Over the last three years I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting with several hundred of the viewers of my Youtube channel. Many times it is planned into their vacation and they will arrive at the city I am living in at the time. Other times I have fit it into my itinerary when I happened to already be in transit and passing through their city. I’ve met a lot of my viewers by pure chance. On a ferry to Bohol, on a plane to Boracay, while shopping for groceries and even while I was on a date.
And it’s been a great experience. I enjoy hearing about what led them to a life in the Philippines and different situations they have encountered along the way. We will often talk over dinner, a beer or just standing out on a sidewalk.
Online, I would say that my correspondence with the viewers of my channel has also been very enjoyable. I’d say about 99% of the viewers have had something positive to say about whatever video they viewed. I’ve had many, many viewers ask for my advice on their personal situaton and later thanked me for my input. Some have become good friends to this day that I see fairly regularly.
And then there is the 1%. The ‘Peanut Gallery’.
I’d say that just about every day I get addressed by some newly, thrown-together fake account spewing some sort of accusation or hatred at me either through the Youtube comment section or my Facebook. And often it’s the same people with the same accusations, same profanities, same hatred.. all I have to do is read a sentence or two and I recognize it’s just another waste of bandwidth.
I don’t debate or argue with these people unless I’m really bored, which isn’t often. And even then I will make one reply and then ban them. I’ve found there’s nothing productive that will come out of anything more than that. The standard operating procedure I have is to simply Block them from my account and delete their comment from the Pending status. That’s it. I can block/delete comments much faster than they can create new accounts or type up another hateful message. It never takes up more than ten minutes of my day. Very easy-peasy.
Who are these people?
The simple answer to that is, “People with a lot of hatred and time on their hands.” Truly. If they had anything else more productive to do I suppose they would do it. Instead, they make me the center of their dark world. I represent, in their mind, all that is wrong in their life. All I can say to that is, “It must suck to be them.”
If I had to put these people into a group, based on what I’ve seen over the last 3 years, they would fall into three major groups;
1.) The “Grumpy Old Men” Group
People (almost always men, but a few women) from this group are old dogs who can’t seem to learn new tricks. They are set in their ways and, in real life I suppose they are accustomed to no one ever telling them they are wrong, much less proving it and leaving them speechless. These are people who will utter something as ignorant as, “All Filipinos can’t be trusted.” and then, if you correct them on their error regarding general statements, they are appalled at your correction and now.. they hate you. That easily, they hate you. They will harass you, slander you all because you proved them wrong in some online discussion. Once these air-bags gets offended, they just can’t let it go.
2.) The “Sour Grapes” Group
These can be a younger crowd, but not limited to just the young and stupid. Haters from this group are guys who came to the Philippines (or just about any South-East Asian country) thinking they had the world by a string. They thought they were Brad Pitt and Mr. Moneybags all rolled into one. But then, they made every fatal mistake in the book due to their own pride. After all, they didn’t see the need to ask anyone for advice. The next thing you know, they are broke, broken-hearted, cheated by women any sane person never would have trusted and rather than take some personal accountability.. they choose to blame the entire country of the Philippines. (or Thailand, Vietnam, Samoa, Cambodia, etc.)
So when they stumble upon a video by some happy-go-lucky guy (like me, or any other vlogger having a great time in the Philippines).. they just go nuts. The mere existence of someone else who disproves their hatred of the country by having a great experience totally wreaks havoc with their own personal ‘reality‘ between their ears. Again, they won’t take personal responsibility for their own experience turning into a train-wreck, so they go on the attack of any expat enjoying his life in the Philippines. They hate his happiness. They hate his cute girlfriend. They hate his fun vacations. They hate his joy. They hate his great relationship. Because it all proves that HE was the problem. Not the country. Not Filipinas. He was the problem but he can’t face that fact. So, he chooses to discredit and slander those who succeeded where he failed.
3.) The “Bad Wiring” Group
Haters from this group are truly their own worst enemy. They need therapy. They need drugs that only a licensed psychologist can prescribe. These are people who live in their own, bizarre fantasy world where (a) They are always right, (b) They are always the victim and (c) They apply a double-standard but cannot see the contradiction in doing so.
The nonsense I get from these people, I don’t take so personally. The reason is because their whole life is one long, slow train-wreck. I am not the first person they’ve fixated all their hate on, and I’ll likely not be the last. These people have a history of anti-social behavior that goes back for decades, even to childhood. They can’t hold a long-term, healthy relationship with the opposite sex. They can’t function in social situations without quickly becoming the designated “ass”. They can’t even interact with others in a group setting online. With social media the way it is, these type of people find themselves quickly blocked out from any online groups because they are so toxic and offensive to everyone involved. They expect everyone else to put up with their offensive rants, yet they are so thin-skinned when it comes to facing some truthful criticism in return. They can dish it out, but they can’t take their own medicine. (refer again to the “double-standard” trait.)
