How To Assess A New Filipina Girlfriend – Philippines


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Author: Reekay

About Me.. In 2011 I made the decision to move to the Philippines within a year. Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat. (Mactan, Bohol, Panglao, Moalboal, Dumaguete, Bacong, Boracay, Cebu) I recently spent the year living in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

Share with me here my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Dating, vlogging, cooking, traveling and sharing the information with you needed to make your own plans for living as a full-time expat in Southeast Asia.
— Reekay

162 comments

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    In this video I discuss, “How To Assess A New Filipina Girlfriend – Philippines”

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  2. Hi Reekay, nice video again.

    I don’t think one can gain discernment through experience or throughout life though.

    I indeed think discernment is a skill you originally have in you or not (like intelligence, actually I find discernment to be the intelligence of senses). To me, through experience, you can gain knowledge, wisdom, among a few other things, but neither discernment nor intelligence. It’s the main reason why more than likely, people tend to keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

    Keep up the good work Bro.

    1. Isn’t that the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over, expecting different result’s
      So those guys are insane in a way

  3. What do you think about hiring a private investigator? It seems like no problem for an online relationship. What idea would you have on choosing a private investigator , from afar. I have been in the Philippines before, the relationship that I had didn’t really work out because of incompatibility.During that time a lot of facts came to light, that if I had known they would’ve influenced my behavior. Thank you, Another good video.

  4. You are 100% correct Reekay in everything you say !! I would not trust any Filipina anymore I don’t think. So many like to steal and cheat in my opinion after spending four years there. I guess I just found some bad ones but came home with a beautiful son. His 14th birthday is next month and I am wondering if this year she will remember his birthday. All your advice is like gold.

  5. If someone lies they are showing you who they are. Believe them the first time. I cannot get over how naive so many expats are.

  6. True discernment is from n led by the Lord, the master n source n fountain of it. The Lord gives all a chance w him. Yet, time tells whether we will truly honor him w our deeds. U spoke very very well Reekay

  7. reekey who is this trash andy omar that talk shit behind you. i guess he needs to mind his own business. i remember long time ago also there was another crab who talk behind you when you were in dumaguete. why they can not keep their head in their own shell??? do your work brother f… them. he better cover his tatoo first coz those tatoo shows who he is

    1. it’s plain to any normal person what hateful people look and act like.

      meanwhile the rest of us will focus on productive, useful topics. gossip is for little girls.

  8. Reekay, it would be really great if you kept making videos with these types of topics. I know your video library is full of a lot of videos on relationships but, have to say, this one was Gold! And more would be awesome!

  9. Great content Reekay, these are the kinds of videos where you are at your best just like the videos from the old days on Bohol

  10. Hi. I like all your videos. I wanted to ask you what are the registrations and requirements for a foreigner earning income from YouTube while stationed in ph on srrv.

    1. yes, it’s very simple. at the adsense dashboard is a section for filling out a W9 (if you are a usa citizen) or a TIN (if you are a foreigner to the usa) and that’s it. at end of tax year they will report how much was withheld in taxes. there is a simple video about this done by YTube here… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeKEtf8A3FU

  11. 100% save the heart ache, best way I find is meet one that is educated and both parents married and both work . Then look at there friends if there friends are good people all have jobs and are good girls then your off to a good start. If she doesn’t take you around them or their sketchy watch out.

  12. I have a few possible women in Cebu. but before I go back to Cebu I need a private investigator to do some simple surveillance to see how they live, and if what they tell me is true. It will be expensive. But far cheaper than to be scammed and hurt again.

    1. trying to find a good PI (expat or local) is also a scam waiting to happen. few can access the info most needed.

  13. Good blog as usual Henry. Boy, I could write a bbok on this subject. I think the biggest problem for most people expats is they bring their history of thinking with them to the Philippines. We create excuses for the woman here who treat us badly as we did for those woman who we had relationships with in our home country. Most men come here because of a history of bad relationships at home. They see it but are used to it and too often rationalize the bad behavior. Yes she steals, pulls tampo for a week at a time 2 or 3 times a month, and will have sex only on her time qnd obviously is just using me BUT she has never tried to kill me. Many men, including myself, have never had a really good relationship to compare it to, the really good relationship is what other guys have.

  14. I have an older gf for over 1year and met her 2 adult son and daughter on video chats. Have seen pictures or video chats with sisters and cousins. Yes family is what you consider poor there. Yes I send $200 now each month. I have cleaned up my debt and saving to come over when country opens. I know her personality and appreciate her frugal use of money.

