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Hello folks, I am well and truly green when it comes to all things Filipina and dating in particular. I started looking into the possibility / prospect of meeting and finding a genuine asian partner about 6 weeks ago. In that time I quickly found myself gravitating towards Filipina ladies.
My general plan has / was to meet and filter a few potentially nice ladies through online dating sites and to make a holiday trip that included meeting and to go from there. I think I have approached with a fairly level head and running across Henry on you tube helped to reaffirm the optimistic but cautious approach.
I have allowed myself to converse with a large number of people and to let the interactions filter themselves as a natural process where I click with people. This has led to becoming quite friendly with a lady that lives on the Island of Mindanao; specifically in the South Cotabato region. I am sure anyone at all familiar with the Philippines will know of the travel warnings and danger to foreigners from millitant groups.
My question or request for advice is that I have come to learn about the cultural importance of family and how that operates compared to where I come from in Australia. I really like this person but am wondering about the logistical realities in conducting a relationship where her family resides in that region and I don't wish to risk visiting that area.
She is a school teacher and has agreed to meet me elsewhere during their break in april / may. I haven't asked her outright but would it be expected or an obligation for me to meet the family if we were to become serious?
Sounds like you're going about things in the right way. Its always a good idea to meet the family if for no other reason than to know her better. That doesn't mean you need to go there. Its not too expensive to bring them to you even if they fly. More importantly you will impress her and show how serious you are by asking to meet her family. My thought only.... Good luck !
I have had communications with a few ladies that have lasted a number of weeks but it always seems like they become very emotionally attached, possessive and almost stalkerish long before I have learned enough about them. It becomes very difficult to ask sensitive questions once you learn that it upsets them to think you don't trust them 100% already.
With the lady I mentioned above; I have remained friendly and trying to learn more about her. I have not expressed any commitment other than I would like to meet her and get to know her better. I have also not introduced any overt sexual content.
Since this post she sprung a new one on me. As I was signing off for bed after chatting for a while she said "can i ask you one question before you go to sleep?" I said sure.
"When you visit and we meet can we try to have a baby?" This is from a 38 year old school teacher and we have never met!
That def threw me. It made me wonder how rational she was and if my spending time chatting to people was unfair to them? I have tried to maintain an open mind about things but I have made a conscious decision to not spend as much time chit chatting. With other people I try to ask all the important questions upfront and then decide to keep in contact after that at friendly contact level.
Many Filipinas attach very quickly. Don't forget that you are considered a prize and they don't want anyone else to take you away. The other thing is that many would love to have a mixed baby with western features because they are considered beautiful. My buddy and I were once in Cebu when a girl just walked up to him in the mall and asked to have his baby !
I'm sure she is rational. I don't feel you are being unfair by chatting. Its our way of getting to know someone. Many Filipinas I've met are pretty matter-of-fact about sex. Plus at 38 she may feel she is already beyond "old maid" status. Just my experiences and impressions. Most foreigners want the 18-25 year olds and there are many more of those. As for me I had a very bad experience with one of those so now I prefer late 30's up. They seem to have a much better handle on life.
I loved the confident "I am sure she is rational" statement 😉
I have tried to use 35 years as the low age limit. You're right about the numbers. There seems to be a massive number of ladies 25 ish and up to 30 that are desperate for a foreign partner.
I am sorry to hear you had a bad experience but I am glad you mentioned it. I have been tempted by my ego to consider the very attractive younger ladies. Thankfully I have managed to talk myself out of that risk.
I figured that if I brought a lady back to Australia then she is only human and may simply be more inclined to exercise her relative potential in gaining a younger, wealthier partner. There is no way someone under 35 in Australia would consider an average 46 year old to be a fair trade off unless there was a massive financial benefit.
There are advantages and disadvantages to all age groups. The older Filipinas are mostly single moms. Typical story is that they got pregnant by a man who refused to wear a condom and then zoom he disappears ! Magic ! Children are revered in the Filipino culture so Mom's raise them the best they can with the help of the extended family. If you meet a childless Filipina who has never been married and is, lets say in her late 30's and up beware ! Thats old maid status and theres usually a reason. I believe the odds tilt in your favor with a single Mom old enough that her kids are out of the house and on their own. Many are still attractive but hard to find. There is a huge difference in marrying with a big age difference and living in the Philippines vs taking her to Australia. It can work but more often fails as you say. There is no substitute for life experience and good character is most important. My wife deceived me for 7 years, believe it or not, so sometimes even a well honed bullshit detector doesn't work ! As they say " you bet your money and you take your chances". Protect yourself with a prenup and you "only" risk your heart. In my case that was a risk I wish I had not taken. For what its worth.....