I can’t emphasize enough, these people are incapable of seeing their own duplicity and toxicity. They truly think they are some sort of one-man champion with the entire world against them, “for no reason”. They can’t see that it is them who starts each and every incident of contention with others. They are mentally blind to it. They will think nothing of passing slander on a person, say filthy things about someone’s wife or girlfriend.. and then the next moment expect that person to have a civil conversation with them and treat them in a respectful manner, on their terms! They are THAT far removed from the social norm. They are big on demanding respect, but never have any for others.
The Good News
The good news is (a) You don’t owe any of these 1% people a single moment of your time and (b) Their mindset and lifestyle is their own punishment, whether they realize it or not.
I don’t have to have these 1% haters as friends. I don’t need to meet with them. I don’t even need to send them a holiday card. Why would I bother? I am not interested in spending time with ego-maniacs, people in denial or crazy people. There are way too many other people in this world who are positive, outgoing, intelligent and entertaining to waste any time trying to placate a person who thinks and behaves like an ignorant beast.
As time goes on, call it karma or call it reaping what you sow.. but these people are like self-destructive black holes. It’s bad enough they will make their own existence miserable, there’s no need to be included in their personal, little crazy-circus.
Answering Common Accusations Made Against Me, Personally
Over the years, I’ve just about heard it all. If there’s a way to distort the truth, haters are all over it and spewing it anywhere they think someone will listen. Here is a short list and rebuttal to some of the accusations slung my way, simply for enjoying my life in the Philippines;
“Reekay is living with an under-age girl and is going to get thrown in jail for it.”
As of this date (April, 2016), I have been in a faithful, exclusive relationship with my girlfriend, who happens to be 23 years old. She was 21 when we met. Not 17, not 16.. but 21. This is how desperate these hateful people are that they will flat out LIE despite my relationship being public knowledge. Her family is happy about the relationship, she’s happy, I’m happy. But as I mentioned before, some people just cannot handle seeing other people happy in life.
“Reekay is passing bad information, saying that foreigners can own a business in the Philippines.”
This one makes me laugh. Especially coming from someone who eats at nothing but franchises owned by foreign corporations. 🙂 How else can I put this except to say that the plain truth is; foreigners can and have been running businesses in the Philippines for quite some time. Restaurants, hotels, resorts, motorcycle parts shops, BPO services.. the list is long of foreigners from South Korea, China, Japan, USA and UK who do business in the Philippines. I personally know quite a few individuals who have businesses in the Philippines. For someone to accuse me of “passing bad information” because I stated that foreigners do own businesses here is nothing short of ignorant. Any expat who wants to start a business in the Philippines can get plenty of information on the process and requirements at this Link
or simply by doing a Google search on, “foreign owned business philippines requirements“.
“Reekay is just a ‘sexpat’, he’s only here for the girls.”
As I’ve already mentioned, I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with only my girlfriend, and this has been for the last 16 months straight. Having a long-term relationship does not make me a ‘sexpat’. Having a younger girlfriend does not make me a ‘sexpat’. If I was truly here, “just for the girls”, here is what I have to say about that;
If I was only here for a multiple number of female encounters, I would not limit myself to one woman for more than a year by being in a relationship. That’s just basic common sense. If I wanted variety in my social/dating life, I’d remain fully single and date whoever I wanted, when I wanted, as often as I wanted.
Secondly, if I was single and dating different women.. so what? That’s what men do when they are single, they date. They might date a lot or a little, but single men enjoy being around single women. If I were living in the USA, I’d be dating different women. People do that all the time. There’s nothing nefarious or criminal about having an active social life. But, from the perspective of a hateful person who can’t successfully interact with women in a positive manner, it’s not surprising they resent that someone else is having an active social life. That just reeks of one thing; Jealousy.
In summary, the Peanut Gallery is and always has been a 1% collection of malcontents who want to tear everyone else down to their own miserable level. Their life sucks and they know it. Seeing other people enjoy their life, to them, is like salt in the wound. Why? Because they see themselves as a ‘victim‘.. not the reality of living a life that is the result and consequences of their own anti-social behavior. As I mentioned before, “It must suck to be them.”
Well, it’s been another fantastic day. I spent my day doing what I enjoy and I’ll end my evening the same way. In closing, I’ll leave you with a piece of reasoning that I live by;
Author: Reekay V.
Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.
Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.