in coal mines, and that’s still the case, to this day there is no war draft for women anywhere except in The Netherlands, and coal mines around the world have zero women working in them. Selfishness is decidedly against the nature of men. If you say selfishness is in a woman’s nature, however, I will not argue.
Someone to love and someone to love you. You used the word investment and that’s how I see it.
I just hope things will open up soon. Been with my fiance over a year now. Hopefully I will be able to make it back there in a few months. Reekay do you still think February for your prediction?
A healthy marriage has stronger focus on OUR friends, and much smaller on my/your friends.
My/your friends SHOULD be a smaller component, else it will eat into the quality of the marriage.
Meet with the guys a couple of times a year instead of per month. Group get togethers. Depends on how much you value your marriage, I guess.
@Barwin
Well, maybe.
Your friend will remain close if he is accepted into the “OUR friends” category.
Otherwise, you will be spending less time with him.
Ideally, your wife is your best friend, right?
which essentially describes the loss of close friends, in exchange for ‘new’ ones.
I’m sorry but meeting a guy friend a couple of times per year is not a friend, that’s an acquaintance.