Author: Reekay V.
Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat and spent 1999 living in Vietnam.
Share with me my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Hopefully you find my observations helpful in your own adventures.
— Reekay
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Take this advice with a bit of liberty. It’s okay to talk to a few girls and get a feel for stuff online first – it’s not terrible to have at least an outline of a plan. I met my girl on a dating site and she lives a few hours outside of Manila. I’d have never ended up there, but I went out and checked her and her family out. Was I already emotionally involved? Yeah sure – but I was fact-finding. I got a lot of attention when I went to a few local places, so there are always other options available. The more ‘out’ out the tourist haunts you go the more attention you’ll likely get and they’ll talk to you. If you go out and your plan is to just walk around and strike up conversations 3/4 blocks from your apartment – good luck with that, too. But it’ll be you and everyone else – particularly in the bigger cities.
Great advice!! Thank you!
Go to Kenya and Uganda if you like African women. They are easier than Filipinas and all speak English (at least in the big cities).
Goof old fashioned common sense Reekay. Thank you, sir.
Mindanao Bob was on YouTube before 2012, though his activity was focused more on publishing back then. I met Bob in Davao in 2014 or 2017…I don’t recall which visit I visited with him. I’m thinking it might have been 2014. After 20ish years in the Philippines he moved his family back to Indiana.
You always find what you expect, therefore, be super careful HOW you think.
The Philippines is a target rich environment. Approaching dating with confidence knowing that there will be failures and successes but an abundance of both. So go for it.
I agree with this, I will go back and go to a province as a single man. No more dating sites, I messed up the first time with a dating site. I know now what to watch for, thanks for the great advice!
The golden age of traveling is over. The best time to travel was the early 2010s and before. Social media completely changed the game too many simps bring their bad behavior overseas.
Why are expats leaving the PH in droves? Because they have to do a visa run and return two days later after dining in a hidden gem restaurant somewhere near vietnam.
I met a higher earning Filipina recently who comes from a very wealthy family. She said the higher earning families in the Philippines generally look down on their daughters dating a foreigner. They want their daughters to marry into another affluent Philippino family. The majority of the Filipina’s a foreigner will meet are those who typically come from a tougher financial situation. A foreigner will usually never be able to break into the top echelon of Filipina’s as they date their own kind.
Reekay, you suggest to talk a Filipina “small talk” at the mall. How do you transition to dating from that? I always fear she looks at me like: “so all your talk was just game and bait?”
I’ve been all over asia and I’d say if you want a nice girl for marriage, either go way out in the province… at least 1-2 hours from a big city…. If you want a good women who is traditional go to vietnam, there are nice covered traditional women everywhere. very conservative, pretty and simple. Way less scammers etc… filipina’s could all pretty much write courses on how to scam white guys… and now even if you find a good filipina, you would want to live near a city, they will find friends with bad intentions and you are going to get scammed…
Good stuff… Can what you say happen in Manila too ?
Another great video, you always provide us with the best content
“The True Pioneers”? The true pioneers were the Spanish in Philippines. That being said, who needs websites? There are way to many beautiful women in Philippines to need a website.
Love the “man talk” … you are a well versed advisor … take note young men … Reekay is a man you can follow with confidence!❤
I have to disagree with you. Dating websites have their use as long as you pay attention and you are clear in what you want. You can write a long bio, in which I was very frank and honest, and there is a short bio / intro that goes on the top of the front page of your page, so they see it first. When they messaged me it was obvious who had read the bio and who didn’t, scammers and working girls generally don’t read long detailed bio’s. Always ask for a video call, that will tell you most of what you need to know. Good women always insist on a video call within the first chat session.
I always wrote “I do not send money to any person I’ve never met.” In the long and short intro. You still get hundreds of messages from working girls and scammers but it is easy to tell who they are. A lot of university students in the Philippines support themselves by being paid online and as holiday girlfriends but they say so pretty much from the outset. If they want that, good luck to them. If she is very attractive, 20 – 30 years younger than you it’s almost certainly not someone who is interested in you, only your money. If they are overtly sexual and provocative from the start that should ring alarm bells. If any of them even hinted at sending money I just blocked them.
There were around 6 I would have happily considered a long term relationship with whom I talked to regularly from the Philippines, and at least a dozen or so I would occasionally chat to. Some were not wealthy and they were honest about saying they were looking for long term security, they didn’t ask for money they just wanted almost instant commitment to marry. They are surprisingly trusting. I see no issue with this, it’s up to the individual to set boundaries. Mostly they just wanted someone to talk to, someone to pay attention to them. I told them I was talking to several women and advised them to keep their options open too… they even asked my advice about interactions they had with other men… there are plenty of men who scam and mislead women on dating sites. My long term partner Filipina was financially scammed by a man in Norway. Even more men who just want free online porn actresses, and you can find them on dating sites.