    1. i never fault anyone for being poor. we don’t all get the same opportunities in life, so i am glad it has not hindered your assessment of her or her family. it does my heart good to know you look to help her with her needs. i wish you both the best in your future together.

  15. What do you see , and hear, time is the real test of trust. Your Lust is not Trust, with Boots on the ground your able to see what’s Real over Time.
    Over the years Reekay you have Given Great Discernment in Relationships.

  16. Great advice Reekay…3 months is the Gold Standard. Guys thinking they are going to win in Pinay games….are losers. No games.

  17. If she is nagging BEFORE there’s even a serious relationship, it will definitely get worse as the relationship progresses.

  18. I think that you could do an entire video of how to identify mercenary women and Filipinas in general. People need to be informed of the scams as the scammers are getting smarter and smarter.

  19. Ghost them at their first lie and never look back. This is good practical advice that anyone should follow, not just those dating a Filipina. And yes it’s true, anyone can put on an act for three months. I’m shocked at the number of people who are willing to propose/make significant financial commitments within two weeks of knowing someone IRL (or even virtually for that matter).

  20. If you don’t have 3 months….crash get real…7 days no phones, no relatives, no bars….just the two of you. If you cannot make 7 days of hyper-close…no chance.

  21. Must have a plan for the balance of need for trust and comfort…and the inevitable human need for fresh and exciting experiences….got a plan stan?

  22. I have no clue why someone would stick around when he’s being lied to; folks, the Philippines have some of the most beautiful women around. Period.

  23. Very good advice that is does not matter whom has issues: you start with attraction, compatibility, and longevity. If this is assured, then trust will complete the deal.

  24. Reekay, another great down to earth video. There are a lot of women in butuan city area. That are users, always wanting something bought, ordering lazada expecting you to pay for it when it arrives. Also there are some that do not go out with you in public, not sure why that is but it happens. Trust, is a vey big item in a relationship. They like to be very fast for a relationship, and live with you that is a bad option.

    1. usually, when a filipina doesn’t want to be seen around town with her ‘boyfriend’, it is because everyone in town knows she’s either married or has kids with some guy.

  25. I found this women on Filipino Cupid she said she lives in a 8 bedroom 9.9 million php house somewhere in Cavite City cousin that is in France owns the house all her expenses are paid but food. she said I need you to make more than 2000 usd a month when you come over here to live she said I’m going to need more like 6k to 10k a month
    what are your thoughts?

    1. well, as my mom said to me once, “when a woman really loves a man, she’ll live under a tree with him.”

      women who have specific monetary expectations are just looking for the bigger, better deal. me, i wouldn’t waste time on a woman who will be lured away by shiny objects from other men.

    1. I hope it works out for both of you. But, from another channel, if you treat a woman too much like a queen, she will eventually treat you too much like a peasant.

  26. Sir you always have great advice you’ve helped me through some things that are met on women online and I have learned to stop letting a little head do the thinking for the big one

  27. And most important rule here ladies and Gents… If she aint no virgin… no reason to pay a dime for her either…. if a local took that when she was 12, just change lady…. how hard can it be….???

    1. @Ulf Brunnemyr it is below ridiculous. there is much more to a woman than whether she’s a virgin or not. but maybe that’s too much work for you to figure out. or you are under the false idea that a virgin somehow equates compatibility.

    2. i just have to say, that is a ridiculous criteria. whether she is a virgin or not has nothing to do with anything. that is simply vapid.

  28. A guy told me one time, “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner…..

  29. Hey Henry, Curtis in Las Vegas.. I’ll be Condo searching in Cebu in July. Probably near Ayala Mall.
    After the lock down, I know you’re itching to travel, not sure if you’ll be keeping your base there in Cebu.
    Hoping to hang out, share some laughs and buy you guys a couple of lunches.
    If you remember the conversation we shared in HoChiMinh, I LOVE Thailand but it’s not the same connection and humor you will have with a Pinay. So.. coming to Cebu July 2nd.

    1. hey curtis!, good to hear from you. i have a few other buddies there in hcmc still and enjoying it. i miss the food there so much! but yes, it’s hard to do better than a good filipina. 🙂

  30. I’ve got the key to the highway.
    No one knows or can take care of me as well as I do. Don’t ever think someone else will do it for you. It ain’t gonna happen.
    Make yourself a great day, cause no one else will do it for you.

  31. Cant trust them after 10 years married atleast mine has a hard time telling the truth even if its something simple just took it as her upbringing.

