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Sexual Compatibility with Wide Age Difference
I've spent quite a bit of time watching Reekays videos, reading his posts and belonging to a Philippines yahoo group for several years and reading every post. I have been to the Philippines around 13 times for various lengths of time. My question is related to all the information relative to how there are so many happy marriages between 20 something Filipinas and 60 plus year old Westerners. My question actually comes from my brother who believes that the filipina would rather have someone her own age due to "better sexual compatibility" if you catch my drift. To all those who are happily married with this kind of age difference how do you manage this? Any filipinas care to comment? I can't find any information on this topic.
I'd say the first thing to nail down (no pun intended) is the definition of "sexual compatibility". It differs in the East from the West.
In the Western cultures, men and women are independent, outgoing and usually curious about their sexual frontiers. In Southeast Asia, Philippines in particular, the woman takes a submissive, demure approach to sex.
What this means is that, when with a western woman, she has needs and expects to be equally pleasured in the whole incident, every bit as much as the man.
But in the Philippines, (again, generally speaking.. there will be exceptions).. women look at sex as just one part of their obligation to make their man happy.
So, here's how it goes down (another pun) when it comes to sex and your question. In the PH, a Filipina is looking to her man (husband/boyfriend) to take the lead and show her what makes him happy. She is very willing to go along with whatever desires he has and rarely will voice any resistance to.. again, whatever makes him happy. She is looking to him to define how often, how long, etc. She does not bring 'demands' to the bedroom the way a western woman will.
So, if her husband is 70 years old and she's 22.. and he only wants sex once a week, same way each time.. she's happy with that. She won't push for more. She won't push for variety. If he's happy and content with that, that becomes their routine.
If her husband want sex ten times a week, sometimes in the morning, when she gets home from work or at 3am.. she's fine with that too. Why? Because it makes him happy. Same thing applies if he wants her to wear lingerie, try adult toys, etc.. so long as it is kept private, she is usually willing to comply. But.. if he talks about it to his buddies or word of what they do behind closed doors gets out to her family.. expect she will retract and not be so compliant in the future. Sex for them is very private and to be kept behind closed doors.
Which is great news for most men. Whatever their frequency is, a Filipina in love with adjust to that. The problems come in when the Filipina is not in love and she desires more sex than he can give or wants to have. But that's more of a bad-relationship issue, not so much a sexual compatibility issue.
Thank you for your quick response Reekay. I hope you're right. I love, love, love your You Tube videos. You're doing a great service. I hope to see more on this topic though I realize it is delicate. I have been married to two Filipinas. Both marriages ended in divorce after 5-6 years and I believe that bringing them here to the US had alot to do with it. Hope to meet you for lunch someday and tell you my story. I know you are all about Living in the Philippines and I have tried twice and decided I just can't do it for a number of reasons. I'd love to see you do a You Tube video on the pluses, minuses and pitfalls of bringing a Filipina to the USA. I'm in the process of doing it for a 3rd time ( love those Filipinas) with a lovely 38 year old with one child. I am retired and free to live where I want but the majority of men looking for a Filipina as a lifetime partner, (including me the first time), I believe, are working and may only have a 3 week vacation to work with. they don't have the luxury of living there for a year or two and knowing her for 9-12 months as you recommend. Any thoughts would be sincerely appreciated. Keep up the great work. Its truly worthwhile. You are giving something that can't be measured but is helping many.