I talked to teachers, government workers, nurses etc. I finally found a woman I felt a connection with after about 6 weeks of this on January 1st 2020, since then we have never missed a day talking online. She is a senior professor in a university in the north of Luzon, she is considerably more wealthy than I am. I have never sent money to her. I have visited her twice in the almost 4 years we’ve been together and last year we went to Thailand together, I met her children and grandchildren all but one of which were very welcoming to me. We plan to marry when she retires in a couple of years, I already call her ‘my wife’.
I don’t pay for sex, I don’t look in the places where it is available, I’m not interested in ‘short time hook ups’ free or otherwise and I make that clear. Scammers and those looking for ‘free money’ almost always move on after a short time of being told ‘No’. Believe it or not there are some women who are also just looking for a bit of online excitement, had a couple of women tell me their husbands weren’t interested in them anymore and wanted a bit of fun on the very first call. One woman who told me she was a manager in a condom factory in Thailand was eating dinner with her son on the first video call, she said she’d call me back in 15 minutes, she did.. she was in the shower, naked, she knew I was calling from a supermarket. I thank them politely and suggest they try someone else, if they are giving me ‘free samples’ (and a lot do) then it’s highly likely other men are getting those same free samples too. Hook up culture is alive and well in the Asiatic region just the same as in the west whether online or in person, for those who enjoy it, good luck to them. It amazes me how many Filipinas within a few days or a week or so of chatting ask me how big my penis is (they worry if it’s too big), I tell them my arm is not long enough to get the whole thing in shot, so sorry no pictures.
There are good genuine women on dating sites you just have to filter out the chaff and not let your ‘little brain’ control you. Keep a sense of humour and don’t be overly suspicious and judgemental – trust yourself. Be honest and be respectful. The site I used was Asian Dating.
You get these YT vloggers raving about PH as if they found their first romance ever there. And as if the country didn’t have a 101 other things to offer the adventurous traveler. Many travelers to PH are scuba divers, hikers, bikers, photographers, surfers, and more. The downsides must also be mentioned. Scams, corruption, widespread poverty, underdeveloped towns and cities, malnutrition, and a lack of affordable medical insurance for elderly expats. And the new practice of travelers being intimidated with interrogations on arrival or visa extension.
good advice. thanks for sharing..
thanks Uncle Ric
especially @ 70
So many times when I’m at a restaurant, dept. store, kiosk, doctor or dentist office, a Filipina will ask my gf how we met (in Bisaya) and that they are looking for a foreigner. Then they ask if I have any brothers or friends that I can introduce to them. So I can confirm from my own experience that it’s easy to meet Filipinas in person.
Great advice, thank you .
Social media and dating apps have made people think they deserve more than is realistic. Look at Western women on Chad apps dating above their level and being free prostitutes. Look at the guys without self-discipline that don’t put in the effort, and think that they are shopping for a controllable woman.
I was in The Philippines about two weeks ago. There is no problem. Just be a decent man and be good at filtering. It’s that simple.
One word. Wisdom. Have no plans to go, but maybe one day. Thanks for sharing your experiences and insight.
You are right … a few years ago one small vlogger made a video. A subscriber from the US just landed in the Ph and was too shy to talk to a woman. The vlogger said say hello and then talk about x,y,z then ask for her number. They went down the road stopping at 5 or 6 different food stands and he got 2 or 3 numbers. Basically the new guy needed a wing man to stand next to him and do nothing other than look at food while the new guy talked to the woman.
I disagree with 99% of the time you will be successful at cold approaching in the Philippines. Reekay obviously must be quite good at it. But, Reekay himself met his wife online. You are assuming the myth that Filipina girls will like you just because you’re a foreigner. Not all girls are available. and just because she gave you her number doesn’t mean that anything is gonna become of it or you’re gonna actually form a relationship . Girls in the PH flake and ghost men too. For myself, I have to be in the right frame of mind and in the right mood I’m not always in a flirtatious talkative life of the party type mood. Perhaps I need to work on that. The problem with asking girls who are working is they have very little time off, usually just on Sunday so you will only see them once a week they’re too tired to meet up after work and have other family responsibilities. And working girls have smart phones and are also on social media and dating Apps. Suggesting cold approach is good advice, but I don’t think it’s the solution unless you are good at it.
