My Biggest Mistake in the Philippines: Believing a Common Urban Myth


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Author: Reekay V.

Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.

Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay

31 comments

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  2. I had the exact same issue as you. I’ve dated a few Filipinas and they all were either studying to be a teacher, working in childcare, sending me pics taking care of their baby niece, etc. Obviously really into children. But when I told them that I want to travel and don’t want more children, suddenly they say oh it’s fine if we don’t have a baby. It was really hard to believe them, and just like you, I didn’t want them to feel like they were missing out later in life.

  3. Avoid problems with women in the Phillywilly by being a SNOWBIRD. I live in Cebu for 5 months, 3 weeks out of the year. I tell any women I meet that any relationship we have is temporary, and relationship is over when I go back to Florida. And I do not want them waiting on me when I come back. Harsh? Maybe, but being up front is only fair 8/10 women will walk away after that, but the remainder are happy with the terms. Retired at 39, very well to do, and have NO desire for marriage and/or children. I had a vasectomy 6 years ago. If you go back home before you need an exit clearance, any false charges filed by a jilted lover will not show up until you are back home. I was falsely accused of being a baby daddy last year, got that cleared up from Florida.

  4. I hope that you believe that the reason none of the women you were with before ever worked out, is because you were meant to find vie… Vie is really your soul mate Henry ❤

  5. I did not meet my wife on a dating site. I am married to a Filipino 30 years younger than me. We been married 17 years and I have no regrets.

  6. Wait until age 30ish+. The urge for dirty booty duty kicks in …

    Rent – don’t buy – Rent …

  7. I remember this video. It is among my favorite from you, so I happily listened to all 20+ minutes. It is a heart-wrenching story because everyone can see themselves making the same mistake, especially the man who showed you a hundred pics. To avoid the mistake of the man who wanted the first woman he met, each of us should write down what we want in a woman, from most to least importance. Also decide which characteristics are must-haves. If know what precisely what you want, you will know when you find it. Thus, you want pass her up and regret it, later, when you finally realize what you want. Don’t “finally” realize what you want — put in the tough mental work to articulate it. Be complete and be precise. Put it in writing: it helps you to solidify it.

  8. Yep, much is undoable in life. Actions and consequences can bring lifetime of regret. Well, we all live our life’s and people come and go and the places we travel too but always someone else comes along at some point and everything from the past becomes a distant image. I find that at 65 and travelled. Quite a compelling story but a past reality. Good video. Hopefully now after getting married you corrected the mistake and are happier second time around.

  9. one of the best videos I have seen, the sincerity and the life lesson that our friend shares with us should help us think and decide wisely, something that is always in short supply, what is best for our happiness and our own life, knowing yourself It is the basis for being able to decide wisely, let us not get carried away by the wave of indifference and bad advice or by carefree people who have another step in life.

  10. Don’t beat yourself up too much, man. Everything happens for a reason. Trust your judgment. You weren’t done yet, you wanted to go to Vietnam. Had you settled at that point, you would always wonder what it would be like to travel the world. I think you made the right choice, as much as it sucks to think about sometimes.

  11. The baby issue is a tricky one. Many people go back and forth about wanting kids throughout the different stages of their lives. You have to really trust that the woman has thought it out and is 1000% sure about having kids or not.

  12. I have a girl that already has 2 kids. I don’t think it’s fair to a younger Filipina to ask her not to be a mother, it’s what they do. I would not date one of that age because of that. A Filipina that’s 30 plus and does not have a baby yet is probably good not having one. Mark of Everyman has a Story has a new baby and is extremely happy. His wife is 25 and originally said she was ok with not having them. Don’t believe it biology kicks in more often than not.

  13. I wanted to add 5 likes… as i prepare to make my move overseas, i want to experience the promiscuity life, but i have also found an amazing one that i would have to sacrifice…

    Its great to hear relatable experiences

  14. Great video. The example of “settling” for the first women is a big concern of mine and of missing out on a great relationship with that first one due to the recommendation of dating around with a bunch of women before selecting one–it can be difficult to go back to that first one when she wants a man who had her at the top of his list and knew that from the beginning, plus she might now be married or already involved with another man.

    The “all want a baby” thing is also a concern since I keep hearing that from others & feel like there won’t be any women over there for me to date since I won’t be able to have kids due to a vasectomy & also due to my height of 5’2″ greatly reducing the selection of women to choose from that will sincerely accept both of those things. This is why for my first few months I plan to just travel around checking places out and getting use to living in the Philippines as a retirement destination before I start thinking about trying to date there.

  15. If a 22 year old sincerely agrees to never have kids, it is more likely than not she will change her mind later. That was not a mistake on your part. The existence of a minority of women in their 30s who are happy with no kids does not change that.

  16. Wow! To see this now released today after I stumbled on that originating vid from…. Four years ago!

  17. I agree I did two years on line she worked abroad so we only spent 30 day twice a year for two years then k1 visa 6 years latter I find out she had another American in the area cheating for 3 years crazy but moved on just sad. So I agree with you

  18. In my opinion, especially at a senior age, LIVE, APPRECIATE, AND ENJOY LIFE as best you can daily. The only constant in life is change. It’s a journey! To flip it. A guy could meet a filipina who is like-minded (no desire for kids), but after a while, he decides he really wants to leave a legacy. She’s steadfast in her desire to not have children. Now what? Things change, and people change. We’re human! A decision has to be made, but life will continue. Too many of us tend to think that if the outcome or projected outcome doesn’t pan out, then it is all for naught. I agree with your advice to us. If it’s good, it’s good! You love each other, then trust each other! It’s fear that sometimes sabotage a good thing. Btw…commenting is so far out of my comfort zone, but channels like yours (including subcribers’ comments) have really helped in preparing for my move abroad (even the IMO whack comments…lol!) All of it gives me different perspectives for which I can think and form discerment. My best to all!

  19. “Generalization” is a language construction that REQUIRES exceptions.
    You can easily say “ALL” Filipinas whatever and, as long as you are aware of its implications, you will be right.

  20. I understand, women are human beings and even with the cultural pressure to have children, some women don’t want children, I’m ok with that and l can be happy with that and I can be happy with a woman that wants a child and loves me and wants to keep our legacy going on. But thanks for the advice and keep the videos coming and yes if l meet the right woman I will stay with her

  21. Hey, we all make mistakes we regret. I sure did. Been married to her for over 10 years. Just waiting for my kid to get a little older so I can move on.

  22. Note: to those who may say, “maybe she wanted kids after all.” no. two years later she married a man she knew already had a vasectomy. even in her next relationship, she was fine without kids.

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