Being A Step-Dad in the Philippines


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Author: Reekay V.

Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.

Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay

29 comments

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  2. Since a large portion of Filipinas live with their parents, I think the necessity to have kids is a cultural thing in the Philippines.
    Most poor families (especially in the province and families who are scatters in the cities) depend on their kids to work and support their family as best they can, since most often their parents are either too old or sick and can’t work for a decent income.
    In my 6 years searching for a good Filipina, I’ve only met One girl who didn’t want kids. I wish she didn’t have Blonde hair and Tattoos all over her body, because she has a good personality and VERY Attractive. (don’t ask, Go find her yourself :P)
    In some cases, even girls over 40 still wanted kids… though I do believe it would be harder for them to have..
    My current Fiancee who I met back in early 2018 on Cupid, then met in Manila (she’s from a Province in Mindanao) in December 2018 where I proposed to her, Wants kids desperately. We were planning to meet again in the Summer of 2019 and get married, but the “Honey Badger” thing happened.
    We are planning to meet in mid to late 2023, but what she asked me first is to get Married, then start “making babies” ASAP… XD hahahaha

  3. When I met my now wife she was 49 and had three children, 20 yrs old, 19 yrs old and 18 yrs old. Over the 4 years, it has been interesting moving into a step-father role, while they had contact with their biological father. Unfortunately, their biological father did some destructive moves towards the oldest child recently and that has changed the dynamic as they cut off contact with him. I am a patient man and yet a pragmatic one, not expecting them to love me as their own, but encouraged when I see signs of a deeper relationship.

  4. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea ., I remember that i met you twice during the lock down in Cebu City once in Ayala supermarket and told you that my GF had a kid (5yo) living with her mom in the province and I didn’t mind it because she already had one and wouldn’t bother me for more and i don’t want anymore. Also, i already had 2 grown adult kids from my previous marriage. The second time i met you was when you and your GF was walking towards I.T Park and you guys were hunting for a longer term condo lease because many apartments and condos were not letting people to rent due to immediate restrictions of people movements.

  5. It is hard to accept someone else kid as your own and that is a terrible mistake. At the end life is going to give you a big surprise. My own experienced I nevered accepted my wife daughter as my own and at the end I got more love and consideration from her that my own blood daughter. Sad

  6. dont do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! unless she is a widow and then .probably not! my mother was a gold digger, widowed to my late father 40 years diference!……..married trapped my great late step dad……… she’ll love herself first, then the child, the children, the extended family over you EVERYTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. I’m glad to see these guys step forward and take on this kind of responsibility but that couldn’t be me. I wouldn’t even get serious with a single mom in my own country much less another country. There’s a lot of baggage and headaches that go along with making that choice. The baby daddy issues and drama that might come later in that relationship, No Thanks! If I ever decide to have kids, they will be mine and not somebody else’s!

  8. Great subject, thanks. We should respect our Filipino family. I fully relate to your story. I had a stepfather and I was also a pain in the ass. Later, I realised that he did his best for my mum and for me and I was able to thank him too and help him when he became sick.

  9. My Philippine step-daughter is 26 yo. When she was 11 yo, I came into her life. She needed me but I didn’t know that I needed her more. Being a step-father was not hard because my wife taught her to show kindness and respect. Raising my “daughter” was one of the best privileges’ I have ever had.

  10. I am older and married a older Filipina. Her 3 kids are already grown. If I had a Filipina GF with small children I would be concerned that they wanted me just so their children would be taken care of No love involved. It is easy to fake love. Great video Reekay and a great subject

  11. Hey Reeky, it is amazing thinking about this issue. I am in the USA and involved in with a Columbian woman. and now I’:M dealing with she doesn’t want my twin boys as her own. I am the male on the flip side of the situation. It is so sad to love someone that doesn’t want par of who you are.

  12. Reekay,
    I really appreciate the maturity and sincerity of your content.

  13. I dont think I have had one girl since 2000 that did not have kids. what I find surprising and disturbing are the filipinas that KNOW the man they are with wants nothing to do with their kids but will still take the time to date them anyway ignoring the fact their child will obvs not be treated like it is accepted. that is sad ..

  14. I am talking with a really nice Filipina that also has kids. We have been talking long enough that she said she would like me to be the father they and most kids never have. Haha. Well, when I get there we will see.

  15. Most older guys are not into changing diapers unless it’s their own and I don’t blame them. On a serious note, I will retire for peace and quiet, when I can find it, and will not even have pets so I have the freedom to travel, write a book and exercise. If a woman joins in okay but will never marry either. Good luck and more power to the ones who become fathers after being a grandfather. God bless!

  16. Reekay I also grew up with a step father from the age of 12. Thankfully I was not the oldest male in the house so didn’t have the power struggle with my step father that my older brother did. Mum and Dad were together for over 50 years and I am so thankful that I had him in my life. I admire what he did as he took on both my mother and her four children and raised them to be responsible, well adjusted adults which is something my biological father never was. I also admire men (and women) who will step up and take on that responsibility and believe we should support them in any way we can and certainly not judge them. I recently lost him (he was 90) but I am now thankful his journey on earth is finished and he is spending eternity in Heaven before his health deteriorated any further. God Bless you and all of the step fathers and mothers.

  17. I finally married my 40 y/o Filipina less than a month ago & she has boys 16 & 10. They live w/family over hour away as she works & taking them out of that element would do more harm than good though they’re always welcomed & always taken on small trips we may do. 16 y/o great kid 10 y/o a jungle monkey that has THE challenges w/discipline/structure that I don’t mind mentoring. Im nothing special but already feel positive influence I can have on them as they approach adulthood.

  18. Hey Reek, I’ve been chatting with a single mom that has a 2yr old. I don’t know what will happen when we meet ,but I think I’ll let destiny decide. If I feel happiness I will not let the innocence of a child bother me, in fact, I will welcome it. Happiness is my goal

  19. Thanks for your video Henry! My ex Fiance Filipina has a daughter and I was in a LDR with her for 3 and a half years until we broke it up in January of this year due to the high demanding pressures of Covid. It seemed that she could not handle the increasing inability of me not able to meet together again face to face. We still continued to communicate on and off through Skype and soon, I will be with her in August to see her again and maybe continue where we left off.
    We know deep within our hearts that we still have some feelings for each other and care for each other but I can tell you that this may be the “break it off totally” or “get back together” type of trip for me. Her daughter is 16 years of age and I can tell you this, if we stay again and I finally marry her, I would be prod to have her as my own daughter! I have 3 sons by the way- 2 College age and 1 going to 12th grade High School.

  20. Well, Reekay maturity is the word of day if I choose to do something anything I don’t require anyone’s approval and what they might think or say about it has no value for me. I’m coming to the Philippines before the year is out but I’m too old for kids but if I change my mind, I require nothing from other expats to justify anything I do.

  21. At the end of the day, it’s an individual choice. Raising children is a huge responsibility. It cannot be taken lightly.

  22. I like that you support a chap taking on a father’s role and giving to a family the support they need.

  23. Yeah Reekay I had a really nice stepdad as well and he’s passed away since and I miss him. My current girlfriend has no children she’s 28 years old so I guess I’m one of the rare ones but if a girl had one or two children that would be OK with me as long as the kids like me but I couldn’t handle Like say 4 kids

  24. No thank you, not because I don’t like kids ,I love kids but to get attached to a kid and then one day your girlfriend or wife walks away with the child , heartbreaking.

  25. You’re worth having your own kids and not dealing with step kids. It isn’t an easy thing especially if you have your own kids with her as well… There is always going to be problems with them.

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