  32. I was taking notes diligently . THEN @15:55 “the difference between and apple and a banana..” Well, Reekay, as you know, I have an apple and you have a pin. Let me say it again. Apple. Pin…. APPLE. PIN… I think that should help at least some guys in their dating successes. #babyShark

  33. I always say that words typed on a computer screen may be a front to your heart, your wallet, or your ego. Spend lots of time video chatting and some time being together not only with her but with her family and friends. The REAL her would come out soon!

  34. I can hear Christianity sprinkled throughout your talk. Not in a religious kind of way but like a Jesus teaching kind of way—in the way of relationship talk to the boys…Great stuff!

  35. Lots of good advice on this channel. I wish the internet existed 35 years ago.

    I was penpals in the 1980s with two filipinas. With the first one, I had bought a plane ticket to the Philippines to see her. I phoned her beforehand, because I needed contact info for when I arrived. Her sister answered the phone, and told me that she wasn’t there – she had married a German guy and gone to Germany!! And I thought I was the only one! Lost money on the ticket.

    Afterwards, I was writing a second filipina. I sent her money because of family troubles. Gradually I noticed that she wasn’t really answering my questions and whole paragraphs were the exact same as in previous letters. Scammed – I cut her off.

    That turned me off the Philippines, and I eventually married a Chinese Malaysian. Been married 34 years.
    Still, I aways wondered what would have happened if the Philippines worked out.

    1. I was just out of grad school back then and only met scammers and suffered much worse than your experience. And, every young foreign man I met there had tales of sorrow, crying in their beers. There is a very vocal 1% who claim they are the winners (I bet they are sending money home). I’d say you dodged a bullet. As a common church prayer says there: “God give me”. It’s a one-way street, their way. And, I find the marriages there is financial based including having children as their retirement plan. It’s not about passion and intimacy, we expect in the West. See Sternberg’s triangle. I’m not sure how Malaysia compares. Is it all about passion and intimacy (romantic love), or gender roles and finance? Peace.

  36. Great video. 13:46 sums it well. 85% of men are non-select (geography doesn’t change that). Sadly, most will make rationalizations to justify marriage, visa petitions and having babies just to get the love fix (what our father’s did). I find 100% of the time it’s about MANipulation as I’m not tall young stud. So, the first conversation ends in about 30 seconds. They can tell my ATM pays by my rules and I don’t need traditional gender roles. So, they don’t need me. Peace.

    1. investing, whether it be in the NYSE or cryptos isn’t a casual endeavor. anyone thinking to do so should do lots of studying before investing their first dollar. otherwise, the market will absorb their hard-earned money with their rookie mistakes. lots of good YT channels out there with good investing advice. (and just as many with bad advice.) 🙂

  37. Enjoyed this vid. Sound thoughts. You see a lot where blokes (me included) ignore their gut feeling.

  38. As to discernment, what you say about men typically applies to women choosing men. Some blind spot exists as to inner qualities.

    1. yes, it’s a flaw in our nature not limited to men. most people make their decisions based on need, greed, fear or desire. not on sound discernment.

  39. Hi Reekay,,I Did Send You A PM On Your Instagram Account,,appreciate if you check it out..cheers Fera

  40. You sir are a wise sage… Call it as we see it without rose colored glasses on. Though in the states till 2020 then I can return. Trying the online dating now to see who I meet. Have been chatting with one for about 7 weeks on a daily basis. Won’t let me even give her a gift though she is poised with open arms to welcome me when I come there. I have yet to ask why she is still on the dating site and checks it daily. I hide my profile a month ago and noted it to her…. another life mystery to solve.

    1. Have you confronted her about why she is still on there? Problem is, she’ll get off the one you know about and just hop on another 3 or 4

    2. They do that sometimes, I think it’s because they really don’t think you will ever come to the Philippines so they are just keeping their options open.

    3. You’re the boss, tell her to get off the site. If she’s still on there, she has a reason and it’s not good for you. Good luck.

    4. sounds like you may have a good woman you’re in touch with. hoping the best for both of you.

  41. Good video… The guy sounds like he has never met her…I think long distance relationships are just friendships..When you finally meet you might not like her as a girlfriend . The same goes with her she might not like you as a boyfriend.. So always look at it as a long distant friendship only.

    1. yes. you may know the first five-minutes being with her in-person that she’s not the one for you. even though ‘online’ it all seemed good.