I met my lady on Christian Filipina in late 2019 or first of 2020. I’m in my early 70’s now and before I came here I wasn’t interested in young girls, I was seeking someone more mature who I would have much in common with. At the time she was in her mid 50’s and owned her house and had a sari sari store. She supported her parents and two daughters and I was very impressed with that. She never asked for money, but I did send money once when her mother got very sick and was hospitalized. Later I sent money when her father had a stroke. When I came to the Philippines and he saw me for the first time he broke down in tears and I knew I had done the right thing. We also video chatted three times every day for two hours but eventually went to one hour every time so I always knew where she was. I have not spoken to a single American since I arrived, that’s not why I came here. I have not approached a single filipina but I do smile a lot and greet everyone and have been approached by many, many women. I should also tell you I am not a city guy. We have been building a house and a farm on Leyte, which is nearing completion and I am content with that.
Two thoughts.
Firstly, the way I see it, guys who are easily discouraged by those channels saying “the golden age is gone!” aren’t fit to deal with the plethora of actual challenges they’ll need to face when living in the Philippines. So, they’ll probably do better in the West.
Secondly, of the hundreds of thousands of people that watch YT channels, I’d say only 5% will actually make it to the Philippines and LIVE in the Philippines, and I’m probably being too generous with that number.
Now, if you again narrow that 5% to guys who are able to cold approach a woman (maybe a 10%?), the resulting number of expats is so ridiculous that you need to understand their reality is extremely different from those wasting their time online, taking turns to entertain the minority of scammers.
Thanks!
Most of the Filipinas that expats are romantically involved with have been run through by their local Filipinos and laughed at by their men when they see them together with foreign men lol.
when the war starts,,,,,,,,,,Americans will be hated, when America doesn’t protect Philippines
Thank you, so insightful.
Been off and on 15 years to the philippines before the pandemic i now never use any dating sites. In the first year i did but i don’t need them no more i rather meet who i want to meet in real life. I don’t care how christian or catholic the sites are i simply won’t use them anymore not even the so called trusted sites. I retire next year 6 months a year is ok for me in philippines and the time split up with Da Nang and Hua Hin thailand and Bahamas.
Agree %100
First of all the good times are not over by a long shot in the Philippines. The issue today is you have to work harder to get a Pinay unless you are going to a bar and buying them. I usually agree with Reekay but I have a few differing opinions on this video. Coincidentally, 2012 was the first year I came to the Philippines also. The true pioneers in the Philippines in my opinion were military personnel. I was in the Marine Corps and heard many crazy, incredible, and wild stores about the Philippines. I knew a Pinay from when I was stationed in Hawaii and I had kept in touch with her and decided to visit in 2012. In those days girls were throwing themselves at you. So I can’t imagine what it was like in the 70s or 80s. Online dating was just getting started. Pinays were still using the internet cafe to communicate. Pinays networking to implement the scamming process in my opinion was not the greatest problem. The vloggers have been the problem. Videos telling of fantasies. How to get a Filipina videos. Living on $1,000 a month like a king. Men started watching those videos, getting on the dating sites, coming to the Philippines and acting like idiots. There is no scam if you are not getting money. But there has been unlimited prey for Pinays to take advantage of. And the more men that come to the Philippines gives more options to them and makes it more difficult to meet Pinays then in the past. I don’t believe the dating sites are a waste of time. The problem is most men, especially the rookies don’t know how to avoid the traps. And there is no way to learn but to get hit with a stick a few times. I sure have, and anyone that has done a lot of dating in the Philippines who says they have not gotten hit by the stick is lying. If your new to the Philippines there is no way you are just going to get off the plane and start pulling in girls unless you are a Brad Pitt type, and if you are you probably wouldn’t be going to the Philippines anyways. If you are there for two or three weeks you are going to have to get on a dating site. The reason why you can’t just get off the plane and start pulling girls right away is we bring the Western mentality of how to interact with women. I was 42 in 2012 when I went to the Philippines for the first time. I wasn’t young but I wasn’t the typical past 50 Expat either. It took some time getting used to the idea I was in charge and could act like Marlon Brando or Paul Newman. And that only comes with experience. Yes, meeting the girl face to face is a great way, but for a lot of rookies it is hard to do. Especially when you take into consideration this is a totally different country and culture on top of it. I am still using the dating sites and meeting some quality girls. But the two years in total of being in the Philippines since 2012 has given me that experience to avoid most of the traps. Don’t be afraid. The good times are not over. Try to talk with someone that is actually there to get advice. Too many vloggers are just looking for hits and not giving good advice. This is a good channel though. Try to avoid the big cities like Manila and Cebu where there is a heavy concentration of Expats. It is easier to meet quality Pinays in the provinces. I am going to be back in Manila next January and I know it is going to be bigger and better as far as dating goes.
