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REP020 Long Distance Relationships – Best Way to Begin

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Author: Reekay V.

Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.

Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay


  1. What you’ll meet online is similar to what you’ll meet in person (except the fake profiles). It’s all about money to support their extended family, send money home like an OFW, have babies as their retirement plan, etc. As you say, you have to pretend to want to “Meet and marry” and really look like you want to be a “Provider Man”. You have to be a PC, white-knight tradcon, and speak of the virtues of Filipinas in their 30’s, single mothers and most of what you’ll actually find there (excluding the freelancers). However, a few men have woken up and don’t want to be “Provider” utilities to get pussy and choose the MGTOW lifestyle. MGTOW just want “long-time” romance with no marriage and children. Of course, if they admit this, they will get nothing (no utility value). So, they must get snipped, pretend to want marriage, speak of “relationship milestones”, etc. Great podcast as usual. NEVER MARRY AND USE PROTECTION. Do as you do, and keep up the pretense of wanting marriage. I’m not good at hiding I’m MGTOW, so it’s only freelancers or bar-girls. The dating sites are just for narcissistic girls seeking attention and money. The body language will always be about money. Just watch TLC’s 90 Day Fiance and watch the Pinay and Thai brides speak only of money and babies and how they don’t actually love their petitioners.

  2. MGTOW? OFW? I’m experiencing that now. Told her I’m not BDO Bank. I watch 90 Day Fiancé also!

    1. Paul G, I’ve been in Philippines maraming (many) times, and you have to watchful for some horrific scams. Assuming you have a “genuine” girl, it will be like what you see in the 90 Day show. You’re just a utility and the money you’ll be sending home after visa sponsorship increases over time; it’s never enough! Don’t be a utility, unless that’s what you really want in life. Also, love is hormonal and women fall in love with capturing resources, like us men reeling in a trophy fish. The hormones wear off fast when the fish is landed. So, just live-in with protection against pregnancy if you can (I could not, but Reekay did it – pretend it’s a trial marriage). The sad reality is, a woman’s love (passion) will rarely will last more than a year or two anyway. Peace!

      1. Thanks Bob,
        I appreciate your advice. I all ready told her I’m probably one of many boyfriends she messages on Facebook. She got upset when I said that. I have a back up plan. My heart won’t be broken.

        1. That’s good. As long as you remember to do like Reekay and not cave to marriage or children, even if the GF is young, hot and stays sweet (for awhile). You will always be in “the provider” box, not “the lover” box. That is something you can never overcome. Only young Alpha males, like the lalaki in their barkadas, fall into “the lover” box, never the foreigner. Any truths hit hard with Filipinas, logic and reason are highly repulsive. Fantasy and delusion is the realm they live in as it provides narcissistic supply and relief from their difficult caste.

  3. Another excellent podcast about the realities of the dating sites and the necessity of meeting them in person. I think even the 5% estimate of the online dating sites and “good” women may be high. In my experience it’s more like finding a pink unicorn lol.

    Also, I think a lot of men, even very experienced men, greatly underestimate the guile and sophistication of these doe-eyed super sweet young Filipinas. In a lot of cases entire families are involved in training and pushing their young beautiful daughters to go online and pitch as many men as possible in an effort to maximize the revenue potential. It is simply the business of verbal seduction and the love starved and love struck foreigner is the all too eager customer.

    It’s rare that anything will ever come of these encounters unless you thoroughly enjoy drama or you are a writer looking for story ideas for your novellas and soaps lol. The stories are endless and are recycled generationally. The sheer creativity is amazing. And make no mistake, if you are frequenting these dating sites as a way of contacting potential Filipina partners, she already knows she’s smarter than you at the game. If you talk long enough she will find a way into your heart and then she will play on your emotions and fears of “losing” her to extract money.

    It won’t seem like much to you until it does lol. Your idea of going over to the Philippines for a short vacation to size up a potential gf and then talk to her online before meeting her again in person sounds like a good option if it’s not possible to be there full time. At least you see her in person and have a chance to really see what motivates her and what her living situation really is. It’s really possible to hide almost anything in the Philippines online. It’s easier to find the red flags if you are there although that’s no guarantee either. But relying strictly online to “meet” a good Filipina is just an expedition in fantastical navel gazing.

    1. as i mentioned, even living full-time in the PH and seeing them every 2 days.. it still takes 2-3 months before the real filipina can be seen. with a true good-girl, there is no change. but after 2 months, the greedy or cheating ones can’t take it anymore and reveal themselves.

      1. Excellent thread. And, IMO, they will ALL change revealing themselves for their true motivation (which is filial piety, not love in the Western context). Peace.

  4. You always do a great job. Can I meet girls in Boracay, or is better to take one with me from a place like Cebu?

    1. boracay.. def bring a filipina with you. all the filipinas there are with a b/f who got them there. 🙂 the rest are busy working local girls. either legit or pros/freelancers along the beach and cocomango’s bar. and forget about picking up any of the many south korean girls. they aren’t there to date. so for boracay, best to bring your own filipina unless you plan to hit up the bars for pros.

    2. The freelancers you think you’ve met at a Cebu “disco” are just bar-girls off shift. Most regular Pinay won’t go with you to Boracay so you can have “fun” with them. The Koreans and other “herbivore” men vacationing from nearby Asian countries have driven up the sugar baby prices sky high for the Girl Friend Experience (GFE). Not sure after other costs which is better unless you’ve got a pinay who is convinced you’re thinking with your limbic system (little head) and can get you to marry her, or knock her up. “Oh honey, no condom, I want to feel you”. LOL

    3. Best place to meet Filipina girls is in the province, not big cities like Manila or Cebu. I’ve been in the Philippines 8-10 times, three to four months at a time. I found Cebu girls kinda stuck up and more materialistic than the provinces like visayas.

  5. Heeeyyyyyyy,Reekay,l see there has always been the story of the scamming filipina,how about he westerner who promises that they want a serious relationship with their lovers and only to walk away ones they have had their cake. Hhhmmmmm,

    1. I tell them I have zero interest in being a tradcon white-knight utility to support them, their extended families, give them children, visas, etc. Of course, they show no interest in me as a result. But, I have friends who pretend to want marriage and family who have vasectomies and get lots of action. So, it’s a matter of honesty. They will never live-in without a ton of money (sugar baby) or promises. But, they don’t love foreigners, so only idiots marry. This is evolutionary psychology. Women evolved a dual reproductive strategy. To seek Alpha “lovers” and Beta “providers”. They only stay in love with Alpha lovers, and even that isn’t very long in many cases. So, you can’t marry them. Be like Reekay and don’t marry even a young cute one and be snipped as they won’t use contraception. That’s reality 100.

      1. It looks like you’ve been burned and pissed off about marriage. You don’t seem like an alpha, beta or omega. Lol.

      1. So true, it definitely works both ways. You being a bachelor advisor have covered most topics and lead by example of how to live as a minimalist and traveling. I lived in Zambalas where many ex-pats lived as a bachelor or married and experienced many of the same encounters as single men or married men. Your life is what you make it. Your making surrounded by beautiful girls in an amazing country. We are both from So Cal where a similar life style would cost 10x more and the women would be older. The bottom line is as an American that’s thinking with the right head, you tell it like it is.

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