  42. There used to be a guy in the Philippines that did private detective work, investigating Filipinas for foreigners.

  43. Will be coming up on 8 years with my Jen this May. It’s the smartest move I ever made but your advice is spot on.

  44. I couldn’t agree with you more about the online thing i wouldn’t bleave anything a person online told me.
    There’s ways to know if a person is up to no good personally i won’t put up with any bs as soon as i see the first signs of dishonesty there out the door faster than they came in i had a girl steal 1000 pesso in manila i put her out at 3 am as soon as i noticed the money gone good video thanks for sharing

  45. Thank you Reekay for that very honest and direct advice to all … the Pinay is not the solution for your broken heart..so take your time and be smart!! Take your time.!! Don’t be stupido.

  46. There is no school on life, a person has to get out there, fall down and skin their knees, get their fingers burned, get kicked in the ass and most important have their feelings hurt. Hopefully after a while this guy you mentioned will learn how to assess people, unfortunately some people never learn and their life is a living hell! Oh well.. shit happens!

  47. I had one , made her my Fiance , her Daughter called me dad. was with her for 2 years and started to discover her lies .. very very long one year story of searching and talking to her family I find out she has a husband and actually 5 kids along with 13 fake fb accounts full of men. I lost over 20 thousand Canadian her name .. Mary Ann Gigantone .. Rodriguez Rizal , stay away men she is a pro at telling stories.

    1. @mountain biker wow, I’m sorry it cost you so much. I would like to hear your story. Did you go through a legal process over there to gain custody of your son? Is this partially why it cost you so much? Kind regards

    2. don’t feel bad I lost about 400k US but I did get to keep my wonderful son who is here with me now. it was an expensive lesson but I’m doing great and I do not worry about it. I would not trust any girl from the Philippines anymore. Everyone should read Reekay’s posts before ever getting serious with a girl there.

    3. The first litmus test in my discernment kit is never giving money, just enjoy a nice lifestyle they can partake in on a day by day basis. The second litmus test is no babies and having her take solid birth control (implant or IUD you can know is there) and getting an STD and PAP test (many fail it). I could go on. 99.9% have no interest in me after 30 seconds of small talk (I’m the king of rejection) because they can tell I’m not easily MANipulated. I rarely bother going there anymore as I see more red flags than a communist parade every time. Peace.

  48. nope me been married 2 times both filipina 20 yrs first and second is 18yrs now i think more just wating so we can go back to our new house we rebuilt that was shock my wife rebuilt our house on top of old one well this covid has stopped us going there up in Nailon near Bogo soon we get out flu vax’s soon and then we can go there

    1. the process is to verify the premise of trust. not all people of any nation are the same.

  49. So many guys are blind to red flags. Lies are a dealbreaker no matter how attractive she is. Wake up men

  50. Anyway to check if she was/is married?. How far does the being with separated Filipino laws go?. I’m seeing on dating sites a lot of separated women.

    1. yes, you can check for a previous marriage by requesting a CENOMAR. you will need some information and a letter from her giving you permission to get this info. or she can request it directly herself. here is a link with some info on requirements for a CENOMAR.
      https://psa.gov.ph/civilregistration/requesting-civil-registry-document/cenomar

      as for the status of ‘Separated’.. in the PH that means they are still legally married. which brings with it legal adultery issues. more on that here..
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icQ2suMsxHc

  51. Excellent Video with sound advice. You put your finger on something people can never understand. All my life I have been told I have the gift of decrement. That is why I have never been scammed I can spot a lie for that truth and Good from evil easily. I was in an LDR for 9 months & when I came here to be with her over 2 years ago It wasn’t like meeting for the first time. She was exactly what I expected and still is.

    1. It depends on the severity of the lie I guess, but yes, catching someone in a lie when they are deliberately out to mislead or hide something is a red flag.

  52. Great Video Reekay . 100% agree how important discernment is. I was chatting with a gal online from Phil once and she kept sending me links to the most lavish resort around and hinting we should stay there when i get there. Like $250-300 a night! So i saw that as a red flag that shes a high maintenance gold digger or just want to use me “for a good time”. Moved on. Not traveling across the world to spend more than i do in USA on a date.

    1. @Bob Bruce but neither of those things (the marriage process vs. the gold digger stuff) are necessary to put up with over there. You can date decent women who are happy with 40 dollar hotels, etc.

    2. Good catch. But, that’s way cheaper than marriage, visa petitions, babies, buying houses you can’t title and sending money home every month (which most men are doing). The problem of the lady suggesting resorts is being set up. Never go where they suggest, it can be a trap. You must plan everything. I find the hassles not worth the airfare unless you just like long plane flights and going to tourist spots for fun, such as for diving. Peace.

  53. Enrique. Te mereces,
    El cielo.
    Tienes una paciencia
    Increible.
    Trust is paramount
    In any relationship
    Indeed.

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