Author: Reekay V.
Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.
Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay
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U should talk about perposed laws marriage
I went to stage 3 instantly with no regrets ..
Men coming from the west are so used to being shot down that it takes them some time to get out of that rut . You need to be careful because once you are marked as a Johnny come lately that gets around through the chisma mill and you are black listed . Be prepared to move around if this is your goal but eventually all the hot spots will be no go zones . Filipinas who are looking to date foreign men will be in the areas where those men are congregating and it’s your job to pick through the players . An old fashioned girl will still be in the provinces and if you are lucky you will get the opportunity to be a part of her life. Don’t foul yourself that there isn’t a stigma that comes with dating a foreign man in the provinces because you have the family to deal with and they have expectations for their daughter or family member. This doesn’t necessarily mean monetarily but morals and ethics involved with intentions. Take your time and feel the situation out and keep your net worth to yourself.
I’m glad you addressed this elephant in the room of the expat male experience! I’ve seen too many expat/passport bro videos talking about the shortcomings of western women. But then oftentimes IN THE SAME videos these men talk about the comparisons between the women of Blank country vs the women of other blank countries. Too many of these men participating most enthusiastically in the discussions strike me as Chads & Pookies (regardless of race). I do not believe the average man who moves to another country with the sincere intent to find a suitable mate will be so unsuccessful he has to rinse & repeat in multiple other countries. Nor do I believe a sincere man will need to sleep with even 20 women in two or three years to identify a woman of quality. Any man doing the “rolling stone” thing is whoring and he should stop lying to everyone about what he’s actually doing! Such a man or such men are simply exporting the male western poison to other countries. These men can’t get past your Phase One because they never intended to do so. To me they are as toxic as the western women about whom they complain so bitterly!
Hello Henry and I would put myself in the early Stage 3 category. We are very serious about each other as she is also my Thai Fiance, while our future goals and aspirations on marriage and everything else is in the works.
In 2 weeks, I’ll be with her during practically the whole month of October so it should be very interesting to see what happens!
Good luck to you and Vi!
Basic desires versus real life need.
Desires fired by lust leads to control issues. Kid in a candy store for the expat may be perceived as a bull in the China closet by the Philippines people. Sexpat reputation arises from that.
Then the different day different girl with nothing but a empty house and empty heart to show for it lacks true satisfaction to another basic need, love.
Most people are built for pair bonding. Gay straight doesn’t make any difference, there is that need for deep friendship and love with another individual. Someone to build a life with. Someone to give your love to and receive love from.
There will always be temptation out there calling, but that’s more of a character exercise. Keeping the relationship builds better character, giving in to temptation builds bad character. Being trustworthy is important in life. Trustworthy in business, trustworthy in relationships, that trustworthiness shows your character.
Building a good loving caring relationship with mutual trust and open honest communication lays the foundation to a better more satisfying life for most people. There are always exceptions, especially given the spectrum of human nature. That spectrum is like the title of a movie The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly”.
Great video! Although, still in the USA when I begin traveling I will be in stage one for a year or so. After that I will move to the Philippines and settle down with a good Filipina.
I’m in a meet-as-friends first phase! I am stuck in the USA taking care of my elderly bedridden father, so all I can do is start a friendship. I can’t make any promises to any woman at this point, it would be a lie. I want a family and a happy relationship that will last forever. I have asked every old couple I meet what kept them together all the years? They all have the same answer, we are best friends! So, I am in that phase of searching for a best friend, someone who I can talk to and build that friendship first. Someone who is willing to respect that I am finishing my promise to my family here and will wait for me. When I have found her that is the one. Any woman who is in it for the money is not going to take the time for all this to happen. They want to rush things along. They will eventually jump aboard an easier path to their goal of getting the money. A good woman will respect that I am loyal to my family to the end and also will want that friendship first too. So if you want to find a relationship that will last forever find a best friend first. Don’t rush into something that will fall apart. It will hurt your kids you have with her more than it will hurt either one of you. Be smart and take the advice of those who have proven what works. The old couples who are all best friends to the end!
Love the stories. BTW, the guys at the bar were really gross. Don’t know how you could stand to talk with them for any length of time.
There is currently probably plenty of women. That is until all these western ass clowns go there and treat the Filipinas the same way they’ve treated Western girls.
Very good discussion Reekay… Thank you
I sincerely hope the expat men who commit to 1 woman & then keep sidechicks are few & far between. Makes the rest look bad
I think you should do a follow up video entitled, “The Three Stooges of Philippine Dating: Larry, Moe, and Curly.”
I didn’t date for a while after divorcing marrird for 20 years. My conversation skills and dating confidence was shot. So i went out starting casual conversations with people. And there I was after a while back in the game.
Nothing worse than an old guy walking round staring at women not knowing how to start a conversation.
hummm… there, the perspectives might be considered quite differently according to each s own experience and beliefs.
i will cite my case as an example : i have spent 22 years in japan, evolving from level 1 to level 3.
now i am divorced, my ex took my kids away from me forever.
i have no contact with anybody anymore.
after a 10 year-depression, i have tried to redo my life relocating myself to the japanese southern islands.
but my new situation does not work…at all… i am very unhappy.
level 0, constantly.
therefore i have been thinking about discovering this new country that the philippines is.
i will probably restart all over from level 1, since i have not had any sexual life for years, hoping to level up someday, hoping to find trust again, in a human being.
finally, during my dark days i have been through a spiritual period in my life resulting in one of my beliefs, as below :
there is no level 4.
when you die, all the world around you, your life, your past, your consciousness, will not exist anymore.
whether you leave with a relief or not, is totally irrelevant, and worthless to be dealt with.
1. Gorge yourself. Burn yourself out and learn what you like
2. Become more selective and recuperate-stay alone for a while
3. Find the best most comfortable match and find what makes you happy
I plan to slow travel through SE Asia and see where I’d like to land. There are many great choices. I will find a wonderful caring respectful trusting healthy relationship after I decide where I want to live. When I see those guys who are using women, I go in the opposite direction. They are detached and hurt people with no conscience. That accelerates the drinking and running away from their lives. Great content Reekay.