Author: Reekay V.
Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.
Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay
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Excellent rundown on a very nuanced but important point.
YES BUT THE THING IS when you give your explanation to the girl/wife,,,she will interpret it to her family in a completely different way,,coz their understanding of the english language is completely different, unles they speak and understand english like filipina PEA!,,,,LOL
Very good advice
Good advice ! The culture is not for marshmallows & u need to make yur stand early in the relationship. U will never erase the mindset of ” all foreigners have $ “.
Excellent advice, thank you
You are so insightful because of your years of experience in the Philippines, but 99% of the expats that are making ignorant statements are not. Furthermore these other delusional and easily manipulated expats that get into these instant relationships with their online gf that fetches them at the airport then sequesters them on a fantasy filled vacation. Then they return home or perhaps rent somewhere in the Philippines with this young girl and get milked because they allow themselves to be in that situation. Face the reality that you are getting in over your head and sometimes over your budget if you are thinking with the wrong head.
good advise Reekay! case to case approach and filipina respecting husband’s decision. i would add a budget approach and staying with your decision and consistency.
Can’t emphasize enough that you have to give her the tools and training to understand and deal with the situation.
Even in ldr relationships on the third day she love you on fourth day she wants money for her kids or some one in her family sicks the single mums are worse one they tell you a sad story of how one their kids are sick and need a injection and it cost over 100 usd I was talking this flipina and she say her daughter step on a nail and she needs 100 for injection now this is a flipina who works at pharmacy I know it dnt cost that I told her I say u work at a pharmacy why u don’t buy it with your money then she say I nt hear from in a while cause she going sell her phone the same phone she told me it’s not working now for almost 3weeks she still want this money I ask her what happened to her daughter father her words he ran from the child was a baby and how long story short she told me she sell her faulty cell phone get injection shot for her daughter after few weeks I told i know she did need the money for that she say I nt be hear from for a while cau she sold her phone then I saw her on messenger she actually get a fancy hair style done by the way I never sent her a dime its just a story about these online dateing sites with these flipinoes scammers after that I deleted the dateing site I aslo block her online dating is really a scam its best you meet in person and even after this u have be careful I don’t know why flipinoes think forginers is a atm machine sorry about the long rant but after seeing lots of utube vedioes from you I know a scam when I see one she probably on that dateing site fooling a old forginer in gaveing her money its so sad though flipinoes used dateing sites as means of fooling old desperate guys to send then money am not cheap but no way to some one yiu hardly know no way
I’ve always believed that the only reason to move to a foreign country is for love of that country. As soon as I hear someone explain that they worked their whole life, finished with nothing to show for it but Social Security and had to move to the Philippines just to make ends meet, I know Im talking to someone who has made a lifetime of bad decisions and hasn’t learned a damn thing. Those are the guys that end up in this scenario. Unfortunately, by the time you have this conversation with them, the damage is done and they are too old or too stupid to learn. The best thing to do is just smile, nod your head and let them be stupid. It’s ok. The world needs idiots to make the rest of us grateful for what we have.
Thanks Reekay!
Simple test: turn around the tables and you make some request. If they reciprocate then we can take it further
Married 5 years to a Filipina and never been asked for money for the family. I’ve sponsored a party or two, but that’s it.
Me got caught here. house,house,jeepney, trike,trike,bike. trips,trips,car,car, all monthly cost, funeral, hospital, school. Shit, now I am old and broke. No longer working. This round, yes 1 more trip to do. I am running back to the island but this round I am swimming and drinking beer alone…
I keep reiterating to my Pina her the kids and I first then mom and dad second, brothers and sisters third, aunts and uncles fourth and anyone else is last
Another incredible ounce of wisdom for anyone living in the West who wants to date a woman in SE Asia.
16:20 Thanks for the heads-up.
I’ve heard this saying often. Thanks for saying how to deal with this situation.
Very good advice!
I agree with you and this will work until you’re married. Boundaries work when you have leverage, they aren’t respected when the other party has more leverage. I know you won’t believe me, but the women you marry will never be as good as the day it’s official. She and her family will chip away little by little. Don’t believe me? Look at older couples, look at how her mother treats her father, this is a preview of coming attractions.
Don’t help their parents!!!!
They will survive without your help!!!!
Don’t get scammed!!!!
There is some people who will get the daughter to do anything to the bf or husband happened 17:17 to me and I ended that relationship pronto ! The bad ones make it hard on the good people it’s too bad
Have you ever noticed if your girlfriend/wife’s family treated you different after you deny their request for money?
Great insight
I think when husband and wife make a rule. that every peso to the family is a loan and that if the woman does not get the money back, the family would lose their belongings, so these demands will stop very quickly.
I’m assuming it’s a family with a farm or something similar.
I wouldn’t support the family except on rare occasions, but if they are capable of working, then they can support themselves.
Only a fool would support the family.
Thank you yet for another informative video! I have a question not related to this video about single mothers in Philippine. As you know there are a lot of them with the father nowhere to be seen without any consequence! Do you know what might be the consequence if a foreigner make a Philippa pregnant?
Never thought of stressing the respect for expat’s authority. Another thought, it may be that helping a sibling would come out of what is given to the parents.
Love the checkmate…
Great advice Reekay. I have saved this one to my favorites.
What you said abut their culture being to respect the man of the house is golden.
I’m probably going to face this when I go back. Her immediate family is just the mother and 2 sisters so there hasn’t been those circumstances. Her father died a few years ago and there are no brothers. That’s as much of the family I’ve met…so far.
Last week she went to a family reunion and was questioned by several of her mother’s relatives as to how her lifestyle improved so much. I’m back in the states but going there in a couple weeks so I’m gearing up for visits from distant uncles, cousins, etc.
From what I’ve seen in the past, when money and culture clash, money always wins so I’m expecting push back via pressure on her by them. It will be interesting to see how well they handle no and respect my decision. I’m of the mind that regardless how much a person has, an unexpected emergency can take a large financial toll so I’ll use that as my basis for saying no and what she can pass on to keep them at bey.
As always, a great informative video. Kudos!
I’m just in love with your AI beauties, Quique. If only they existed! Also, absolutely fantastic message.
(1) You have to set ground rules and boundaries up front. (2) There’s a difference between supporting and enabling. Know the difference. (3) Stand your ground.
Great advice. Assertive yet compassionate. Appreciate the guidance.
it is VERY easy to replace her with an even better woman, and she will know this. Dont give up your advantages.
STAY in the Phlls and do NOT marry her. There’s no divorce in the Phills so there’s no way for her to club you over the head with family court. get a vasectomy and dont give her the club of your kids, either.
IF you bring your Filipina to the US, she will send every DIME she makes back to her family, so you’ll still have to pay for everything, regardless of her job or number of hours worked. I eventually got sick of it and divorced her after nearly 8 years of having her in the US. Her sisters, brother, aunties, everyone who got sick, lost a job, etc, would get my wife’s mom to ask my wife for help. then whenever WE had some problem, guess who always had to cough up?
Thanks for a very informative show that’s 100% true.
That is true most of the time, but not always!