Not just there But most expat enclaves in Asia are feeling this..Whether fairly observed…Or not…And in based in truth…Or not… Good video, Thanks for the update….Peace
Tell the guy that is running The Philippines Truth channel
This is the case: thanks to social media, Philippina women have opened their eyes to what they really are worth. There is nothing wrong with that…
Facts! Facts! Facts!
❤❤❤
Nice vid. imo 2 reason guys caught up w/internet & sites is fear of rejection don’t really happen online & guys don’t realize just how super easy it is to meet anyone here in the Phils. Most people know at least little bit of English & u often get lots of attention w/o seeking it. Your the little kid in the candy store.
I agree 100%. The only thing that bothers me about approaching Filipinas is I don’t know before hand if she has kid(s), especially young kid(s). That’s a deal breaker for me if she does. It’s OK if she has one older kid (16yo or older) but not young ones. If only there was way to know her situation before I approach. I hate to turn a woman down after we’ve exchange numbers when I find out she has kid(s), especially if she is feeling me and had her hopes up. That’s my biggest issue here in the Philippines. Uuhhhggg……… 🙁
But guys be not shy about approaching a women in the West, what a world we create if only the Philippinas are nice to approach on the streets. And i know westrn womans are way more arrogant.
Good video. Thank you.
“You start a conversation…you get her phone number…..that’s how it was done for thousands of years….” All right then.
PH hadn’t changed a bit. Thr “good women” are plentyful, but the good women want good men who will love them and help them (and their children in many cases) escape the clutches of poverty.
All I can say is the Philippines isn’t the bargain it used to be.
Great video as always sir, thank you.
It’s a great idea to meet filipinas in person but what is to say she isn’t on dating apps as well? You wouldn’t even know.
I totally agree with staying away from the dating sites. I met my Filipina wife online, but it was through the course of my job … not a dating site. We became casual friends, but not in a relationship. Five years later, I thought about moving to the Philippines to escape the increasing man-hating in the USA. I did a boots on the ground recon first for a few weeks … and visited my friend in Bohol and got to know her better. When I came back permanently a second time, we began dating and got married.
I definitely call bullshit!
It’s mostly sensationalist click bait designed for more views and comments to boost monetization. More and more YouTube “junk” channels are doing it … along with creators who do nothing but comment on other people’s content.
Including my ex-wife I was onto my third scammer. Now i live in the Philippines 50 50. I met a woman on Christian Filipina and went on a date with her. I fell madly in love with her she seemed to be the same way. Then, the next day, I got a message from her and she said she had been on her own a long time and wasn’t ready for commitment. I said please give me the opportunity to change your mind. Next date she came on a pretext of taking her auntie to the Doctor. It was polite but cool. I bought her a new handbag which I insisted on doing since it was near her birthday. It’s been a couple of days no messages. In all that time, she refused to take a cent off me for the taxi bus or even a tricycle. This truly sucks. I am going to do things the old fashioned way again. I think there is something about the biological progression of meeting someone in person.
Enrique, even if the ratio of 50% scammers and good women are correct……. it is far better than here in the states where the, “give me, buy me, take me” attitude by women flourish
I always appreciate your videos. It’s true that on dating websites there are so many scammers. There are so many filipinas who are very good persons, that we can meet without thoses dating applets . I met one 2 years and half ago and we are living partners since 2 month after we have met. She is a wonderful woman and my life is full of happyness with her.
That’s what they are and also saying you need $5000 a month
The Internet has ruined a lot of things… this is just one of many.
When you start seeing, strong and independent, and vibes in their profiles, it means it’s not getting better…
I heard that some of those dating sites are infiltrated by scammers that aren’t even women. Not a good idea at all.
Always good info.
Such good advice. Great job as always. Thank you!
Even well-known vloggers who should know better are doing videos entitled “Why Are Expats Leaving the Philippines in Droves?” They usually start with, “I’m getting tons of emails from expats lately …,” which is just BS to justify the clickbait. Then the video is just a series of third-party anecdotes about some nameless expat “getting scammed.” I don’t click anymore.